This is a question for those who have ever deeply loved someone given there all and paid more then they should have for one person who would not do the same.
in 2009 I was a happy man in love with a Asian boy he was 20 and I was 23 at the time; I'm Mix with 3 races mainly Black, White, and Indian, so mostly in everyone ones else eyes I'm consider Latino but I'm mainly black. The relationship was great at first he was shy and very cute to the eyes me on the other hand I was more bland but fun and funny he considered me to be cuter in the face, we loved each other for a about 3 months I gotten many things for him a 600$ PS3 games and other things he loved I didn't care I only cared for him and his happiness, but when I needed to leave and return home for a short time to help my family but I had to go out of state to do so.
That's when the problems started!
You see my former lover is a shut in, he has no disability he just would not leave his home unless he wanted to, so he barely has any friends and the ones he dose have are much older but keeps him company, me on the other hand never really connected with them, well leaving from NY to ATL a week later my lover calls me and starts acting a little funny, he started to wonder about our relationship, wondering if it's real like someone was feeding words into his head, then he tells me that his friends spoken about me believing I was never good for him, but my former was happy with me at first he loved me truly and now only after a week he turns on me over the words of one friend which was his best friend and he was white I may add.
So on a list this would be #3 considering to be Racism, and Criticism.
So my Boyfriend is taking the words of someone else and not the words of himself saying that he loved me. But his friend asked him a question, ';Do you really love him because you love him or do you love him because you are lonely?';
He never really told me that answer, but instead gave me his favorite 3 words ';I don't know';
Ya me
I was finally able to calm him down after a few weeks of fights and disagreements; I finally put my foot down and told him that for now on your friends are to stay out of our Relationship. Yeah that lasted for like a week but after a few months I just stop caring about what his friends had to say and worried more about how he feels and gave him time away from me, I was trying to be a good boyfriend and believe me that was a bad idea.
he finally calls and lets me know that he wants to end the relationship over the feeling that he dose not love me anymore, over time I found out he dose still but won't admit it as he tried to end it by saying, ';how can too people love each other if their this far apart?'; or '; we're just not compatible'; and my favorite of all time '; How can a Black guy be dating a Asian guy its just not right I should be dating a white guy not a black one.';
So on a list this would be #2 considering to be Racism, and Stereotypes
Over time we just stayed friends because I still loved him and I knew he still had feelings for me as well, but after we both found new partners we still had conversations but nothing to deep, he always felt awkward speaking to me and I was always the ok one in the relationship/friendship deal, but things still went downward as he started to rejected me more and more, stating that '; I'm seeing someone and I should not even be talking to you'; like we're in high school or '; I speck to my newest lover every night, but I only want to speck to you like once every month'; as if you have a law place on you for no reason because he feels like giving it to you just to anger you.
but the worse by far is when your former lover lies and says “I don't hate you” but calls you a stalker and wish death upon you, while bragging about his new love just to make you feel jealous and at the same time being called stupid by a person you don't even know that is holding the one you once loved.
So on a list this would be #1 considering to be Criticism, and Stereotypes
2 nights ago I spoken to my former one last time to check on him after his father died R.I.P later that night we gotten into a argument about me not wanting to know about his new love, and I only wish to say hello and see if everything is fine, he continually rub his BF in my face till I had enough and hung up the phone in his face, later that night I sent my last words of kindness forgiving him of all that he done to me and goodbye hoping that I would be the better man and sometimes I wonder should that have been a letter of hate.
At this point I fear love, I fear people, I fear even saying hello without being rejected or having to buy a guy or girl expensive things just to hear them say I love you.
Right now I am no longer a kind and caring person, so goes the saying ';Nice Guys Finish Last'; right now I could careless for anyone because the constant foulness that is a relationship I'm more afraid of being heartbrokRacism, Criticism, and Stereotypes in a Relationship?
I did not see any racism in what you wrote. I have no idea where that's coming from. He's fallen out of love with you. I'm sorry. I know it sucks big time but I don't think he broke up with you because of your race. As I read your post I kept waiting to read something that had something to do with racism and I just don't see it.
He's probably bad mouthing you to his new lover because his new lover may be insecure.
I think it would be in your best interest to stop talking to these people who are telling you these things because I don't think they are your friends and they're only hurting you.
Don't become mean and bitter. You'll find someone who loves you and who you'll love back. Right now you're in a lot of pain and want to lash out or close yourself in and that's totally normal. But have faith. Let yourself heal. Cry as much as you need to. But don't turn your back on someone else who may want to love you and make you happy.
((((hugs))) You sound so sad. I'm so sorry.Racism, Criticism, and Stereotypes in a Relationship?
Well you are heartbroken so learn what you can from that experience and how it feels, it will make you a more complete person. More forward or get left behind, that's the way the world works amigo. Let go of that guy and carry on.
Let yourself become bitter and you'll just be a bitter person. It won't prove anything to anyone or bring you anything desirable.
Friday, August 20, 2010
Indecision... I love him...?
He's decided that bringing me into a business is a bad idea (his doctor told him that). I am having difficulty deciding whether or not to end this relationship. I love him to pieces, I really do. He can be affectionate and kind. But his illness drives me bonkers. You never know when he'll blow up over the smallest thing. I feel like we both are working really hard to make this work. He is a bit more than ten years older than me. I sometimes wish we could be friends; like someone you can always count on to be there, or have fun with. But I'd miss him so SO much. But this relationship is exhausting. He keeps saying he wonders if he is holding me back or I should be with someone else or whether he is pulling me in the wrong direction. Then he says he loves me so much, he's not ever had it so good. I think we DO love eachother but is love enough? How do you talk about this stuff? Do you think we both know that we're trying and it is so difficult? He wants to get me an engagement ring.Indecision... I love him...?
Don't accept a ring from him. As it is, you'll be walking on egg shells because of that temper problem he has.Indecision... I love him...?
I don't think ';love'; is enough... If anything, other factors are more important: compatibility, being comfortable with each other, having common goals and dreams, trusting and relying on each other, enjoying each other - you name it. I tend to trust my gut feeling; when it tells me something's not right, I believe it. What people call love sometimes masks a dysfunctional relationship, but your intuition seldom lies; it can point you in the right direction. Sounds like you feel something's wrong in this relationship; it would be wise to listen to your instincts, and not simply brush them aside by saying ';but I love him';. Ask yourself if you are happy with the way things are, and if you are going to continue being happy if they never change; does it feel right to imagine that this is how you're going to feel for the rest of your life? If not, then is there a point to this relationship? It isn't fair to you or him to continue it when your heart is not in it completely. Yes, you might miss him for a few months - but you will miss the wasted time even more if you spend another few years being unhappy before giving up.
No ring! No staying! Move on now! Love is NOT enough!!
This relationship does not sound healthy. One question that comes to mind is, do you have friends/family that you do and can talk to? It kinda sounds as if it's just the two of you and if that's the case then it's truly not healthy at all.
I would suggest therapy/counselling for you both, then that you way the pros and cons but most importantly, search deep within you for that answer. Besides searching within, it is even more important to be OPEN with the answers you get from self-searching. Too many times we go by what we THINK we should do rather than what OUR INSTINCTS/GUTS/COMMON SENSE, etc guides us to do. That is a true trap for us as humans. Somehow I do believe that you already know the answer but you are not prepared to face it.
Another good rule of thumb is to take a step back or away from the situation and try to look at it from an ';outsider's'; point of view. If that were someone else going thru that stuff and they came to you for advice, what advice would you give? Do you think that relationship is worth being in, are you not worth more? Is this the way you want to spend the rest of your life? Has it been worth it thus far? I can only guide you, based on past experience(s), I am no expert and I certainly cannot decide for you, but too many times women settle for so much less than they are truly worth!
Good luck.
PS - It takes a LOT more than love to make a relationship worth it.
