Monday, August 16, 2010

Why do I love my abusive boyfriend so much?

I have been in an abusive relationship for two years now. When I first met Joe the chemistry we had was like no other. It was more passionate then anything I had ever experienced,and within a couple of weeks we were already telling each other ';I love you';,and within a few months we were living together. He did things and made me feel certain ways that no man had ever made me feel before. He cooked,cleaned,sent flowers,wrote me love notes. He was great with my daughter.He was all around just a very affectionate and sensitive kind of guy and we had so much fun together. Throughout the first year there were several incidents that happened where looking back now I should have just left but didn't. He was abusing drugs and alcohol,I found out he had been in prison for 3 years for assualt,getting arrested for stealing,cheating on me with his ex,constantly lying, and the list goes on and on. I stuck by him because we always had an understanding that our love was unconditional and that when you really truly love someone you stick by them until the end. I knew he had a lot of problems growing up like being abused by an alchoholic mother and he never had a father in his life,so this was the excuse I kept making for him,and I felt sorry for him. Almost exactly a year after us being together was when he started putting his hands on me. He has choked me, spit in my face,punched me,shoved a cell phone down my throat,and on and on. After these incedents I would break up with him,but would always end up going back to him thinking things would change. I would remember the good times we had,and he would promise to never put his hands on me again. Things would be wonderful for a few months and then it would go right back to the abuse. I have really no one to talk to about this because it seems like no one understands. Why do I still love this person so much and how can I leave him without feeling lost and all alone? I feel like he is my world and without him I am literally sick to where I don't eat or sleep. Is there any hope for a person like this? I know this sounds crazy!Why do I love my abusive boyfriend so much?
You're crazy, about the crazy guy.Why do I love my abusive boyfriend so much?
Cause your mind Is telling you that some day he will go back to the first time you met him. But now that he knows he can Abuse you. Hes just gonna keep doing it.
That's not love. It's a fear of being alone. You rationalize what he is doing becsues you think it is better than being on your own. It's not. You are living in the past and you are controlled by wishful thinking. By the time you figure it out, you will have lost your youth or you and your children will be seriously injured or killed.


What are you teaching your daughter about how she should be treated?





You need this information:





Help is available to callers 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Hotline advocates are available for victims and anyone calling on their behalf to provide crisis intervention, safety planning, information and referrals to agencies in all 50 states, Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands. Assistance is available in English and Spanish with access to more than 170 languages through interpreter services. If you or someone you know is frightened about something in your relationship, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1鈭?00鈭?99鈭扴AFE (7233) or TTY 1鈭?00鈭?87鈭?224.
no self respect


your a coward because no courage to break out to decency
I'm just going to be blunt.





Because it is extremely hard to walk away from someone you love,


but let me tell you something. You will feel a million bucks' if you do.
First, I gotta say you're crazy overall for sticking with a guy that both hurts you emotionally and physically. Literally and just straight up, he's holding you back by hurting you.





Second, do you love HIM? Or do you love THE WAY HE USED TO LOVE YOU? I'm pretty sure you wouldn't love him the way he is now, but I'm seeing it as you HAVE THIS PERCEIVED IMAGE OF HIM AS THE MAN HE USED TO BE (flowers, cleaned, cooked, etc) and you THINK he will change if you stick by him. Unlikely to happen in all honesty, from a guy who has seen way too many broken hearts and shattered self-esteems from girls who refused to let go of their obviously very abusive boyfriends.





Third, why stick with a guy who would shove a cellphone down your throat? HELL, if I was a female, I would dump that kind of jerk the moment he ever tried to abuse/assault me in any way. Not to mention get a restraining order.





Fourth, I think you really need the encouragement and will power to see that an abusive boyfriend is not healthy for you- love is addictive, but not pain. Recognize what's realistic and what's not here.





I think you love him really because you think can change him, and that even if you could leave him, you wouldn't be happy because you grew so attached to him. But to better yourself, you gotta let the past behind and move on- THERE ARE PLENTY OF GUYS OUT THERE WILLING DATE.





Love is distorted in your view especially with an abusive boyfriend. I can't say my advice is the best, but I hope I helped you somewhat.





I'm also sorry if I offended you in anyway, I never meant to personally offend anyone here online, so my apologies if anything offensive occurred.

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