i was with my ex husband for 32 years when we split out of the blue with no warning its odd at first because everything you know and do was done together so everywhere you go alone is full of memories but like berevement time does heal and you will turn it around but dont beat yourself up give it time and it will be right in the end
look after yourself and your child and i wish you all the very best of luckIs it possible to get over a long term relationship?
Sorry forgot the r in you.
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Unfortunately it might take longer to get over this man because you have a son together and it really is impossible to not see him. You could probably analyse this till you are blue in the face but it is over. All the ';what went wrong'; is not going to change anything. I bought a book, ';How to Survive a Loss of a Love'; that really helped me out when the man I thought I would spend the rest of my life with decided after 3 years that I wasn't worth it. This man who left you decided long before he told you that he didn't want to spend the rest of his life with you. You were not allowed the same luxury of knowing sooner. That is so damn painful to hear but the sooner you accept this the sooner you will heal. We all have different ways of getting thru this and unfortunately it seems like forever before it does but it will. Letting go of someone you so deeply love is the hardest but once it does it is amazing how suddenly free you will feel. I can promise you this, once you have moved on you will look back and will see the problems you both had and you will know that everything works out for the best. Good luck
not fully know
but the thing that helps me is know that you just aren't right for that person .
best of luck to you
It is possible to get over a long term relationship. It has probably taken you longer because to come to terms with things as it was a bolt from the blue and you weren't ';prepared'; for it. I know it sounds strange but quite often we actually know deep down there are problems in a relationship and sometimes the end is a relief and we look forward to a new start but in your case it sounds like he made a sudden decision. Would it help if you talked to him - say to him that you don't want to put pressure on him but to help you come to terms with the end, could he tell you why things changed for him. You may find it hurtful but you may get some closure from it. Sometimes, it's nothing to do with you - it's them and nothing you could do would change their mind. Start to try and enjoy your life and think about the future again - sometimes it is easy to get so wrapped up in a love lost we don't get on with our lives. Because of your son, you stil have contact with him and this often makes things more difficult. Just try to be positive - you will get over this and move on.
Yes, it's possible to get over a long-term relationship. Millions of people do it every day. As I was going through my divorce, I was astonished with the support and understanding I received from people; from the personal stories they shared with me I realized that nearly everyone had had some very traumatic relationship experiences that they had put behind them. My mom admitted to trying to commit suicide after her first marriage fell apart... But she eventually recovered, met my dad, and had two kids (my brother and I); my parents are still married, and are getting ready to celebrate their 35th anniversary. My dad told me the story of how his first marriage ended; he was out of town on a business trip, and instead of coming home to his wife and son he came home to an empty apartment - she left, took the kid and all their possessions, and moved to her parents' house in another city while he was away. People get over this stuff every day; you just have to make an effort, for yours and your child's sake. At some point, you have to stop asking why he had walked out, and stop wishing for the things to be the way the used to, because they never will be. You can't recover what was lost, but you CAN build a whole new life for yourself, and you CAN find happiness. Draw strength from your friendships, family, your social network; don't let yourself become isolated. Focus on yourself and your child. Try to meet new people. If you continue feeling down and depressed, make an appointment with a mental health professional; perhaps you need some extra help in the form of medication or counseling. Whatever you do, don't just wallow in self-pity for the rest of your life; you can, and will, get over it. Good luck.
Well you chose him as a comfort zone and a rebound guy, not as a permanent relationship. That attitude at the beginning may very well have determined the ending. For one thing you weren't being terribly choosy because you didn't think you were going to be investing that much in this guy, also he may very well have read your emotional intent at the time as well. If he never felt all that important or loved by you except as the guy who was there to prop you up and get you through the hard times then it's not a stretch to think that he didn't think the relationship was all that important either.
On the other hand, things developed to the point where the two of you decided to have a child together, so you must have gotten pretty serious. He doesn't sound like much of a man if he would walk away from his own child, it's hard for me to fathom what's going through his head.