Well, you sound like me 3 years ago before I did decide to marry the man you've described above.
After waking up w/ swollen eyes from crying yet again last night and trying to figure out how I'm going to leave my best friend, the person who I used to say ';gets me'; is just almost too much to bare. Yet, as you said, never quite knowing when he will overreact to whatever small offense and constantly walking eggshells is very exhausting -to put it mildly. I know what you're describing all too well. Save yourself - If only you had my hindsight you would see that you cannot fix this man and you will lose yourself in the process if you keep hanging in there.
I'm sorry...you will, just as I have, figure out it is naive to believe love conquers all-it's just not that simple. I don't know the nature of his illness but just the little bit you've said it sounds like narcissistic personality or borderline personality disorder. If so, run for the hills.
The best advice I can give you is that when the bad times are out-numbering the good, don't even think about getting married...(you think you have heartache now!) . And please, don't con vice yourself the good times make up for the bad, b/c I can promise you it won't always be that way. Just remember, a relationship shouldn't feel feel so exhausting and require so much work. You know in your gut somethings just not quite right-don't ignore that, that's your true self.
Don't accept a ring from him. As it is, you'll be walking on egg shells because of that temper problem he has.Indecision... I love him...?
I don't think ';love'; is enough... If anything, other factors are more important: compatibility, being comfortable with each other, having common goals and dreams, trusting and relying on each other, enjoying each other - you name it. I tend to trust my gut feeling; when it tells me something's not right, I believe it. What people call love sometimes masks a dysfunctional relationship, but your intuition seldom lies; it can point you in the right direction. Sounds like you feel something's wrong in this relationship; it would be wise to listen to your instincts, and not simply brush them aside by saying ';but I love him';. Ask yourself if you are happy with the way things are, and if you are going to continue being happy if they never change; does it feel right to imagine that this is how you're going to feel for the rest of your life? If not, then is there a point to this relationship? It isn't fair to you or him to continue it when your heart is not in it completely. Yes, you might miss him for a few months - but you will miss the wasted time even more if you spend another few years being unhappy before giving up.
No ring! No staying! Move on now! Love is NOT enough!!
This relationship does not sound healthy. One question that comes to mind is, do you have friends/family that you do and can talk to? It kinda sounds as if it's just the two of you and if that's the case then it's truly not healthy at all.
I would suggest therapy/counselling for you both, then that you way the pros and cons but most importantly, search deep within you for that answer. Besides searching within, it is even more important to be OPEN with the answers you get from self-searching. Too many times we go by what we THINK we should do rather than what OUR INSTINCTS/GUTS/COMMON SENSE, etc guides us to do. That is a true trap for us as humans. Somehow I do believe that you already know the answer but you are not prepared to face it.
Another good rule of thumb is to take a step back or away from the situation and try to look at it from an ';outsider's'; point of view. If that were someone else going thru that stuff and they came to you for advice, what advice would you give? Do you think that relationship is worth being in, are you not worth more? Is this the way you want to spend the rest of your life? Has it been worth it thus far? I can only guide you, based on past experience(s), I am no expert and I certainly cannot decide for you, but too many times women settle for so much less than they are truly worth!
Good luck.
PS - It takes a LOT more than love to make a relationship worth it.
Well, you sound like me 3 years ago before I did decide to marry the man you've described above.
After waking up w/ swollen eyes from crying yet again last night and trying to figure out how I'm going to leave my best friend, the person who I used to say ';gets me'; is just almost too much to bare. Yet, as you said, never quite knowing when he will overreact to whatever small offense and constantly walking eggshells is very exhausting -to put it mildly. I know what you're describing all too well. Save yourself - If only you had my hindsight you would see that you cannot fix this man and you will lose yourself in the process if you keep hanging in there.
I'm sorry...you will, just as I have, figure out it is naive to believe love conquers all-it's just not that simple. I don't know the nature of his illness but just the little bit you've said it sounds like narcissistic personality or borderline personality disorder. If so, run for the hills.
The best advice I can give you is that when the bad times are out-numbering the good, don't even think about getting married...(you think you have heartache now!) . And please, don't con vice yourself the good times make up for the bad, b/c I can promise you it won't always be that way. Just remember, a relationship shouldn't feel feel so exhausting and require so much work. You know in your gut somethings just not quite right-don't ignore that, that's your true self.
How do you let someone into your life?
I would love to meet someone but find it hard to let my guard down. It takes me a long time to trust someone that's why i usually end up dating friends. I wish I could be more free with my heart and not get so worried i'm going to get hurt but how do I?
I know people who will fall out of one relationship and jump straight into another.
What do you do wait or jump straight back in again?How do you let someone into your life?
Just get to know people as friends first and the rest will follow. I've only dated 2 girls who I wasn't friends with before. Both those relationships were very disappointing and short. You make enough friends and one day somebody will enter your life and take your heart without you even knowing what happened.How do you let someone into your life?
By spending time and getting to know that person for what they are and who you are and your guard will slowing start coming down but one wrong move from them it will go up so quick so be carefully and take it slow you will love again, just work on getting over what hurt you in the first place. Good Luck
well, i've been like you for years, it hasn't really changed, i was hurt a lot when young, and it does tend to make you keep that emotional distance for fear of being hurt again, a kind of self preservation, it can be very lonely though, as for dating friends, there are up sides and down sides to it, if it all goes pear-shaped the friendship can disappear too, but if it worked out it can be a good relationship based on that solid friendship
iloveu so much and if ucomehere we willghet the truth about all them but uahgve toknow in amking relations uhurt me withthat and ustop me from surching who did for me that!
I know people who will fall out of one relationship and jump straight into another.
What do you do wait or jump straight back in again?How do you let someone into your life?
Just get to know people as friends first and the rest will follow. I've only dated 2 girls who I wasn't friends with before. Both those relationships were very disappointing and short. You make enough friends and one day somebody will enter your life and take your heart without you even knowing what happened.How do you let someone into your life?
By spending time and getting to know that person for what they are and who you are and your guard will slowing start coming down but one wrong move from them it will go up so quick so be carefully and take it slow you will love again, just work on getting over what hurt you in the first place. Good Luck
well, i've been like you for years, it hasn't really changed, i was hurt a lot when young, and it does tend to make you keep that emotional distance for fear of being hurt again, a kind of self preservation, it can be very lonely though, as for dating friends, there are up sides and down sides to it, if it all goes pear-shaped the friendship can disappear too, but if it worked out it can be a good relationship based on that solid friendship
iloveu so much and if ucomehere we willghet the truth about all them but uahgve toknow in amking relations uhurt me withthat and ustop me from surching who did for me that!
How do you tell someone you love that you dont want to be with them anymore?
we dont go out officially but we do the same things boyfriends and girlfriends do...its been 2 years and i want to move on...it might sound shallow but i need to see whats out there...the hardest problem is that we really are good together..but we're not going to be together forever and i dont want to be...but she does...shes obsessed with me..and she loves me so much and would do anything for me...so its so much harder...im on vacation now and i told her that i was thinking about ending our relationship...(that took many different times) she gets so sad...i know she'd be depressed for at least a few weeks if i do this..but i still want to be friends with her after, she says she'll never ever talk to me again if i go through with it....what do i say to her when i get back if I dont want to go out anymore? how can i do this w.o having her hate me... (my friends wanted me to stay with her and cheat but i told them that I could never do that to her)How do you tell someone you love that you dont want to be with them anymore?
id say it quickly and dont drag it out for too long. say it too her face (not text) and just say something like ';i dont think we should be together anymore'; but if you say lets just be friends, if she is so obsessed with you she might think that you still have a chance of getting back together which you dont. just be aware of her feelings xxHow do you tell someone you love that you dont want to be with them anymore?
you be weird and act mean and not yourself and she will brake up with you so you don't have to worry about Breaking her heart
id say it quickly and dont drag it out for too long. say it too her face (not text) and just say something like ';i dont think we should be together anymore'; but if you say lets just be friends, if she is so obsessed with you she might think that you still have a chance of getting back together which you dont. just be aware of her feelings xxHow do you tell someone you love that you dont want to be with them anymore?
you be weird and act mean and not yourself and she will brake up with you so you don't have to worry about Breaking her heart
How do you forget how to love someone... how do you fall out of love, when you have no choice?
