Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Why is someone's love mistaken as some sort of a weakness?

I have this personal experience of mine with almost everyone I try to nicely, respectfully and lovingly interact, especially as a man-woman relationship. The moment you give them space enough, you are subjected to abuses, disrespect, blame-game and what not. Obviously I had to end up telling them in return that I'm not some weak or a trash bag for any of your previous life's baggage. But the question that I wonder about is why is our love mistaken as some sort of our weakness?





About my own take about love, here's what I think;





Like many lies, love is considered to be just another one by many whose hearts have been broken. There's a difference between love of two strangers and the love of our loved ones i.e. kids, parents or siblings. Someone being a stranger in our life, creates an enormous amount of expectations, hopes and desires while the same is never applied on our own loved ones. We'd be so much ready to expect issues and forgive our own loved ones but to that stranger, it would be never easy or sometimes impossible. Since you can't stop looking for your own love, hence you might carry the same hurt and un-forgiveness into your next relationship without you knowing.





And obviously the next one is easily going to notice it and fail, hence the cycle may continue until one fine day you either stop believing in love at all or you bring yourself enough inner strength to forgive your own self for the very first heart-break. Cause it is a universal principal that one can't clap without two hands. We must recognize and admit that we got some issues too. Otherwise the power of love can tame even the worst person on earth. Dont' blame love, it is innocent, completely selfless thing which brings nothing but beautiful and soulful feelings to everyone around us. Whenever blaming your own issues, you need to be careful. Cause none of us have permanent issues. We can slowly, but surely get rid of them so that we can become a better person not only for our loved ones but for the sake of another stranger person whose hopes and desires are that much attached with us.





Hopefully I am not sounding here as if trying to change someone into something which s/he is not. All of us are born with some eternal qualities and some uniqueness (never issues). Some of our environment, friends and family's factors can paint a picture of ourselves which might not be true reflection of ourselves. It is a great adventure to know your own self before setting out to know someone else.





With knowledge, comes greater responsibilities. When you've known yourself enough that you can utter right words at right moments, you'd be surprised to see yourself becoming a magnet for everyone around. No matter how introvert type of personality you got, you'd be always surrounded by people who'd start having expectations from you which, at times, you might feel as if being pushed against wall. Then you'd set out to find space. However, due to our own biological and emotional needs, we'd again end up looking for that space in a stranger person. In other words, you'd never ever be able stop attaching desires, expectations and hopes with someone out of yourself.





How do you resolve this dilemma? How do you find your own space? Being lonely is not a solution cause that is an impossible one for any emotionally healthy person. I think about it a lot. Trying to find the answer to it. But probably I may never find the answer by my own self. Maybe there is someone who'd help me find the answer. If that is the case, then will my answer remain valid only until that person is with me? What if that person leaves me too? Will I try to find another answer with another one until the day I'd stop having any belief or trust in any types of answers out there? I wonder what will happen and whether I'd be able to love someone selflessly without having her presence around me, without wanting or desiring anything?





I wonder... yes, I wonder a lot. And that is who I am and my self-summary.Why is someone's love mistaken as some sort of a weakness?
Wow dude, I don't even know where to start. You clearly have way too much inner struggle. When you over analyze this stuff like this, I can't imagine what the girls must feel like when they are with you. They must feel like the weight of the world is on the shoulders of the relationship.





If you need guidance or someone to help you organize your thoughts, seek counseling to get your head right. But when it comes to love and females. Keep it simple and stop doing what you are doing.





Girls come and they go. When you get a good one, keep her and live life to the fullest. Stop over analyzing and smothering the person. Life isn't that complicated.
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