I ended a relationship today with a married man. I love him was it wrong to do this in an email?

This man and I have been dating now for 7 years. He has financially taken care of me and my children during the last 5 years. He proposed to me 3 years ago and he still did not leave his wife. I feel bad like I owe him for all that he has done so I am trying to be nice. Before I send this to him, can I get some advice on the email. I do not want to do this in person.





THIS WAS THE EXACT EMAIL I HAVE SAVED TO SEND HIM:





I am sorry that I have put you through all of this. I can't help how I feel and I just don't feel that this is right for me anymore. I really have to get my **** straight. This was never the right thing for either of us, you were looking for someone and I needed someone. We found comfort in each other. I want you to know that you have done nothing wrong. It's me who is in the wrong. We together should have done something years ago. I have an overwhelming remorse for what I have done to the twins. I have exposed them to all of this and they will always remember what I have done. Those memories will not be good ones and I cannot take them back. The lies I asked the to tell for me and secrets that I asked them to keep. You cannot imagine how terrible I feel for what I have done too them, That is something I will live with forever. Something they will share with their spouses and I am ashamed. I did tell the twins you bought them about season tickets to the football games for their birthday. I hope you still consider giving them to him. If not then I understand and they will have to as well. All these years, I have robbed them of a good father figure because of my own selfish needs and now they are older and that ship has sailed. Not that you did not do everything for them, you did and you would have been an excellent example on them. All this time I wasted, wanting to feel a certain way and just never got there. I will better myself. I am not just going to sit around and complain about not having any skills, I will go out and get some. I am sorry that after everything I you have done for us I have to ask you for your help financially still. It's just the reality, you know I cannot make it on my own right now. If I had to I could but it would really help me a lot if you could at least help me for July and hopefully I will not have to ask for your help after that. I would like to take you to dinner when I get a job and pay for dinner myself. That would be a good feeling. I really want to be happy, I think that means that I have to be without you right now. I'm sorry if that's harsh, but that is the reality of it. I have been thinking about this for a long time. When I came back from my trip, I wanted to talk to you about it then. I just couldn't find the words to say what needed to be said. I still feel the same way about you, I love you, I need you, I want you, but you were never mine. You belong to someone else and you have a family. I have never even met your son. If your family knew what you were doing it would shame them. Your son would never think of you the same, it's just a matter of time before you get caught. Every time we walked in a restaurant together, you walk in front of me to make sure that no one you know is in there. There are so many factors. Maybe are age difference that never seemed like a big deal actually is. I mean in ten years I will be in my early forties and you will be in your mid sixties. That is a big difference. I want to share my whole life with someone. Again, I am just pouring my emotions and my thoughts out for you to read. In the end there is so many things that I can say and I will never convince you that I really do care about you but I do. I just don't know if I care in the way that I should care. We never had that chance, and now I don't want you to take the chance of leaving your wife and then for me to realize that I don't feel a certain way about you. I know I love you, I know you are my soul mate, I know I want to marry you. I just don't know that I have the right feelings for you to allow you to ruin your family over. Loving someone as family and having an intimate relationship are two different things. I know I love you as family but I have never had a relationship with you. Not a real one anyway. Not one based without someone else always involved. I am sorry. I will give you everything you want when I see you. Including your diamond ring back. I know my grammar is terrible and I hope you can follow it. Sorry :( HAPPY FATHERS DAY. You really are the best father that I have ever known. Your son is very lucky to have you. When you are ready to talk then call me.





Please tell me before I email this letter if it sounds okay? I know this is personal but no one knows me and I am just looking for some opinions?I ended a relationship today with a married man. I love him was it wrong to do this in an email?
I don't know your reasons for still needing his ';help'; until July, but I'm sure the two of you know the reasons. There IS ONE THING I don't agree with, %26amp; that's the comment you made on taking him out to dinner when you're able. I FEEL, that once you ';break it off';, that you should COMPLETELY ';break it off'; %26amp; NOT see one another again period. To me, this is NOT COMPLETELY ';cutting the cord'; so to speak. IF you're ';breaking it off completely';, then I feel THAT is what you SHOULD DO. No turning back, no strings attached in ANY WAY whatsoever. To me you're sending ';mixed messages'; to him. One that it's over, but another that you'll ';talk'; to him. I feel either you break it COMPLETELY, or not at all. He ';proposed'; to you, BUT he did NOT leave his wife. This tells me he had/has NO intentions of breaking up his family. I would say for the sake of BOTH OF YOU, BREAK IT 100% %26amp; LEAVE IT COMPLETELY. Put things in the PAST, leave them there, %26amp; give yourself a chance of starting a whole NEW beginning for yourself...Best to you...:)I ended a relationship today with a married man. I love him was it wrong to do this in an email?
just walk away and dont look back. it is going nowhere.
why go to all that trouble, start your life over
You wrote this for a reason and if you still want to send it, then do so. I don't think it is to harsh, breaking up with someone is never easy to do. So, send it and don't look back. Forget about those who have answered you by judging you for the adultery...move on with your life and find that special person you are looking for.
This is WRONG! Married or not, this man supported your family for 5 years--he deserves much better than a ';poor me,poor me'; crappy email!





You are a parasite. You have set around for 7 years and let someone else take care of you. All the while without bothering to get any skills that would help you provide for yourself. You now tell him you no longer want him but could he please leave his wallet on table before he goes--how pathetic is that. You need to get a job and start taking care of your children. Skills or no skills...I know lots of women who provide for their families doing unskilled labor--however, based on your email, I'm sure that's beneathe you.





