How can you love someone, but still want to ';test the waters';?

I am struggling with this situation because, in my opinion, if you TRULY love someone, then there is no need for you to fear a committed relationship. You would be happy and content with simply being with the one that you're with.





(I am 20, and my ex is 21...we were together for almost 2 years. Things were wonderful. He told me he loved me, and wanted to make me his wife one day. Then suddenly, he enters a new enviornment, new females start paying him ALOT of attention, and he ends up kissing someone else. I break up with him, but take him back 2 weeks later. He then tells me that he loves me immensely, but doesn't think he's ready for a ';serious'; relationship right now and never wants to end up cheating on me again. He really wants to be friends bc he says he doesn't want me out of his life.)





Now I'm confused because I feel like he never truly loved me. I just don't understand. If he loved me like he says he does, then he'd be with me, right? Any opinions or similar experiences?How can you love someone, but still want to ';test the waters';?
This man is only 21 and has been in a relationship with you since he was 19, so it is not surprising that he wants to 'test the water'. This is the sign of a healthy young male entering adulthood.


Generally speaking, when an older person portrays a desire to 'test the water' it usually means he does not love you enough to commit to you. In this instance however, I do not believe that is the case. It is NORMAL and HEALTHY for maturing people to want to explore the unknown, particularly when it comes to life commitments that will affect your everyday living.


From what you have said, he sounds like a genuine person trying to be honest. He says he loves you and this quite possibly is true, but how is he to know for sure unless he tests his feelings?


I say stand back, agree to be friends, ensure you take the opportunity to date others as well, and if you get back together it should be a much stronger relationship.


The fact that your man is being honest with you is a very good basis for any future relationship down the track, be it either as lovers or friendship. This man obviously respects you as he is being honest with you, therefore try and respect his need to explore his options honestly and openly as aforestated, because if he realises he wants to spend the rest of his life with you, you are unlikely to have issues pertaining to infidelity down the track.


Best of luck.How can you love someone, but still want to ';test the waters';?
Love comes in degrees and stages of phases.
True if he really loved you he wouldn't have left. But he is young and is just starting to experience life, and doesn't want to miss out on anything. Love at 21 is so different from love at 27. I would suggest you move on and experience life too, you may find someone who loves you and knows what he wants.
TELL HIM THE TRUTH ... ITS TO HARD TO BE FRIENDS RIGHT NOW... AND WHEN YOU ARE READY TO TALK TO HIM THEN GO FOR IT. ITS NOT EASY TO BE FREINDS WITH SOMEONE WHO HURT YOU .. BECAUSE OBVIOULSY ';FREINDS'; DONT HURT FRIENDS. HONESTLY I'M PRETTY SURE HE LOVED YOU OR DOES LOVE YOU . BUT HE DID LACK LOVE IF THAT MAKES ANY SINCE TO YOU . GIVE IT TIME TIME IS THE INGREDIENT FOR EVERYTHING BUT FROM PAST EXPERIENCE AS MUCH AS IT HURTS YOU LET IT BE AND LEAVE IT ALONE AND MAKE IT NOTHING MORE THAN FRIENDS, ESPECIALLY IWTH THE GUILT IF YOU GUYS DO GET BACK TOGTHER THAT HE WILL HAVE, AND THAT WILL TRUULEY NEVER LEAVE HIM IF HE LOVES YOU. AND THE PAIN THAT YOU WILL HAVE TO GO THROUGH. MY BEST ADVICE IS TO LEAVE IT ALONE BEFORE YOU FALL FURTHER WERE YOU CANT LIVE WITH HIM AND YOU CANT LIVE WITHOUT HIM . BECAUSE WHEN YOU IN THAT SCENERIO AS MUCHAS HE HURTS YOU YOULL STILL STAY. SO LIEK I SAID FREINDS WOULD BE THE BEST ANSWER AT THIS POINT
Exs are exs for a reason. I don't think a relationship between you two is possible, unless you can forget what he did the first time
You are doing the right thing. He cant have it all and its good you are taking control.


If he loved you, he WOULD be with you and only you. Hes not ready to settle down and I give him respect because he seems like hes been honest.


I have been in this situation before only my man wasnt so honest and was happy to try and live a double life. I left and couldn b friend as it was painful, like you said. Then I realised there is more out there and he wasn the one in the end.


Explain to him one day you may b able to b friend but right now it is too painful. Who knows your absence may make him realise what you both had.
Sorry he doesnt love you...what he did is that he grew out of love with you....it sucks i know it happened to me it's going to take some time so you can heal and it's going to hurt so much knowing that he's not there anymore but just give it some time and seriously it might take like a couple weeks or even a couple years...but eventually you'll get over it...go out with your friends have fun dont spend time alone....
you're both way too young to know what true love is.