Okay I really need input on this, I have a FRIEND, ahem who is with a woman now just under 1 year and for the last few months it has been progressively getting worst. The strange thing is she does these things, for example if she isnt getting the attention she needs or wants she will throw a tantrum and literally fight. When things are good they are good but when they are bad they are nasty. Whatever causes the fight it could be something as simple as not saying sweetdreams on the phone before going to sleep and for the next 3 hours i have to deal with her all upset and carrying on. Okay here is the point, i have been trying to steer her in the direction that it just is not working out but im now beginning to see what will happen. Well, she has flat out told me that if i stay with her life will be good but if i 'hurt her' ( by ending the relationship ) then i will pay and pay bigtime!! Because her uncle is a big shot lawyer and people dont take kindly to woma beaters etc.. i said wtf when did i do that? are you kidding me? yes sure as **** she banged her shin and took a picture and now saying i did that... oh my God, i have never ever touched her, she is the one who admittedly has an anger problem and it usually leads me to having to hold her to push her on the bed to stop her. There is no kinds of police reports or anything like that so what can I do? Ive want to end things civilly because we are just better off as friends the relationship thing just isnt working out. By the way, I have saved a few phone txt messages recently where she admits that she has an anger problem, that she is unstable and when she is hurt she feels the need to inflict the same if not harder pain on the other person. She has already started to slander me to friends because i think as much as she does not want to admit it, she realizes it's coming to an end and she is preparing to hurt and do anything in her power to gain vengeance.
I guess im also to blame because she was that way with her X and she just painted such a horrible picture of him and how he used to beat on her etc i did not see it coming, her fake halo was shining too bright.
There is just so much more to this, she has messaged all my X's and just friends o facebook telling them how she is my woman and i need to leave him alone.
Okay here is a great one to give you an idea of what she is doing, yesterday morning she called my sister from her cellphone blocking the number. LUCKILY my sister has an iphone with an application called TrapCall which tells you the number when someoe blocks the call. So my sister called back and she pretended to be someone and asked who it was when my sister told her she freaked out and told her she doesnt know until she realized that my sister picked up on her voice and then greeted her saying that I USED her phone to call her. So what really happened? She looked through my phone the day before and copied a few numbers which included my sister's, because in her twisted mind i must've saved a girl im talking to under my sisters name which is not the case. She blocked her number and called my sister with the intention of catching me red handed. It isnt about another girl... it is just her, i dont love her like that. Can anyone help? Maybe I am just venting but if anyone has any insight from personal experiences please share.
So basically to summarize, if i dont stay with her my life will be turned inside out because every one of my friends and family she will contact and tell them things to make them hate me, she will call the police saying i did x y and z to her and who knows what else because she even threatened me once about suing me ( ive never borrowed money or anything like that from her) not to mention every secret of anything we've shared will be made public. Help help help - i know this sounds pathetic but it really is that bad, but hey if i stay with her and try to work things out she will give me the world as she puts it.How do you end a relationship civil with a revengeful woman?
You have met a narcissist. You need to protect yourself, go and discuss her threats with the police. Once they have it documented, stay away from her, forever. No communication, nothing. Take all information you have, give copies to the police your family and friends and tell them what she is planning on doing.
She will not give you the world, she will destroy you from the inside out. She is severely disordered and you need to research narcissism online.How do you end a relationship civil with a revengeful woman?
too much drama..just end the relationship and move on
Ok heres what your going to do ! Get yourself a tape recorder one that will only come on when you are talking and hide it somewhere where she will never find it . Then over the course of 3 or 4 days you need to bait her into saying things like she will have you arrested for beating you even if you didnt . Then if she starts to scream and throw things say Im getting out of here and let her rant on . Then you can come back later and retrieve the recorder . The best would be a video cam so it will film her hitting herself . Thats all I have good luck!
It sounds to me like it's your ';friend's'; problem...if people know you aren't dating her they'll take her stupid remarks and behavior with a grain of salt...
you do have a dilemma there and it seems that the woman needs some sort of help or counseling. All I can say is if you do love her be very very patient and give her all the help and guidance she needs to overcome her pathetic ways. If this does not seem to be progressing then remember to keep any records, tapes and a diary of all actions by her to cover yourself and confide in your family and friends before she slanders you.
Sadly, women face this crap with crazy men all the time. Preemptively call the police and ask them how to leave her since she's already made threats. Send out a group email and tell your friends and family that you've had difficulty with this woman, and please excuse anything they get from her. Then bolt. Blackmail is a relationship, but not the one you want. It's all about fear. If you make it clear you aren't afraid of her, you remove all her power. Good luck.
800.799.SAFE Nat'l Domestic Violence Hotline- what she's doing is abuse, just like it is when a man does it.
well to put this bluntly, with what you have said about her there will not be a way to end it civil. also like some of the other answers you need to get evidence of what she has said and done both video and audio. talk to your family and friends about the things she does and says so you will have proof later in case you need it. they could be witnesses to testify.then once you get enough evidence, you need to just up and leave her, if you live together do it while she not there to avoid conflict. then take the evidence you have and file a report and get a restraining order if you dont live together that will be good for you cuz you already have a place to live unless you think she will come there and start sh-- in which case if its at all possible i would move so she doesnt know where you are. but in any case you need to end it she is nuts and needs some serious help and there will be nothing you can do to change things to make it better get out while the getting is good before she really does hold true to one of her threats and you wind up in jail for something you didnt do.
Get out ASAP, don't allow her to hold you hostage. I'm not sure how old you are, but I agree with others that if you are genuinely concerned with this, preempt her by going to the police. The thing is, people don't take men seriously when we are victims of a domestic situation. At the very least save every text message, email, or voicemail that could help you in the future. Ask your friends to save those messages from facebook, or any type of communication she sent to them proving her behavior. Record any conversation you have with her on the phone and get her to reveal her plan.
If she were to do this, the longer you stay the worse it looks on you. But you're just going to have to man up and deal with this.
Wow..you really need to be done with all of this.
As for the threatening to say you beat her, I would get a tape recorder of her admitting that she will hurt herself and accuse you of doing it. Then I would break up with her and go to the police to file a retraining order or to at least file a complaint and play the tape for them to cover your own ***.
Sorry buddy..good luck with everything, sounds like you will have a bit of drama for a while.
Also, good call by saving the texts..maybe she will leave you a nasty voice mail you could save as well
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