If you're in love with someone who is in a commited relationship, what would you do?

Say you have this friend of the opposite sex (I'm a girl, he's a guy) and the two of you used to spend like every second of every day together. The flirted with you a lot (but all innocent flirting...nothing ever happened), and you always brushed it off because even though you sorda had a crush on the friend, you weren't ready for a relationship for that person. In the back of your mind though, you secretly always thought that one day, you'd like to marry that person. Then, when you finally decide that you are ready, too much time has gone by and that friend is in a serious relationship. You're both fresh out of college, and you know that it's the time for people to start thinking marriage. You're scared to death that this friend is going to end up marrying the person they are with, but you don't want to be disrespectful of the relationship that your friend is currently in by telling them how you feel. What do you do??





I've been trying to deal with this for a while. For months, I kept hoping that my friend and his gf would break up (I know that's terrible!) so that I could finally tell him how I feel. Now, almost a year has gone by, and they're still together. He and I still talk all the time though, and I desperately need to know if he feels anything for me. I just don't want him to be ';the one that got away.'; Still, I know that a lot of people will advise me that I missed my chance and that now I have to suffer because of it and all that stuff. Maybe that's true, but I don't know. I kinda feel like if I'm this crazy about him and we've been as close as we are for this long, I kinda have the right to know if he feels the same. I mean, I have been in love with him since before he even knew the girl he's dating now.





What should I do? I've thought about bringing it up casually when the two of us are out at dinner or something...like ';I always thought somehow the two of us would end up together, you know...'; kinda making a joke about it, but secretly seeing what he says. Then again, I feel like this is far too serious to make light of bc it might make him feel like he should dismiss what I said. I've also thought about writing a heart felt letter about it all and telling him to read it if or when he ever wants to, so that he'll only open it if HE wants to know.......or maybe I should just tell him, but I don't know if that'd make him mad or seem very selfish because of the girlfriend.





I'm a little frantic right now because I just woke up from a dream that he told me he was proposing to her, and it made me realize that if I'm not careful with my actions, he could certainly slip right through my fingers. I've gotta decide what I'm going to do soon. Otherwise, I may live the rest of my life not knowing.If you're in love with someone who is in a commited relationship, what would you do?
If he's happy with his new girlfriend, you need to leave this alone! He may still have feelings for you, but he clearly sees that you are available, yet he hasn't taken any actions to be with you. I don't recommend that you bring it up because then you appear to be hanging around only to try and get with him. Instead you want to present yourself as a good friend (and that's how he will never slip through your fingers).





Writing a letter is definitely not the right choice since it can be discovered by his girlfriend later on and ultimately be damaging to their relationship.





I don't necessarily know that you have the right to know his feelings either. While you may indeed be crazy about him and have loved before he met his girlfriend, it doesn't change the fact that he is not with you.





What you really need to do is give yourself some space from him and start dating around. While a lot of people do get married out of college, not all do and you certainly don't have to be one of them. There are plenty of single men out there, and plenty you can be happy with, but you have to allow yourself to be happy with someone other than this guy.





It looks like you missed your chance with this guy (I said it looks that way ... that doesn't mean you have), and I definitely would not harbor feelings for him because you are ultimately setting yourself up for disaster. Do yourself a favor and work with this relationship you have with him NOW, which is a friendship. If one day he becomes single, and you are still single then go for it. Until that day comes practice self-control and start looking elsewhere.