Ending a relationship with someone you love? I need some advice?

We have been together for 5 years almost. We recently moved out of my home state for his job promotion. It has been 2 years and I still am having a hard time with the transition. I don't have any friends here either and I know it sounds pathetic. I just have always been someone who prefers to do stuff alone, I don't know why. When we met, he was coming from a bad situation, so we were all we had. When we moved, it seemed like things changed. He started getting friends, and I was still going to school full time, occupying most of my free time with homework (I am 22 nursing student btw). He never would hang out with people, and it was just so foreign to me. I tired to deal with it as good as possible, but he started going out 2 or 3 times a week (for about a month), and he wouldn't come home until after 1, or later at times. He knew it bothered me, but he kept doing it despite how vocal I made my feelings. He recently got a DUI due to this, and I am trying to be there for him, but that little part of me is like, ';I TOLD YOU SO!!!'; I haven't come out and said this, but I had told him many times to not drink and drive. He would say that I was jealous of him having friends, and if I had friends I would be doing the same thing, which is absolutely not true. Now he is so withdrawn and just not himself. He hasn't hung out with anyone for months because of this... and I am sort of feeling like I have to give him so much support, and watch what I say to him because of all the stress he is under. It is like all we do is scream and holler at each other. We fight and he leaves. It seems like our sex life is crappy. I would rather make any kind of excuse than be with him... not all the time, just a lot of the time! I have asked him if we can be romantic first, and maybe he hold me... he says, ';We have been together for 5 years and you want me to be romantic? This is not the first date'; I can understand that he feels like I am not sexually attracted to him and he feels rejected, and he says those things out of anger, but the fact that he still says them kills me. He has even asked me to walk around topless for him or he will leave. When we do have sex it is not passionate at all, there are times when he is just rough and it is not enjoyable. Times in the past he would pressure me for anal sex and leave if I wouldn't give it to him. And when I try to tell him that although I have forgiven him for that, and it did happen months ago, it still does play a part in my thught process when it comes to sex. I have even planned on leaving him many times, but never get the courage because of the distance. He says things to me at times, and he will applogoze later, but it is like, he still says it. I can't get it out of my mind. I just wish he would end it with me sometimes because I will feel guilty leaving him. I know this probably sounds dumb! I am just so confused... I love him very much because we have history, and mutual ties. But it seems like way more work than it is natural, and I get to the point sometimes where I ask why are we wasting our time.Ending a relationship with someone you love? I need some advice?
Even when you know you have to leave, it can be very hard to make the final break. It takes courage to start your life again.





But you really do need to find that courage. You don't have a relationship anymore, you're just going through the motions. You as good as admit it. He doesn't even really seem to like you anymore, let alone love you, and if things go on as they are you will end up hating him.





You're not even really having sex together anymore. He's only concerned with pleasing himself, and you're enduring it rather than enjoying it.





Literally the only thing keeping you there is not wanting to make that final admission that your relationship has failed. But it has, and it's time to move on.Ending a relationship with someone you love? I need some advice?
i woudn't do it, u would maybe regret it





answer mine, need help :(


http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?鈥?/a>
just end it
wow it seems liek your relationship has deteriorated. I would say move on since you are getting emotionally deattached from him. It is hard but that seems to be the only way out. Or else both of you need to work really hard to make this work.
Wow, I could only imagine how conflicted you must feel. I know when people are together for a while the relationship can become stale and then with added pressure you've mentioned about the move and the DUI, etc it's just added stress but at the end of the day you both need to ask yourself one question and one question alone. Do we want this enough to fight for it?





If the answer is yes then none of that other stuff matters. Things will work themselves out but you have to decide if you're going to let it make you or break you. I know that past things are still on your mind and trust me I know the ';I told you so'; itch...but just mentally file it all under ';Yesterday'; and open a new file called ';Tomorrow'; and go from there. Just start over, go on a date, hold hands, do things that new couples do find the little things about each other that you will miss the most and hold on to them. But remember this is not something you can do alone you both have to want it.





My advice would be to get a get well card (with a blank inside) have it addressed to you both and read it together. In it write this: (it's an original I'm writing especially for you :o)





';To err is human, to forgive, divine


Time heals all things


And to heal takes time


But with faith, trust and love


And effort in tune


I have no doubt you two will get well soon';








Signed: Two hearts that love as one.





And then tell him that you really don't like the way things are between you two and you want to start over. You don't want to go back and do over because what's done is done, you just want to start over and deal with whatever comes (I'm rhyming again). Ask him if he thinks this is something he would be willing to do, to put the past in the past and start over; ';get well'; and make sure he understands that he has to want to do it because you can't do it on your own. If he does then make it a point to cherish each other and not let outer forces intrude to the point where they tear you apart. And take it one day at a time...you will still have arguments and such but fight fair and and fight in love and remember that it's a fight and when it's over it's over and move on.





You both have to want it.





Good luck hon!
of course you are going to be confused. ending a relationship with someone you love is one of the hardest things, i feel, in life. although many people are going to ask you ';how can you love him?';, i totally get you. my ex and i used to fight a lot, probably most of the time. then i messed up horribly, and i thought i lost the love of my life. however,i was straight up with her, and we were strong for four months until we broke up (distance, no biggie). moral of the story-you need to sit this guy down, face to face and tell him how you feel about everything, from his late night outings to you walking around topless and being pressured into anal sex. if you are both in love, then things can be fixed. it's not impossible. its possible. and its always hard to leave someone. especially when you have a history. i get you. and take it from the guy's perspective on this one-just sit him down. you need to tell him and once he sees you pouring your heart and feelings, he will understand what he has done. men dont get it sometimes, but when you place the woman they truly love infront of them, throwing their feelings to them, thy will understand. its a lot of work, but what relationship isnt? even if its natural, it will still be work. and talk to him when he is sober...not drunk or even slightly tipsy. no name calling (which im sure you dont do) or none of that. just be honest with him.





if this doesnt work out. then the last option will be to leave him (other than maybe couples' counseling?)... it will be hard, but i think you dont deserve to be treated the way you are being treated. especially with the romance and the sex. women LOVE romance, and he should know that. and sex is supposed to be passionate...not just something you do cause you're bored.





look, im just saying talk to him first and give it some time. if things do not work out and get fixed, then you can find and deserve much much better. i wish you the best of luck.





Chase
Forget about the guy, you have to make yourself happy first. As long as there are no children in the way (because that usually requires a lot of compromise) get out of there and make your own life. Don't worry about him, he'll be fine. And you'll be fine. Right now it has to be about you, you are not an anchor for this man, you are your own ship (if that makes any sense). Please figure out a way to be happy without anyone pressuring you to do anything. I have been in this situation before and when the relationship was finally over, all I felt was relief and joyful freedom. Best of luck to you, sweety!
Romance should never die in a relationship, first date or not, women need to feel loved.


He shouldn't be pressuring you for anything.


And threatening to leave because of it is ridiculous.


You can do far better.


Just tell him, you feel your relationship has ran it's course, and he isn't the same person anymore.


He's treating you more like an object than a girl he loves.


Go and stay with parents or friends.


Concentrate on your studies and make something of your life.


You don't need him dragging you down.
Yea, I would just end it, easier said then done though.Honestly, I think you should read this question you posted out loud to him.See how he reacts see if he talks or looks like he wants to change.Some times all someone needs is a reality check and to know that they do not have you quite like you think.





Hope I helped.