Because you do have a child together, there really isn't going to be an easy way for you to 'move on', unless this is a total scumbag who is completely walking away from his own kid (in which case you're much better off without him). But if he's a normal guy, then the two of you are going to be seeing each other for the rest of your lives as he continues to be in the child's life.
I can't speculate why he left, there aren't enough details. Were you unkind to him, or did he feel ignored/unloved? Or did he find someone else, have an affair and move on? I'm sorry I really don't know. His actions don't make sense, need more details to answer.
Most of the time LETTING GO is the hardest thing that a normal person can do. Your a STRONG WOMAN put that in your head, i used to be like that, my fianceuse to be like that and he has 100% hold of me, im all over him, and it didn't help me at all. I feel not appreciated, sad, my self esteem was really low, all i want is to be with him and for him to be satisfied, but you know what i learn. I will be more happy pleasing myself than chasing him. I went for vacation for 6 months when i get back my fiance changed he appreciated me more and love me more. Be strong, there's a lot of fish in the sea, read WHY MEN LOVE BITCHES that book is really good. My girl friend advise me to read taht book too and it help me alot... I hope this can help..
GOOD LUCK
avoid him at all costs if possible, move away, there are many people who could make you happy.
some things r just really not meant2b ...searching4the answer, that u may never get, wont solve anything...how long it takes2get over any loss is really up2u...if u make up ur mind, u can do anything..but it's hard%26amp;u hav2keep workin on it....
eventually, it does gets easier%26amp;the strong emotions u hav right now will fade
You can get over a long term relationship, i was with my ex for over two years and when he left i was heart broken. Graduly over time i started to feel less pain till it got to the point that i was over him. You need to take care of your self, try and see friends and family, get support from family and friends. Take it one day at at time then you won't feel so overwhlemed. Write down three postive things a day, treat your self for example to a bubble bath. Try to stop thinking about getting back together with him, and start looking towards yours and your daughters future, you will get there
you need to find out what was wrong with the relationship. not with you. its hard to not feel as though something is wrong with you, but the image of the relationship you had was not the same he had. The thing is that he was able to process leaving when you didn't. Try to remember what was going on a few months prior to the break up and focus on what was going on. It will be hard, but to truly let go you need to revisit hard times and take a look at what was going on. Your feelings might turn to hate, and you might realize that why would you want someone that could just leave. been in the same shoes as you and I am slowly beginning to realize the relationship. We all want to believe that the other person will be unconditional, but only family will love you that way.
You are wasting valuable days of your life pondering over him . As Judge Judy would say ';put a period and move on.';
you need closure...you still love that guy and hope he loves you too...talk to him and see if he still has any feelings and why he left you
i am in the exact same suituation as you, its really had and after a year i am still in love with my ex, i see him all the time he is my rock, but he has moved on, you will probably always will love him but you can love more that one person in life. the best way to get over it is with friends go out and pull, haveing fun is the only way to let him go.
hey
i think u have answered the question yourself, this relationship u where in was comfortable, u felt secure and loved, and suddenly it all went, and now u feel lost and stuck in a rut.
You can definatly get over it and move on with your life, i promise you that, try not to dwell on the question of how could he end it, and focus more on the fact it is over, and u have a whole new life ahead of you to plan for
he must of had his reasons, and just think its better to be with someone that really wants to be there, and not someone who doesnt really want to but is stayin out of habbit or whatever
concentrate on u and your child, it sounds as though u have been in a relationship for a long time so maybe now its time to focus on you, and start to get to know u better, i know that sounds corny, but u have to start realising we dont need men in our lives to be happy, start to do things u enjoy, take up a hobby u have always wanted to do, plan holidays and things for you and your child, and always remember life goes on, and you will get through this, you heart may be a little damaged, but one day im sure someone will fix it again, so enjoy your own company, and remember, whats meant to be will be :) good luck xxxx
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