Love doctors, i need help with my situation!?! His family is against our relationship. what shall i do?

I鈥檓 seeing this guy for a couple of months now. I never intended to get serious at him coz of my studies but now I have fallen completely in love with him coz he didn't give me any reason not to. At first I was doubting his feelings but as time goes by I really felt that he鈥檚 truly in love with me. He鈥檚 foreigner ,7 years older than me and he already have a stable work. While me I鈥檓 still a university student who have big obligation to her family.


He ask me to marry him after i finish my studies but I explained to him that I need four years since i have to work hard after I graduate to help my family. Since he loves me he said he鈥檚 willing to wait.


Lately he suddenly stopped seeing me.


When he showed up, he explained he was having family matters.


He told his family (who are in abroad) about our relationship. He鈥檚 mom strongly refuse to accept us because they already want him to marry someone---his cousin. (Yes, endogamy. which is part of their family culture) He strongly argued with his parents.


He told me that he'd fight his parents just for me. Several days past he鈥檚 problem became even worst. Now their whole clan his against our relationship. They don鈥檛 want him to marry someone from another country. And they all insist on him marrying his cousin.


I feel terribly bad for him since his torn between two stones hitting on each other. Now,he told me that he can鈥檛 live peacefully without his family blessing and he can鈥檛 also live happily without me.


I don鈥檛 know what to do ='(


he loves me but his entire family is against us.


I love him but right now I can鈥檛 commit myself completely to him since I still have school and my family to support.


I was thinking of ending our relationship.


I know someone has to let go..im sure his family wont..so I think it will have to be me.


I don鈥檛 want to be the reason for him to cut ties with his family. I fully understand how much he loves his family.


I love him but I have to let go.(i don't want him to face more difficulties)


If you understand what am saying right now..i want to know..


am i doing the right thing? is this


the right thing to do? I need an advice.thanks for taking me seriously.Love doctors, i need help with my situation!?! His family is against our relationship. what shall i do?
If you really love him you will tell him you don't love him anymore and that he gets on your nerves and you never want to see him again.





That way he can move on and will never wonder what might have been. People that care that much about what their family thinks will never be happy going against the family wishes and his family will never accept you.





So you can spend the rest of your life with him and see him unhappy because he misses his family or leave him in a way where he thinks there is no chance with you ever and let him be happy. You will be able to move on too with time.Love doctors, i need help with my situation!?! His family is against our relationship. what shall i do?
Wow, sorry to hear about that. However, a man who TRULY loves you, will dump his family for you.
All I can tell you is what a very wise man said once: ';Love is retarded';. I am sorry that is all I have to offer
Unfortunately I think my answer is exactly what you are thinking.


Yes you should leave this relationship alone. Even if he does go against his family at some point he will bring it up and make it your fault. And I think you don't want to be the reason he and his family have an issue.





Let it be. Let him go. Finish school. And start looking.


I am sure you will find someone from a more similar culture to yours.





Even if you disagree with above the culture difference may come through in other areas that you are not facing yet... Always tricky getting into relationships with people from other ';deeply rooted'; cultures.
For one good girl for focusing on your studies that is more important than this jerry springer live right before you. i suggest you leave these peices where they lay. you MIGHT have something to offer this world. I understand that him marrying his own cousin has got to suck but these are his families and his CULTURES beliefs we cannot change them just like americas ****. lol. You have to make this decision on your own cupcake sorry! 1. you can leave him and be miserable for like what 2 months?


2. you can run away together and live in forbidden esactasy


3. you can tell his family to stop being so damn creepy and tell them to **** off and your gonna **** their son and **** him good and long time!!!


This is retarded that you've been subjected to this obscure enviroment. you know what to do sista just leave this mo fo alone


i know it hurts but its better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all! i'm sorry if i sounded rude at all i was just trying to cheer you up!
Dear sister, You are a wise person, very wise. My respect to you. Sometimes these sad, difficult steps are the wisest course of action. Now may be you both will be heart broken, but over time I think you come to see that it is the course of action.





Time is the biggest healer, and when these pains will subside, you will see the wisdom of your actions. I can only imagine to think your pain, but it's the true love that is making you take this drastic step. It will be his loss, to lose someone was worthy as you, to lose some one as loving as you, just because of his narrow minded family!


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There is an alternate solution, however it may be not to your liking. From what you said about the guy, i assume he is middle-eastern and probably a moslem, hence of different faith to you (ASSUMPTION no offence). You may ask him to take you to meet his parents and family, or if possible the reverse his parents meeting you, so that they may get to know you better and hence remove their misconceptions, and see you for what really you are.





Then perhaps, perhaps they may accept you. Mind you, dead sister, this is only theoretical and I personally wouldn't suggest it. My intention was to show an alternate path.





Peace sister. My respect to you!