Ok, it was June 30th since I broke up with a boyfriend of 4 years. Sure, I'm not in the agonizing pain that I was in on day/week one, but I sure as heck still hurt. My mind constantly goes back to him and the memories we had together. I miss his presence, touch, kind words and overall, the companionship. The pain I'm feeling leaves me in such a rut everyday. I can't go on living feeling like this anymore.
I realize most will say surround yourself with firends, find a new relationship, and I'm doing my best with that. Currently, circumstances are limiting, however, regardless of a new love or fling, I'm still feeling brokenhearted and infact, a little angry.
I don't want to be bitter anymore over the ending of our relationship. It's getting the best of me, and my ex doesn't deserve to have this power over me.
How do I free myself from this agony? I've tried everything, and I've even stopped trying too, hoping that time would just do its thing. All I know, time fixes nothing.How do you forget how to love someone... how do you fall out of love, when you have no choice?
I know its long, but just read through it, it might help u.
either, if u still have feelings for him, try repair the relationship, or if u dont have any feelings left for him, try find someone else
I have 2 methods 4 gettin rid of unwanted feelings and emotions. might not work, but u can try them:
Method 1
Make sure its windy outside.
Take some flour. put it on a plate. doesnt matter how much, not 2 much - about a handful, maybe more if u think u need it.
light a fire - if u have a fireplace - DONT BURN DOWN UR HOUSE!
have the plate of flour infront of u. look at it, stare at it, try 2 focus without consentratin, if u can.
it may be painful, but think back to everything u can remember about him and the stuff u did with him, imagine pouring it all into the flour infront of u. try and get rid of everything u rmember about him. plour it all into the flour.
Once uve done this, go outside into the garden - take the flour, or go to a hill nearby or something, somewhere high up and windy. make sure there is wind. hold the flour up. blow really hard. blow all of it away. make sure there isnt a grain left. get rid of it - let the wind carry it away.
Method 2
Light a fire somewhere. Open fireplace would be best - somewhere where its not likely 2 burn down the house or anything.
Take a plain piece of paper, white will do, but if u use ur ex's favourite colour, it may work better.
on the piece of paper, write down everything u remember about ur ex. colour pen doesn't matter - nothing sparkly if u can help it, just plain colour.
once uve done that, throw t in the fire. watch it burn. when ur completely convinced that the paper is in ashes, take the ashes 2 a windy place and cast them away.
This counts 4 both methods:
Optional
After uve done this, u may want to go and cry for a while, just go and have ur favourite drink, ur favourite meal, ur favourite everything if it makes u feel better about anything like bringing back painful memories. Go 2 bed early so that ur rested the next day.
The next day, u should feel a lot better. it might take longer - could b a week, could b a month, could not work at all, but i think that its definatley worth a shot.How do you forget how to love someone... how do you fall out of love, when you have no choice?
i dnt pity u,coz ur the strong like me.im facing the same situation.he married.i started writing a book.this has helped me a lot.and moreover if u say ur feelings out to some1 it may b any1.may b self.it works.try it.and let me no.it takes time.ok take care.
Just live your life like you never had your heart broken, someday you are going to look back and laugh at this situation, dont forget to smile!
i was also in a four year relationship.. and it took me about a year to realize he was not coming back.... and to this day 5 years later when i think about it i get sad.. i really do not think you get over your love.. but then again he was my first love as a matter of fact he was my first everything...
p.s. he still calls me to even though he is involved ... and tells me he loves me.... so yeah i dont think youll ever get over it..
i wish i knew the answer, i'm going through something similar...........good luck!
Love is a choice.
You can either choose to love him or choose not to.
the only thing you fall in or out of is like and lust.
girl i know how you feel.
ughh
its really depressing but you can get through itpigment white hair
I realize most will say surround yourself with firends, find a new relationship, and I'm doing my best with that. Currently, circumstances are limiting, however, regardless of a new love or fling, I'm still feeling brokenhearted and infact, a little angry.
I don't want to be bitter anymore over the ending of our relationship. It's getting the best of me, and my ex doesn't deserve to have this power over me.
How do I free myself from this agony? I've tried everything, and I've even stopped trying too, hoping that time would just do its thing. All I know, time fixes nothing.How do you forget how to love someone... how do you fall out of love, when you have no choice?
I know its long, but just read through it, it might help u.
either, if u still have feelings for him, try repair the relationship, or if u dont have any feelings left for him, try find someone else
I have 2 methods 4 gettin rid of unwanted feelings and emotions. might not work, but u can try them:
Method 1
Make sure its windy outside.
Take some flour. put it on a plate. doesnt matter how much, not 2 much - about a handful, maybe more if u think u need it.
light a fire - if u have a fireplace - DONT BURN DOWN UR HOUSE!
have the plate of flour infront of u. look at it, stare at it, try 2 focus without consentratin, if u can.
it may be painful, but think back to everything u can remember about him and the stuff u did with him, imagine pouring it all into the flour infront of u. try and get rid of everything u rmember about him. plour it all into the flour.
Once uve done this, go outside into the garden - take the flour, or go to a hill nearby or something, somewhere high up and windy. make sure there is wind. hold the flour up. blow really hard. blow all of it away. make sure there isnt a grain left. get rid of it - let the wind carry it away.
Method 2
Light a fire somewhere. Open fireplace would be best - somewhere where its not likely 2 burn down the house or anything.
Take a plain piece of paper, white will do, but if u use ur ex's favourite colour, it may work better.
on the piece of paper, write down everything u remember about ur ex. colour pen doesn't matter - nothing sparkly if u can help it, just plain colour.
once uve done that, throw t in the fire. watch it burn. when ur completely convinced that the paper is in ashes, take the ashes 2 a windy place and cast them away.
This counts 4 both methods:
Optional
After uve done this, u may want to go and cry for a while, just go and have ur favourite drink, ur favourite meal, ur favourite everything if it makes u feel better about anything like bringing back painful memories. Go 2 bed early so that ur rested the next day.
The next day, u should feel a lot better. it might take longer - could b a week, could b a month, could not work at all, but i think that its definatley worth a shot.How do you forget how to love someone... how do you fall out of love, when you have no choice?
i dnt pity u,coz ur the strong like me.im facing the same situation.he married.i started writing a book.this has helped me a lot.and moreover if u say ur feelings out to some1 it may b any1.may b self.it works.try it.and let me no.it takes time.ok take care.
Just live your life like you never had your heart broken, someday you are going to look back and laugh at this situation, dont forget to smile!
i was also in a four year relationship.. and it took me about a year to realize he was not coming back.... and to this day 5 years later when i think about it i get sad.. i really do not think you get over your love.. but then again he was my first love as a matter of fact he was my first everything...
p.s. he still calls me to even though he is involved ... and tells me he loves me.... so yeah i dont think youll ever get over it..
i wish i knew the answer, i'm going through something similar...........good luck!
Love is a choice.
You can either choose to love him or choose not to.
the only thing you fall in or out of is like and lust.
girl i know how you feel.
ughh
its really depressing but you can get through it
What do you do when you love someone, used to love another,and starting to love another?
ok...I love my boyfrind very much %26amp;%26amp; I have no doubt that if I want to in the future we will get married...
but my bf went to the navy for basic...he came back bc of medical discharge %26amp;%26amp; he doesnt ever have to go back. but while he was gone an ex of mine told me he loved me.
