Two years ago they were friends but turned into lovers (intimatly and were in love). Unfortunatly, the relationship ended because he realizes they were both at different stages of life. Shortly after they broke up, my boyfriend and I met after a month of their break up. They were still friends but once in a while she'll tell him she loves him and misses him. He tolerates this and still kept her as friend. I struggled with it for a while until New Year's Eve she called at 2 a.m. I was next to him and he flips his phone and states ';Oh...it's Sunny!'; He then went back to bed. When he realized how it affected me he told her not to keep in touch with for the meantime. She called and yelled at him and was really upset. He assured me that it was over.
Two weeks ago my boyfriend bumped into her at the university. They talked and she had a boyfriend. But within a few days she calls and told my boyfriend she wants to break up with her boyfriend. My boyfriend even gave her advices but went back on his words. I was very upset and told him how I felt. In front of me he called her and ended the friendship, deleted the number, and assured me how much he loved me and he doesn't want to see me cry. After he did that, she wrote him a message on facebook stating, ';Well...fine! Be a looser! You're not invited my graduation, family gatherings, any special of that sort. Plus, good luck with conquoring your fears! I can't believe you've became a jerk and especially someone I love as much as my family.'; It was last night my boyfriend finally realized why it affected me so much because his ex wasn't over him and expected them to be together. He deleted her profile and assured me it's over for real.
I trust my boyfriend. I need to know if me being upset was alright. I mean I didnt' want to make it hard but I've been so patient with them being friends and understood their past. I do have the right to express my feelings, right? To make sure he understood me? Sometimes I feel his feelings still linger around her. However, I need to really get over it and try to make things better for him and me. I love him so much but I'm always worried what this ex would do to him if I'm not next to him. I told my boyfriend if she was a true friend, she would have respected him and his decisions and be happy that he is happy. But she came back at him in a rude way. What can I do to get over this whole drama? I'm always afraid she will do something to jeopardize my relationship with him.An Ex-girlfriend in the Relationship?
I understand you and I'm impressed with how well you have taken it all.
She is needy and clingy and she's clinging to someone she shouldn't be clinging to. He should know better than letting her cling since there is a difference between being a friend and an ex-boyfriend. This is not about you being able to trust him or not it's about what's comfortable within a new relationship. There is a line that a new girlfriend draws.
When it comes to expressing feelings I'll share a little about how I shared mine... You see my husband thought it was a great idea to invite his ex-girlfriend to help him clean the house when I was visiting my parents with our newborn son. After yelling at him over the phone for a couple of days I went back home but refused to go into the house until he had cleaned it all to my satisfaction. For days after that I had him cleaning things that I felt wasn't clean enough. Since that day some 18 years, 3 weeks and 2 days ago he's never mentioned her by name again, but he does mutter about my ';jealousy issues'; now and then.
You are doing fine... really. Ex-girlfriends are the last people you want as your boyfriends friends, it's natural. And she should not only understand it she should know that it is so, I bet that if it was the other way around then she would have made sure that he wasn't friends with the ex.
You have the right to express how you feel, you have the right to draw the line that shows what's OK and not. He might not agree but he should still be able to understand and respect it. Now he needs to earn your trust back by showing that he respects your feelings. You need to let it take some time so that things settle down before you decide for further actions or not.An Ex-girlfriend in the Relationship?
Thank you Kadri for responding to my question. He knows now that he made a mistake because of my constant reminders that I take his words and actions to heart. He's trying very hard to win my trust. All I want is this Sunny C Bang girl to move on and let him be happy. Because he is with me. Thanks!
Report Abuse
No comments:
Post a Comment