Racism, Criticism, and Stereotypes in a Relationship?

This is a question for those who have ever deeply loved someone given there all and paid more then they should have for one person who would not do the same.





in 2009 I was a happy man in love with a Asian boy he was 20 and I was 23 at the time; I'm Mix with 3 races mainly Black, White, and Indian, so mostly in everyone ones else eyes I'm consider Latino but I'm mainly black. The relationship was great at first he was shy and very cute to the eyes me on the other hand I was more bland but fun and funny he considered me to be cuter in the face, we loved each other for a about 3 months I gotten many things for him a 600$ PS3 games and other things he loved I didn't care I only cared for him and his happiness, but when I needed to leave and return home for a short time to help my family but I had to go out of state to do so.





That's when the problems started!





You see my former lover is a shut in, he has no disability he just would not leave his home unless he wanted to, so he barely has any friends and the ones he dose have are much older but keeps him company, me on the other hand never really connected with them, well leaving from NY to ATL a week later my lover calls me and starts acting a little funny, he started to wonder about our relationship, wondering if it's real like someone was feeding words into his head, then he tells me that his friends spoken about me believing I was never good for him, but my former was happy with me at first he loved me truly and now only after a week he turns on me over the words of one friend which was his best friend and he was white I may add.





So on a list this would be #3 considering to be Racism, and Criticism.





So my Boyfriend is taking the words of someone else and not the words of himself saying that he loved me. But his friend asked him a question, ';Do you really love him because you love him or do you love him because you are lonely?';





He never really told me that answer, but instead gave me his favorite 3 words ';I don't know';





Ya me





I was finally able to calm him down after a few weeks of fights and disagreements; I finally put my foot down and told him that for now on your friends are to stay out of our Relationship. Yeah that lasted for like a week but after a few months I just stop caring about what his friends had to say and worried more about how he feels and gave him time away from me, I was trying to be a good boyfriend and believe me that was a bad idea.





he finally calls and lets me know that he wants to end the relationship over the feeling that he dose not love me anymore, over time I found out he dose still but won't admit it as he tried to end it by saying, ';how can too people love each other if their this far apart?'; or '; we're just not compatible'; and my favorite of all time '; How can a Black guy be dating a Asian guy its just not right I should be dating a white guy not a black one.';





So on a list this would be #2 considering to be Racism, and Stereotypes





Over time we just stayed friends because I still loved him and I knew he still had feelings for me as well, but after we both found new partners we still had conversations but nothing to deep, he always felt awkward speaking to me and I was always the ok one in the relationship/friendship deal, but things still went downward as he started to rejected me more and more, stating that '; I'm seeing someone and I should not even be talking to you'; like we're in high school or '; I speck to my newest lover every night, but I only want to speck to you like once every month'; as if you have a law place on you for no reason because he feels like giving it to you just to anger you.





but the worse by far is when your former lover lies and says “I don't hate you” but calls you a stalker and wish death upon you, while bragging about his new love just to make you feel jealous and at the same time being called stupid by a person you don't even know that is holding the one you once loved.





So on a list this would be #1 considering to be Criticism, and Stereotypes





2 nights ago I spoken to my former one last time to check on him after his father died R.I.P later that night we gotten into a argument about me not wanting to know about his new love, and I only wish to say hello and see if everything is fine, he continually rub his BF in my face till I had enough and hung up the phone in his face, later that night I sent my last words of kindness forgiving him of all that he done to me and goodbye hoping that I would be the better man and sometimes I wonder should that have been a letter of hate.





At this point I fear love, I fear people, I fear even saying hello without being rejected or having to buy a guy or girl expensive things just to hear them say I love you.





Right now I am no longer a kind and caring person, so goes the saying ';Nice Guys Finish Last'; right now I could careless for anyone because the constant foulness that is a relationship I'm more afraid of being heartbrokRacism, Criticism, and Stereotypes in a Relationship?
I did not see any racism in what you wrote. I have no idea where that's coming from. He's fallen out of love with you. I'm sorry. I know it sucks big time but I don't think he broke up with you because of your race. As I read your post I kept waiting to read something that had something to do with racism and I just don't see it.


He's probably bad mouthing you to his new lover because his new lover may be insecure.


I think it would be in your best interest to stop talking to these people who are telling you these things because I don't think they are your friends and they're only hurting you.


Don't become mean and bitter. You'll find someone who loves you and who you'll love back. Right now you're in a lot of pain and want to lash out or close yourself in and that's totally normal. But have faith. Let yourself heal. Cry as much as you need to. But don't turn your back on someone else who may want to love you and make you happy.


((((hugs))) You sound so sad. I'm so sorry.Racism, Criticism, and Stereotypes in a Relationship?
Well you are heartbroken so learn what you can from that experience and how it feels, it will make you a more complete person. More forward or get left behind, that's the way the world works amigo. Let go of that guy and carry on.





Let yourself become bitter and you'll just be a bitter person. It won't prove anything to anyone or bring you anything desirable.