- the only reason my ex %26amp; I broke up bc we live an hour away from each other. %26amp;%26amp; we went out 3 times all ending w. the distance issue.
ok...next my boyfriend is back %26amp;%26amp; things have been going really good...but he doesnt like to show affection like people our age do...it annoys me so much %26amp;%26amp; we fight all the time. but at the end of the day we still love each other. we live together even tho I am still in highschool.
-now there is this other guy...he was my friend until we started hanging out more alone...%26amp;%26amp; then it more. I am really starting to like this guy %26amp;%26amp; we talk about almost everything. from family to my boyfriend to the class we have together...%26amp;%26amp; he shows the kind of affection I am really missing in my relationship.
I need help deciding who I want to be with...%26amp;%26amp; whats my best options.
In general how do I get my 3 guy crisis down to a 1 guy at a time life.
my boyfriend loves me...but sometimes I am really unhappy
my ex always makes me happy when he's around...which isnt often.
%26amp;%26amp; my friend that is becoming more always makes me happy but it gets hard to be with him when I have to sneek around to be with him.
help me please... What do you do when you love someone, used to love another,and starting to love another?
I know it will be really really hard, but you are going to have to pick just one.
Your ex is your ex. Almost everyone has that one ex that they just can't get out of their head, but there's a reason you broke up in the first place. Long distance is hard to manage and I know from experience it's almost impossible in high school, having been in two LDRs myself.
As for your current relationship... Just because a relationship starts out a certain way doesn't mean it's going to stay that way forever. You might think your guy friend treats you with more love than your boyfriend, but if you started dating, after a while it would stop being so intense.
I would say forget the ex. As for the other two, it all comes down to who you care about more... but don't expect things to be lovy-dovy forever.
but my bf went to the navy for basic...he came back bc of medical discharge %26amp;%26amp; he doesnt ever have to go back. but while he was gone an ex of mine told me he loved me.
- the only reason my ex %26amp; I broke up bc we live an hour away from each other. %26amp;%26amp; we went out 3 times all ending w. the distance issue.
ok...next my boyfriend is back %26amp;%26amp; things have been going really good...but he doesnt like to show affection like people our age do...it annoys me so much %26amp;%26amp; we fight all the time. but at the end of the day we still love each other. we live together even tho I am still in highschool.
-now there is this other guy...he was my friend until we started hanging out more alone...%26amp;%26amp; then it more. I am really starting to like this guy %26amp;%26amp; we talk about almost everything. from family to my boyfriend to the class we have together...%26amp;%26amp; he shows the kind of affection I am really missing in my relationship.
I need help deciding who I want to be with...%26amp;%26amp; whats my best options.
In general how do I get my 3 guy crisis down to a 1 guy at a time life.
my boyfriend loves me...but sometimes I am really unhappy
my ex always makes me happy when he's around...which isnt often.
%26amp;%26amp; my friend that is becoming more always makes me happy but it gets hard to be with him when I have to sneek around to be with him.
help me please... What do you do when you love someone, used to love another,and starting to love another?
I know it will be really really hard, but you are going to have to pick just one.
Your ex is your ex. Almost everyone has that one ex that they just can't get out of their head, but there's a reason you broke up in the first place. Long distance is hard to manage and I know from experience it's almost impossible in high school, having been in two LDRs myself.
As for your current relationship... Just because a relationship starts out a certain way doesn't mean it's going to stay that way forever. You might think your guy friend treats you with more love than your boyfriend, but if you started dating, after a while it would stop being so intense.
I would say forget the ex. As for the other two, it all comes down to who you care about more... but don't expect things to be lovy-dovy forever.
What do you think of this?
AQUARIUS - The Slut
Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Knows how to Have fun. Is really good at almost anything. Great kisser. Unpredictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found. 7 years bad luck if you do not repost.
GEMINI - The Keeper
Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny. Excellent kisser EXTREMELY adorable. Loves relationships, Loves to hang out with the one they love , gives everyone everything they want, great personality,HOTT!, thier love is one of a kind. sweet and lovable. Addictive. Loud. 16 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
PISCES - The Addict
EXTREMELY adorable. Intelligent. Loves to joke. Very Good sense of humor. Energetic. Predict future. GREAT kisser. Amazing in the you know where..!!! Always get what they want. Attractive. Easy going. Loves being in long relationship. Talkative. Romantic. Caring. 4 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
LEO - The Cool One
Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, Fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person Ever meet! however not the kind of person you wanna mess with... u might end up crying... 9 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
CANCER - The Smart One.
Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being In long-term relationships. Extremely energetic. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out. 2 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
ARIES- The Irresistible One
Nice Love is one of a kind. Great listeners Very Good in bed... Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Trustworthy. Always happy. Loud. Talkative. Outgoing VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE. 9 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
SAGITTARIUS-The One that Waits
Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always Wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal. Beautiful. Goofy. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. The one and only. 7 Years of bad luck if you do not repost.
TAURUS- The Aggressive One
MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high appeal. Love is one of a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet! Entirely creative. Extremely random and proud of it. Freak. Spontaneous. Great at telling Stories. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to. 12 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
LIBRA - The Partner for Life
Caring and kind. Smart. Center of attention. High appeal. Has the last word. Good to find, hard to keep. Fun to be around. Extremely weird but in a good way. Good Sense of Humor!!! Thoughtful. Always gets what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet. 5 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
CAPRICORN - The Cute One
Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Predict future. Irresistible. Loves being in long relationships. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. Cool. Loves to own Geminis' in sports. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart. 24 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
SCORPIO - The Gorgeous One
Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight for what they want. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Best kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. Amazing in bed. A caring person. One of a kind.Gorgeous Smile.Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive people on earth! 15 years of bad luck if you do not
repost.
VIRGO- The Promiscuous One
Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! AmazingWhat do you think of this?
I think this is true, because it's me.
VIRGO- The Promiscuous One
Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! AmazingWhat do you think of this?
Woohoo! I'm the smart one and my boyfriend is the irresistable one... flattery will get you everywhere my friend - have a star!
Im Pisces and it says good kisser so it must be true haha no on the real I hate these thing fakest things EVER
imma virgo and i am no way promiscuous! im still a virgin--now that is hard to come by now-a-days =]
They all sound exactly the same.
Im capricorn and im like half those things lol, but thats true for virgo..
im aries wooh hoo :Dxx
Well i am a Virgo, some of that applies but not all of it...
i think you need to get out more
well my star sign is CANCER n firstly, i hate being in long-term relationships coz i get bored easily! so that's a lie. BUT im very unpredictable and really can b trusted. Oh yeah and there right about ';Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out'; :D
YAY!!!! im a Gemini!!! i didnt kno i was a good kisser!!!its true.no one beter mess with me.and i am lovable.i also like relationships even though i havent had one yet i think it will be cute.and i love to go out.SOMETIMES.lol.an i guess i give everything what they want.oooohhhh..u u think im sweet.... thank u!!ok so maybe i am loud.hahaha!lol. STAR!!!!
Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Knows how to Have fun. Is really good at almost anything. Great kisser. Unpredictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found. 7 years bad luck if you do not repost.
GEMINI - The Keeper
Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny. Excellent kisser EXTREMELY adorable. Loves relationships, Loves to hang out with the one they love , gives everyone everything they want, great personality,HOTT!, thier love is one of a kind. sweet and lovable. Addictive. Loud. 16 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
PISCES - The Addict
EXTREMELY adorable. Intelligent. Loves to joke. Very Good sense of humor. Energetic. Predict future. GREAT kisser. Amazing in the you know where..!!! Always get what they want. Attractive. Easy going. Loves being in long relationship. Talkative. Romantic. Caring. 4 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
LEO - The Cool One
Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, Fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person Ever meet! however not the kind of person you wanna mess with... u might end up crying... 9 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
CANCER - The Smart One.
Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being In long-term relationships. Extremely energetic. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out. 2 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
ARIES- The Irresistible One
Nice Love is one of a kind. Great listeners Very Good in bed... Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Trustworthy. Always happy. Loud. Talkative. Outgoing VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE. 9 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
SAGITTARIUS-The One that Waits
Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always Wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal. Beautiful. Goofy. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. The one and only. 7 Years of bad luck if you do not repost.
TAURUS- The Aggressive One
MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high appeal. Love is one of a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet! Entirely creative. Extremely random and proud of it. Freak. Spontaneous. Great at telling Stories. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to. 12 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
LIBRA - The Partner for Life
Caring and kind. Smart. Center of attention. High appeal. Has the last word. Good to find, hard to keep. Fun to be around. Extremely weird but in a good way. Good Sense of Humor!!! Thoughtful. Always gets what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet. 5 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
CAPRICORN - The Cute One
Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Predict future. Irresistible. Loves being in long relationships. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. Cool. Loves to own Geminis' in sports. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart. 24 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
SCORPIO - The Gorgeous One
Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight for what they want. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Best kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. Amazing in bed. A caring person. One of a kind.Gorgeous Smile.Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive people on earth! 15 years of bad luck if you do not
repost.
VIRGO- The Promiscuous One
Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! AmazingWhat do you think of this?
I think this is true, because it's me.
VIRGO- The Promiscuous One
Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! AmazingWhat do you think of this?
Woohoo! I'm the smart one and my boyfriend is the irresistable one... flattery will get you everywhere my friend - have a star!
Im Pisces and it says good kisser so it must be true haha no on the real I hate these thing fakest things EVER
imma virgo and i am no way promiscuous! im still a virgin--now that is hard to come by now-a-days =]
They all sound exactly the same.
Im capricorn and im like half those things lol, but thats true for virgo..
im aries wooh hoo :Dxx
Well i am a Virgo, some of that applies but not all of it...
i think you need to get out more
well my star sign is CANCER n firstly, i hate being in long-term relationships coz i get bored easily! so that's a lie. BUT im very unpredictable and really can b trusted. Oh yeah and there right about ';Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out'; :D
YAY!!!! im a Gemini!!! i didnt kno i was a good kisser!!!its true.no one beter mess with me.and i am lovable.i also like relationships even though i havent had one yet i think it will be cute.and i love to go out.SOMETIMES.lol.an i guess i give everything what they want.oooohhhh..u u think im sweet.... thank u!!ok so maybe i am loud.hahaha!lol. STAR!!!!
What do I do / So Confused (boyfriend wanted to end relationship)?
I'm so hurt/confused and I can't sleep or think straight.
I've been with my boyfriend for almost 4 months.
We've both been having depression and haven't felt 'normal' in quite a while.
He was interested in me when we first got together and I had never thought of him as more than a friend and had never been in a relationship before, so I was hesitant and nervous about the idea of dating and being so inexperienced (he's 21 and I'm 20). He got out of a 3 year relationship about 8 to 10 months before we started dating. As I said, he was really interested in me and mentioned that he had always liked me (even when he was with his gf) as we have known each other for 4 years. So, when he asked me out, I wanted to take things slow and wasn't sure about whether I would be comfortable being in a relationship as I was so inexperienced, but he told me that I either wanted to be with him or didn't and that if I chose not to, then he couldn't remain friends with me as it would hurt him too much, so i agreed to be with him, as i didn't want to pass up the opportunity of something that could have alot of potential even though i wanted to take things slow.
For 2 - 3 weeks, the beginning of the relationship was spent experimenting with drugs, so it was something exciting, something beautiful shared between us and brought us closer.
He decided that he didn't want to take drugs anymore and didn't want me to do it anymore as it would not benefit in the relationship and we both agreed to stop. After we stopped, we have been going through depression together, but we've also helped each other out through it and stuck by each others side.
I feel that there is nothing going wrong in the relationship, in fact, I felt that everything was going really really well. At first, I doubted things as I was used to being independent and wasn't able to grasp the idea of a relationship, but as time went by and the more time we spent together, I realized how much I've grown to love him more and more and how great this man has been to me, been there for me despite all the **** we've been through.
Before I met him, I had plans about where I wanted to be in a few years time, like moving overseas after studying and my family and friends always questioned me about my reason for going there as I had no reason, apart from wanting to start things over. What I wasn't able to understand at the time was that no matter what country I decide to go to, the problems, the self confidence issues will always be there.
So being in this relationship, it made me appreciate my surroundings and that perhaps living here isn't such a bad place, it just depends on who you surround yourself with.
Yesterday morning, he was in a low state and mentioned that he didn't want to ruin my life anymore as he felt he had already done (spending my vacation money / pay checks on drugs, on us) And mentioned alot of things like he spoke to his friend about how he missed being single and that he preferred to be alone.
This hurt me so much because I did so much for him, putting him first before myself. He's not employed, so I've always put him first and made sure he had money to do things, make sure he's eaten, even though he feels that he's leeching of me, money is not an issue for me as I would do it for someone who I care about as I would like to think that I would like the same help if I ever needed it. I've also never felt this happy in a long time and I feel so safe with him, despite feeling very very low. I also lost my virginity to him, which may not mean a big deal to some, but he really did make me believe that he had thought this through hard and that he could see this relationship going far and that we were going through down time together. He thinks that I can do so much better, but I don't see him as a bad person at all, in fact I love every single thing about him and I believe that couples shouldn't end things by making rash decisions and that things can work.
Now he says that relationships at this age never last long and that it's better to end things now.
I was crying hysterically and so hurt confused but after he told me that he loved me and not to worry, that he did want to be with me and that it was just a phase and that he will give things another go. I just feel used and I can't believe I put my trust in someone who told me that things were fine, that we could get through this, only for him to wake up one day and tell me that he wants to break up and that he was sure about it, to saying that he was sorry and that he does want to be with me.
I just don't know what to do, what to think and my mind is a mess. I don't know if I can trust him anymore after this because I don't know if what he means is true or if he'll break up with me at anytime. I'm very hurt and I feel stuck.
What's your advice/ opinion on this? Is there anything I can do?
Sorry for typing so much, I just don't have anyone to talk to for advice.What do I do / So Confused (boyfriend wanted to end relationship)?
well i dont know what hes tripin on.is he bi-poler it kinda sounds like he is or hes a dick.you sound like a great girl i fell a person should never have to deal with all that i know he might be your first love but sometimes you should just find someone else. becuse you cant trust people that dont love you
I've been with my boyfriend for almost 4 months.
We've both been having depression and haven't felt 'normal' in quite a while.
He was interested in me when we first got together and I had never thought of him as more than a friend and had never been in a relationship before, so I was hesitant and nervous about the idea of dating and being so inexperienced (he's 21 and I'm 20). He got out of a 3 year relationship about 8 to 10 months before we started dating. As I said, he was really interested in me and mentioned that he had always liked me (even when he was with his gf) as we have known each other for 4 years. So, when he asked me out, I wanted to take things slow and wasn't sure about whether I would be comfortable being in a relationship as I was so inexperienced, but he told me that I either wanted to be with him or didn't and that if I chose not to, then he couldn't remain friends with me as it would hurt him too much, so i agreed to be with him, as i didn't want to pass up the opportunity of something that could have alot of potential even though i wanted to take things slow.
For 2 - 3 weeks, the beginning of the relationship was spent experimenting with drugs, so it was something exciting, something beautiful shared between us and brought us closer.
He decided that he didn't want to take drugs anymore and didn't want me to do it anymore as it would not benefit in the relationship and we both agreed to stop. After we stopped, we have been going through depression together, but we've also helped each other out through it and stuck by each others side.