So his age has caught up with you...or has it...he's your soul mate...or is he...you are toying with this man. Throw him out then reel him in....I don't want you but I want to take you to dinner.... Give me a break lady!





Both of you are say, pathetic people! You for being ';kept'; for seven years while continually lying to your children. And him for being an idiot while cheating on his wife and family. You both need counseling and QUICK!
Doing any kind of communication face to face with issues such as this..is a better way of doing things..let it go..confronting the issues at hand face to face..seems wise to do..then let it go..adultery hurts everyone involved
i personally do not agree with anything that you have done here. i would be furious if this was my husband. but..... you cant help the way that you feel, and he is a guilty party in this as well. this is not all your fault.





now to the letter. if you are sincerly breaking up with him, then you shouldnt be asking him for anymore help. because you still need him. when you ask for more help, he then will still have power over you.


and if this is really over, then you shouldnt be talking to him, or seeing him for a LONG LONG LONG while. so that you and him can be competly over eachother.





just my thoughts
ur seekign opinions...i man yeah we may mess around ehre on Y?A alot but most of your answers will be that you are a disrespectful homewrecking selfish person.





What if he was your husband doing this to you?
That email is for you not him.


Just end it.
Send the letter!! Break this off ASAP. He's a married man and he's not going to leave his wife and kids for you. Your someone on the side and that's all your ever going to be. Get yourself and your kids on the right path and find someone who's 1. Not married 2. Closer to your age and 3. Ready to be there for you and your kids
1. Don't look back





2. Find a good church





3. Move on
There are a few things that I want to say to this, but we'll start with the basics.





1) If he has been with you for seven years, regardless of his marital status, he deserves a face-to-face. Period.





2) No, he is not ';right';. He's married. He refused to sacrifice that marriage for YOU, and you, knowing he was married, should never have expected that to happen, regardless of what he told you.





3) At this point, it is not appropriate for you to be asking for his financial help. If you are not with him, you need to be self-reliant.





4) End it. Don't talk to him. IF he loves you, he'll be back, WITHOUT the wife.
i think it is perfectly fine to end this relationship in email.


YOU DON'T OWE HIM ANYTHING.





having said that, your letter is overly nice and warm and apologetic.


Nand way too long. i had a hard time getting through it - so will he. make it short and to the point. DO NOT poor your heart out - you are ending this, no need to come to a closure on all issues.





i would shorten it to one small paragraph.
I think your both horrible shamful disrespecting people. Don't you ever think of anyone but your self! Maybe you shouldn't be a ****ing homewrecker.
Married. Man. He was never yours to begin with, and if he was cheating on his wife for that long with you, he'll cheat on you, too. You don't need that. You've got boys to raise into fine and decent men, and they don't need the example of someone without enough conviction to do what is right.
how would you feel about having the relationship ended in an email. It was a cowedly act of what you did, and you should confront him face to face, anything less is disrespectful.
Not ending it face to face is pretty harsh
No, you should not send this email, you should end this in person. Before he comes over have everything ready to give him, including the ring. Stop asking him for help, get out there and get a job, and move on with your life. You have messed up enough, not only for his family, but your family as well. What an example you have set, and I do hope that his family never finds out about you, what a disappointment he will be to his children. You say you love him, but to you he is just a meal ticket. He is someone that made your life easier. and you didn't care what it would do to his family. To him you are the excitement he doesn't feel at home, he could, but then it would mean that he would have to work at making his family life better, and he doesn't want to do that. You really deserve each other. Both losers.
First, its tacky to end a relationship this way and second e-mails can be traced. Are you wanting his wife to find it? Are you wanting to end the relationship or just be a drama queen? He is NOT your soul mate, he is a cheating husband who has broken his vows to some one that really loves him. Dating married men is wrong. If you want to end your relationship, tell him face to face. Your taking a cowards way out.
WAY too long
First...your a skank because he was married when you were with him. You homewrecking whore. He has a son for god's sake. WTF is wrong with people like you?





2nd email is the wimpest, most spinless way to break up with someone. You have no backbone, and seeing that, it doesn't surprise me that you would date a married man.





Grow up.
YOu ended it for a reason. Keeping it a clean break avoids regrets for a life time.
I read the whole thing. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. You start out sounding like your moving on and end by asking him for money. HES A MARRIED MAN. Are you aware that you can not be engaged to a married man? He just did that to appease you, so he can continue to buy you off. Your not doing anything to end this whole huge mess. If you want to really help your children, you will get an education, get help from your family and get a job. He is not a good dad if he is a cheater. Nor is he a good man. He is a selfish, inconsiderate, user.


Wake up.
Normally I would say never break up in an email, but if he is married, it's ok. You are right - you need to get your stuff straight and stop messing around with a married man. Think of his wife and kids.
My only response is stick to it.... and it is not going to be easy. You did what you had to do for yourself and your children. I really hope everything works out well for you.





lots of hugs
You sound very natural, your true self %26amp; you are willing to return everything he has given to you; you do care about his family so this letter sounds very nice. He is older then you, and this is why he will understand and accept your information. If he was a younger man then issues might of come into play. Can I have your number? I'm kidding:) Your letter is acceptable. Rest is up to you.
Well, the thing is you both messed up by getting and staying in this relationship for 7 years. But, I should think you act your age and have a face to face. Yes it's hard but you really know that that's the right thing to do. By the way the letter is pretty good just say it in person and be honest
I stopped reading this when you told him that he has done nothing wrong? Damn, adultery is wrong....HELLO. Wow