How do you end a relationship without causing too much hurt?

ive been with my boyfriend for almost four years and im 18 years old. this past year ive come to realise that were just not compatible anymore.





ive told him how i feel plenty of times and the reasons why in the hope that, he could somehow change. But i know that i cant expect someone to completely change themselves. Its not major changes, just little things. He always says things can work out but he hasnt made any effort. He thinks he loves me and that i love him, but deep down i think he knows i dont love him like i used to but wont acknowledge it? because i am so frustrated ive not even been treating him nicely for months, but that still wont make him recognise our relationship is in ruins.





hes a good person, but hes become more like a brother. we have NOTHING in common, every little thing he does irritates me, hes immature.





youre probably thinking, just leave him, but hes a very emotional person and hasnt had an easy life, with little love shown to him. This is the reason i think, that hes scared to end the relationship and be on his own. i tried to end it last year, but it was a disaster. he tried to kill himself and in a way stalked me. its ok saying ill phone the police, but i dont want that to happen, and i dont want to be embarrased in front of my family. stupid excuse, i know.





i would try relationship counselling but i dont know if they would for 18 year olds, even if it is a four yearrelationship.





i know we have a connection and i do get on with him, but we dont get along more of the time. its very rare we have a good day. we only see each other at weekends but that doesnt help, we still argue.





what can i do to either fix the relationship, because there is still love there, or end the relationship without my boyfriend becoming suicidal or depressed? i have nobody to talk to because they all think hes great and were really in love.How do you end a relationship without causing too much hurt?
I'm sorry to say this, but it's you that needs to change....If you say there is still love, then this relationship can grow stronger from this.


It's your point of view.....you have been with him for too long and practically grew up with him, so things become mundane.





You can rekindle that love you had at first. It's not as hard as you may think. You know he is a good person and probably feel too comfortable knowing that he'd never leave you, which takes out the excitement. You now feel like something is missing, so you got bored with him...





Think of all the things about him that you fell in love with.....think back to the beginning of your relationship and recapture those feelings for a moment. Ask yourself how would you feel if he was the one trying to leave you.....would you feel hurt and try your best to keep him?





The next time you see him on the weekend, take the initiative to compliment him and tell him how much you appreciate his faithfulness in your relationship. Tell him you are grateful that he puts up with all your moodiness.....and see if that helps with the arguments.





No matter how he reacts, keep at being positive towards him and you will see him change. That's the secret that many people don't realize....if you want to change someone, then change the way you act and talk to them.....





Work at being friends and rediscover each other in the process. You then can try flirting with him a little here and there. Sometimes you can remind him of special moments you had together....and flirt with him a bit.....Imagine you are meeting again for the first time. (Should be easy since you have grown apart.)





If there is love, then it's worth it.....it takes work and effort to keep the love going....if you try this and still feel like it's going no where, then let him down easily. At least in this way, he will know you gave it your all!





Four years is a lot to throw away.....Good Luck and Best wishes for a happy relationship!How do you end a relationship without causing too much hurt?
Unless it's mutual, there is no way...one party will always be hurt...and if kids are involved it ups the ante...








10 points for your thoughts: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?鈥?/a>
it happens. still be friends.


but you know what always works?





';It's not you, its me.....I just don't like you!';
When you end a relationship, there will always be pain, but dragging it on if you know there is no future there will cause even more pain.





Goodluck
it hurts but it better now then later on .. just do it sorry if i sound mean .. but .. get it over with so you can move on .. good luck.
your better off breaking it off now then waiting, do it now. Good Luck.
sadly it is hard to end without hurt, good luck
please leave him.
You're going to have to tell him your true feelings. Show him your question. Tell him you really think you guys should take a break. Give it a time-frame and re-visit if you want to get back together then. It's going to hurt him. Hopefully he'll be able to accept you as a friend to help him through. It sounds like you're a good person that way.





Good luck to you!!
i would tell him that u want to start over. tell him that you need to evaluate the relationship and you want to save it and the oinly way to do it is to pretend you just met him all over again. and in dping this, be his friend first, let him think that your serious about this and do things that you know he wont like this way he c an be the one to break up with you. maybe if it works, he will see that he doesnt like you and then all will be solved..
The relationship is already ended because you are no longer emotionally involved in it. You will not be able to end it with him without hurting him, but it's in everyones best interest to do so. You must end it soon. Good luck.
We grow at different rates. Human growth and development is a big issue for me. I have researched and it has a ring of truth to it. We change every 7 to 8 yrs. Think if you will, when you were 7 and wrote on the wall, some folk thought that it was cute. When you are 14 and do the same, you are a person that do graffiti.If you are in high school and commit that offense, you will be punished and go to an alternative school. It is the same with life. You need to do what is appropriate at your junction in life. Too me, he acts immature. I think you need to re evaluate your relationship. Are you going to spend the gift that God gave you, life on earth for nothing ? I really think that you need to consider to see a counselor for you. There are students at a nearby college majoring in counseling that will be glad to help you. Too, see a minister. You have your whole life ahead of you. You are too young to be saddled to someone that is not willing to help himself. Live! Live! You are here and young only a short time.
You know what sweetie, you are young only 18 yrs. old and you have already wasted a lot of time with this guy. You tried breaking up with him last year and he couldn't accept it so you stayed with him. Get what I'm saying? Breaking up is always hurtful and I commend you for trying to find a way not to make it any worse. Being that he has a history of stalking and threatening to commit suicide you honestly can't do this alone. Your personal safety comes first. Go to the closest state medical health clinic and ask for info. on mental health clinics. Call make an appt. and start therapy. As far as monies, they either go on a sliding scale or if you have Medi-cal the state will pay for it because you are low income. There are NO excuses for you to stay in a relationship that you don't want to be in. If you really think about it he is holding you emotionally hostage in this so called relationship. Your therapist will guide you with breaking up with him and God forbid if anything happens to you, someone will know the story since you don't want to go to your family. People don't understand that breaking up doesn't mean that anyone is a bad person. It is just that like you said for whatever reasons people change and grow in different directions. Just be honest with him but remember, no matter how sensitive you are to his feelings, it'll still be painful for him. Be firm, make sure there are other people around in case he flips out. Before you break up with him get a therapist for your safety as well. Good luck.....