I feel that there is nothing going wrong in the relationship, in fact, I felt that everything was going really really well. At first, I doubted things as I was used to being independent and wasn't able to grasp the idea of a relationship, but as time went by and the more time we spent together, I realized how much I've grown to love him more and more and how great this man has been to me, been there for me despite all the **** we've been through.
Before I met him, I had plans about where I wanted to be in a few years time, like moving overseas after studying and my family and friends always questioned me about my reason for going there as I had no reason, apart from wanting to start things over. What I wasn't able to understand at the time was that no matter what country I decide to go to, the problems, the self confidence issues will always be there.
So being in this relationship, it made me appreciate my surroundings and that perhaps living here isn't such a bad place, it just depends on who you surround yourself with.
Yesterday morning, he was in a low state and mentioned that he didn't want to ruin my life anymore as he felt he had already done (spending my vacation money / pay checks on drugs, on us) And mentioned alot of things like he spoke to his friend about how he missed being single and that he preferred to be alone.
This hurt me so much because I did so much for him, putting him first before myself. He's not employed, so I've always put him first and made sure he had money to do things, make sure he's eaten, even though he feels that he's leeching of me, money is not an issue for me as I would do it for someone who I care about as I would like to think that I would like the same help if I ever needed it. I've also never felt this happy in a long time and I feel so safe with him, despite feeling very very low. I also lost my virginity to him, which may not mean a big deal to some, but he really did make me believe that he had thought this through hard and that he could see this relationship going far and that we were going through down time together. He thinks that I can do so much better, but I don't see him as a bad person at all, in fact I love every single thing about him and I believe that couples shouldn't end things by making rash decisions and that things can work.
Now he says that relationships at this age never last long and that it's better to end things now.
I was crying hysterically and so hurt confused but after he told me that he loved me and not to worry, that he did want to be with me and that it was just a phase and that he will give things another go. I just feel used and I can't believe I put my trust in someone who told me that things were fine, that we could get through this, only for him to wake up one day and tell me that he wants to break up and that he was sure about it, to saying that he was sorry and that he does want to be with me.
I just don't know what to do, what to think and my mind is a mess. I don't know if I can trust him anymore after this because I don't know if what he means is true or if he'll break up with me at anytime. I'm very hurt and I feel stuck.
What's your advice/ opinion on this? Is there anything I can do?
Sorry for typing so much, I just don't have anyone to talk to for advice.What do I do / So Confused (boyfriend wanted to end relationship)?
well i dont know what hes tripin on.is he bi-poler it kinda sounds like he is or hes a dick.you sound like a great girl i fell a person should never have to deal with all that i know he might be your first love but sometimes you should just find someone else. becuse you cant trust people that dont love you
Is it possible to get over a long term relationship?
After breaking up with a guy, I later start dating the ';Rebound Guy';. it was hard for me to love him the same way he loved me but he was a good friend and always there for me. After staying in the (comfort zone) relationship for 3 years I fell in love with him and we had a child together, after two more years of our relationship he decided he didn't want to be in the relationship anymore. Please help me, I am deeply in love with this man, and I thought we would spend the rest of our lives together. Unfortunately, he has moved on. But what I don't understand is how could someone love you so much just out of the blue decided to end a 5 year relationship. I want to move on, but I feel stuck. Everytime I see him I just melt. It has been over a year since we broke up. Why can't I just move on. Is it possible to get over a long term relationship? If so tell me how.Is it possible to get over a long term relationship?
i was with my ex husband for 32 years when we split out of the blue with no warning its odd at first because everything you know and do was done together so everywhere you go alone is full of memories but like berevement time does heal and you will turn it around but dont beat yourself up give it time and it will be right in the end
look after yourself and your child and i wish you all the very best of luckIs it possible to get over a long term relationship?
Sorry forgot the r in you.
Unfortunately it might take longer to get over this man because you have a son together and it really is impossible to not see him. You could probably analyse this till you are blue in the face but it is over. All the ';what went wrong'; is not going to change anything. I bought a book, ';How to Survive a Loss of a Love'; that really helped me out when the man I thought I would spend the rest of my life with decided after 3 years that I wasn't worth it. This man who left you decided long before he told you that he didn't want to spend the rest of his life with you. You were not allowed the same luxury of knowing sooner. That is so damn painful to hear but the sooner you accept this the sooner you will heal. We all have different ways of getting thru this and unfortunately it seems like forever before it does but it will. Letting go of someone you so deeply love is the hardest but once it does it is amazing how suddenly free you will feel. I can promise you this, once you have moved on you will look back and will see the problems you both had and you will know that everything works out for the best. Good luck
not fully know
but the thing that helps me is know that you just aren't right for that person .
best of luck to you
It is possible to get over a long term relationship. It has probably taken you longer because to come to terms with things as it was a bolt from the blue and you weren't ';prepared'; for it. I know it sounds strange but quite often we actually know deep down there are problems in a relationship and sometimes the end is a relief and we look forward to a new start but in your case it sounds like he made a sudden decision. Would it help if you talked to him - say to him that you don't want to put pressure on him but to help you come to terms with the end, could he tell you why things changed for him. You may find it hurtful but you may get some closure from it. Sometimes, it's nothing to do with you - it's them and nothing you could do would change their mind. Start to try and enjoy your life and think about the future again - sometimes it is easy to get so wrapped up in a love lost we don't get on with our lives. Because of your son, you stil have contact with him and this often makes things more difficult. Just try to be positive - you will get over this and move on.
Yes, it's possible to get over a long-term relationship. Millions of people do it every day. As I was going through my divorce, I was astonished with the support and understanding I received from people; from the personal stories they shared with me I realized that nearly everyone had had some very traumatic relationship experiences that they had put behind them. My mom admitted to trying to commit suicide after her first marriage fell apart... But she eventually recovered, met my dad, and had two kids (my brother and I); my parents are still married, and are getting ready to celebrate their 35th anniversary. My dad told me the story of how his first marriage ended; he was out of town on a business trip, and instead of coming home to his wife and son he came home to an empty apartment - she left, took the kid and all their possessions, and moved to her parents' house in another city while he was away. People get over this stuff every day; you just have to make an effort, for yours and your child's sake. At some point, you have to stop asking why he had walked out, and stop wishing for the things to be the way the used to, because they never will be. You can't recover what was lost, but you CAN build a whole new life for yourself, and you CAN find happiness. Draw strength from your friendships, family, your social network; don't let yourself become isolated. Focus on yourself and your child. Try to meet new people. If you continue feeling down and depressed, make an appointment with a mental health professional; perhaps you need some extra help in the form of medication or counseling. Whatever you do, don't just wallow in self-pity for the rest of your life; you can, and will, get over it. Good luck.
Well you chose him as a comfort zone and a rebound guy, not as a permanent relationship. That attitude at the beginning may very well have determined the ending. For one thing you weren't being terribly choosy because you didn't think you were going to be investing that much in this guy, also he may very well have read your emotional intent at the time as well. If he never felt all that important or loved by you except as the guy who was there to prop you up and get you through the hard times then it's not a stretch to think that he didn't think the relationship was all that important either.
On the other hand, things developed to the point where the two of you decided to have a child together, so you must have gotten pretty serious. He doesn't sound like much of a man if he would walk away from his own child, it's hard for me to fathom what's going through his head.
Because you do have a child together, there really isn't going to be an easy way for you to 'move on', unless this is a total scumbag who is completely walking away from his own kid (in which case you're much better off without him). But if he's a normal guy, then the two of you are going to be seeing each other for the rest of your lives as he continues to be in the child's life.
I can't speculate why he left, there aren't enough details. Were you unkind to him, or did he feel ignored/unloved? Or did he find someone else, have an affair and move on? I'm sorry I really don't know. His actions don't make sense, need more details to answer.
Most of the time LETTING GO is the hardest thing that a normal person can do. Your a STRONG WOMAN put that in your head, i used to be like that, my fianceuse to be like that and he has 100% hold of me, im all over him, and it didn't help me at all. I feel not appreciated, sad, my self esteem was really low, all i want is to be with him and for him to be satisfied, but you know what i learn. I will be more happy pleasing myself than chasing him. I went for vacation for 6 months when i get back my fiance changed he appreciated me more and love me more. Be strong, there's a lot of fish in the sea, read WHY MEN LOVE BITCHES that book is really good. My girl friend advise me to read taht book too and it help me alot... I hope this can help..
GOOD LUCK
avoid him at all costs if possible, move away, there are many people who could make you happy.
some things r just really not meant2b ...searching4the answer, that u may never get, wont solve anything...how long it takes2get over any loss is really up2u...if u make up ur mind, u can do anything..but it's hard%26amp;u hav2keep workin on it....
eventually, it does gets easier%26amp;the strong emotions u hav right now will fade
You can get over a long term relationship, i was with my ex for over two years and when he left i was heart broken. Graduly over time i started to feel less pain till it got to the point that i was over him. You need to take care of your self, try and see friends and family, get support from family and friends. Take it one day at at time then you won't feel so overwhlemed. Write down three postive things a day, treat your self for example to a bubble bath. Try to stop thinking about getting back together with him, and start looking towards yours and your daughters future, you will get there
you need to find out what was wrong with the relationship. not with you. its hard to not feel as though something is wrong with you, but the image of the relationship you had was not the same he had. The thing is that he was able to process leaving when you didn't. Try to remember what was going on a few months prior to the break up and focus on what was going on. It will be hard, but to truly let go you need to revisit hard times and take a look at what was going on. Your feelings might turn to hate, and you might realize that why would you want someone that could just leave. been in the same shoes as you and I am slowly beginning to realize the relationship. We all want to believe that the other person will be unconditional, but only family will love you that way.
You are wasting valuable days of your life pondering over him . As Judge Judy would say ';put a period and move on.';
you need closure...you still love that guy and hope he loves you too...talk to him and see if he still has any feelings and why he left you
i am in the exact same suituation as you, its really had and after a year i am still in love with my ex, i see him all the time he is my rock, but he has moved on, you will probably always will love him but you can love more that one person in life. the best way to get over it is with friends go out and pull, haveing fun is the only way to let him go.
hey
i think u have answered the question yourself, this relationship u where in was comfortable, u felt secure and loved, and suddenly it all went, and now u feel lost and stuck in a rut.
You can definatly get over it and move on with your life, i promise you that, try not to dwell on the question of how could he end it, and focus more on the fact it is over, and u have a whole new life ahead of you to plan for
he must of had his reasons, and just think its better to be with someone that really wants to be there, and not someone who doesnt really want to but is stayin out of habbit or whatever
concentrate on u and your child, it sounds as though u have been in a relationship for a long time so maybe now its time to focus on you, and start to get to know u better, i know that sounds corny, but u have to start realising we dont need men in our lives to be happy, start to do things u enjoy, take up a hobby u have always wanted to do, plan holidays and things for you and your child, and always remember life goes on, and you will get through this, you heart may be a little damaged, but one day im sure someone will fix it again, so enjoy your own company, and remember, whats meant to be will be :) good luck xxxx
i was with my ex husband for 32 years when we split out of the blue with no warning its odd at first because everything you know and do was done together so everywhere you go alone is full of memories but like berevement time does heal and you will turn it around but dont beat yourself up give it time and it will be right in the end
look after yourself and your child and i wish you all the very best of luckIs it possible to get over a long term relationship?
Sorry forgot the r in you.
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Unfortunately it might take longer to get over this man because you have a son together and it really is impossible to not see him. You could probably analyse this till you are blue in the face but it is over. All the ';what went wrong'; is not going to change anything. I bought a book, ';How to Survive a Loss of a Love'; that really helped me out when the man I thought I would spend the rest of my life with decided after 3 years that I wasn't worth it. This man who left you decided long before he told you that he didn't want to spend the rest of his life with you. You were not allowed the same luxury of knowing sooner. That is so damn painful to hear but the sooner you accept this the sooner you will heal. We all have different ways of getting thru this and unfortunately it seems like forever before it does but it will. Letting go of someone you so deeply love is the hardest but once it does it is amazing how suddenly free you will feel. I can promise you this, once you have moved on you will look back and will see the problems you both had and you will know that everything works out for the best. Good luck
not fully know
but the thing that helps me is know that you just aren't right for that person .
best of luck to you
It is possible to get over a long term relationship. It has probably taken you longer because to come to terms with things as it was a bolt from the blue and you weren't ';prepared'; for it. I know it sounds strange but quite often we actually know deep down there are problems in a relationship and sometimes the end is a relief and we look forward to a new start but in your case it sounds like he made a sudden decision. Would it help if you talked to him - say to him that you don't want to put pressure on him but to help you come to terms with the end, could he tell you why things changed for him. You may find it hurtful but you may get some closure from it. Sometimes, it's nothing to do with you - it's them and nothing you could do would change their mind. Start to try and enjoy your life and think about the future again - sometimes it is easy to get so wrapped up in a love lost we don't get on with our lives. Because of your son, you stil have contact with him and this often makes things more difficult. Just try to be positive - you will get over this and move on.
Yes, it's possible to get over a long-term relationship. Millions of people do it every day. As I was going through my divorce, I was astonished with the support and understanding I received from people; from the personal stories they shared with me I realized that nearly everyone had had some very traumatic relationship experiences that they had put behind them. My mom admitted to trying to commit suicide after her first marriage fell apart... But she eventually recovered, met my dad, and had two kids (my brother and I); my parents are still married, and are getting ready to celebrate their 35th anniversary. My dad told me the story of how his first marriage ended; he was out of town on a business trip, and instead of coming home to his wife and son he came home to an empty apartment - she left, took the kid and all their possessions, and moved to her parents' house in another city while he was away. People get over this stuff every day; you just have to make an effort, for yours and your child's sake. At some point, you have to stop asking why he had walked out, and stop wishing for the things to be the way the used to, because they never will be. You can't recover what was lost, but you CAN build a whole new life for yourself, and you CAN find happiness. Draw strength from your friendships, family, your social network; don't let yourself become isolated. Focus on yourself and your child. Try to meet new people. If you continue feeling down and depressed, make an appointment with a mental health professional; perhaps you need some extra help in the form of medication or counseling. Whatever you do, don't just wallow in self-pity for the rest of your life; you can, and will, get over it. Good luck.
Well you chose him as a comfort zone and a rebound guy, not as a permanent relationship. That attitude at the beginning may very well have determined the ending. For one thing you weren't being terribly choosy because you didn't think you were going to be investing that much in this guy, also he may very well have read your emotional intent at the time as well. If he never felt all that important or loved by you except as the guy who was there to prop you up and get you through the hard times then it's not a stretch to think that he didn't think the relationship was all that important either.
On the other hand, things developed to the point where the two of you decided to have a child together, so you must have gotten pretty serious. He doesn't sound like much of a man if he would walk away from his own child, it's hard for me to fathom what's going through his head.
Because you do have a child together, there really isn't going to be an easy way for you to 'move on', unless this is a total scumbag who is completely walking away from his own kid (in which case you're much better off without him). But if he's a normal guy, then the two of you are going to be seeing each other for the rest of your lives as he continues to be in the child's life.
I can't speculate why he left, there aren't enough details. Were you unkind to him, or did he feel ignored/unloved? Or did he find someone else, have an affair and move on? I'm sorry I really don't know. His actions don't make sense, need more details to answer.
Most of the time LETTING GO is the hardest thing that a normal person can do. Your a STRONG WOMAN put that in your head, i used to be like that, my fianceuse to be like that and he has 100% hold of me, im all over him, and it didn't help me at all. I feel not appreciated, sad, my self esteem was really low, all i want is to be with him and for him to be satisfied, but you know what i learn. I will be more happy pleasing myself than chasing him. I went for vacation for 6 months when i get back my fiance changed he appreciated me more and love me more. Be strong, there's a lot of fish in the sea, read WHY MEN LOVE BITCHES that book is really good. My girl friend advise me to read taht book too and it help me alot... I hope this can help..
GOOD LUCK
avoid him at all costs if possible, move away, there are many people who could make you happy.
some things r just really not meant2b ...searching4the answer, that u may never get, wont solve anything...how long it takes2get over any loss is really up2u...if u make up ur mind, u can do anything..but it's hard%26amp;u hav2keep workin on it....
eventually, it does gets easier%26amp;the strong emotions u hav right now will fade
You can get over a long term relationship, i was with my ex for over two years and when he left i was heart broken. Graduly over time i started to feel less pain till it got to the point that i was over him. You need to take care of your self, try and see friends and family, get support from family and friends. Take it one day at at time then you won't feel so overwhlemed. Write down three postive things a day, treat your self for example to a bubble bath. Try to stop thinking about getting back together with him, and start looking towards yours and your daughters future, you will get there
you need to find out what was wrong with the relationship. not with you. its hard to not feel as though something is wrong with you, but the image of the relationship you had was not the same he had. The thing is that he was able to process leaving when you didn't. Try to remember what was going on a few months prior to the break up and focus on what was going on. It will be hard, but to truly let go you need to revisit hard times and take a look at what was going on. Your feelings might turn to hate, and you might realize that why would you want someone that could just leave. been in the same shoes as you and I am slowly beginning to realize the relationship. We all want to believe that the other person will be unconditional, but only family will love you that way.
You are wasting valuable days of your life pondering over him . As Judge Judy would say ';put a period and move on.';
you need closure...you still love that guy and hope he loves you too...talk to him and see if he still has any feelings and why he left you
i am in the exact same suituation as you, its really had and after a year i am still in love with my ex, i see him all the time he is my rock, but he has moved on, you will probably always will love him but you can love more that one person in life. the best way to get over it is with friends go out and pull, haveing fun is the only way to let him go.
hey
i think u have answered the question yourself, this relationship u where in was comfortable, u felt secure and loved, and suddenly it all went, and now u feel lost and stuck in a rut.
You can definatly get over it and move on with your life, i promise you that, try not to dwell on the question of how could he end it, and focus more on the fact it is over, and u have a whole new life ahead of you to plan for
he must of had his reasons, and just think its better to be with someone that really wants to be there, and not someone who doesnt really want to but is stayin out of habbit or whatever
concentrate on u and your child, it sounds as though u have been in a relationship for a long time so maybe now its time to focus on you, and start to get to know u better, i know that sounds corny, but u have to start realising we dont need men in our lives to be happy, start to do things u enjoy, take up a hobby u have always wanted to do, plan holidays and things for you and your child, and always remember life goes on, and you will get through this, you heart may be a little damaged, but one day im sure someone will fix it again, so enjoy your own company, and remember, whats meant to be will be :) good luck xxxx
How do you let someone you love go? He is Bi-Polar and goes into these extreme rages and degrades me?
I was recently in a relationship with a guy who is 5 years younger than me. He was classified as bi polar. I met him and fell in love. I became pregnant a year after and I suddenly started to see changes in his personality. He was filled with rage and anger and anytime things got stressful it was hell. He didn't handle stress well. He started to choose his friend over me %26amp;put me in akward situations. Ex: Taking me to strip clubs and going out drinking etc when I was pregnant. ( I didn't drink) Anyway when I was 3 months he commited a robbery and went to prison for a yr and missed the birth. Now he is home %26amp; has 8 felonies on his record. I stood by his side faithfully but now all he does is degrade me when he goes into these episodes of highs or lows. Tells me its all my fault and I hurt him everyday and I don't know what love is etc. I ended it because I don't want my son to grow up in that kind of enviroment. I didn't end it because I didn't love him but more for my son.How do you let someone you love go? He is Bi-Polar and goes into these extreme rages and degrades me?
First of all, people are not criminals because they have bipolar disorder. This guy sounds like bad news all around.
You are doing the right thing by cutting him out of your life.
It sounds like he is not in treatment. That is his decision. If I were you, I'd give him the option of seeking treatment or seeing his son. If he is bad enough person to commit robberies, your son is not safe around him.
Only when he takes responsibility for his actions and his illness will he be able to start turning things around.
People with bipolar, despite their illness, are responsible for their actions. He has no right to treat you the way he is treating you. You are far better off without him, and so is your son. This really has nothing to do with bipolar.How do you let someone you love go? He is Bi-Polar and goes into these extreme rages and degrades me?
How can you continue to believe that love is the proper option here??
If you deliberately went shopping for someone to destroy/harm/murder you and your child it sounds like this very sick man would be a prime candidate for the job. Do not fool yourself even one day longer.
Put your infant son first and foremost and put this toxic person out of your life.
Yes he absolutely needs help but you have a higher priority than getting it for him. Get a restraining order today. Keep him away from you and your child. If you need to leave then go to a safe house. Get help for you and your child and ask the authorities to deal with this man. You did not make him ill and it is not within your power to fix him.
To end the relationship for your son is the best way for you to look at it now for your sake. Starry eyes can cause a person to be totally irrational, and make BAD decisions which they will regret. Ended is right to do now, not later. You will see that it's the right decision, and I agree, bi pola is not a license to be a criminal. Let go of him, let yourself get passed this bloke, and give yourself some TLC.
Do what you can, and you can still love him if you don't live in one house.
Bipolar disorder is a very serious illness, and what I understood, it only gets worse over time. So think well. If you want some advice on how to cope with extremely angry and unreasonable people, have a look at my free e-book at stepfamilyheaven.com, it will help you to stay faithful to yourself. I myself enrolled in a free NLP program just now, magic-hats.com. Might help too to feel better and be stronger!
For the sake of your son you have got to get out of this situation. Otherwise you son will be more likely to have the illness. You need to leave ASAP. You and your son are worth more than that. Not to mention he could become violent. It's just not worht it.
I know about Bi-Polar because I have a dear love one who suffers from this illness. I can tell you there is help out there for him, if he wants it ( mental health doctors and medications). How ever, you can not make him see a doctor or stay on any medication. Most don't like the meds because of the side effects.
I know you love him, but for your son's sake you did the right thing. He sounds like he is out of control. When a person with Bi-Polar is out of control they can and will do anything. He can be a danger to himself or a love one. Be very careful around him.
Does he have any relatives that could get him help? Even if he refuses help, if he is a danger to anyone or himself, a relative could go to the courthouse and sign papers to have him committed to a mental health hospital. Without help he will more than likly eventually kill himself or someone else. Please don't let it be you. For your baby's sake!
Oh honey, been there, done that. I finally ended a relationship with an abusive bi-polar ex-con when I got sick and almost died. I realized I had to take care of MYSELF, and I cut him out of my life. It was so easy, but I live hundreds of miles away from him, and he doesn't know exactly where I live.
You have a son - you need to protect your baby. No court is going award him partial custody. You may have to leave town - whatever it takes, do it. Believe me, none of this is YOUR fault. It's his.
It may sound simplistic - but just LET HIM GO. It's so simple once you make up your mind to do it.
please dont feel guilty because of this. this man has a problem and needs to sort it out. we all have to deal with our own problems. I am glad for you and your son that you were strong enough to sort things out. forgive yourself, and him if you can. we all have problems and its up to us to sort them out for ourselves. best thing you can do for him is wish him the best in finding the solution. this is his challenge, not yours. Try to move forward in your life, that was the past, its been and gone. what can you do now to make your life better?
if you love him get him help.
I know what you are going through. My soon to be ex husband is also bi-polar and an alcoholic as well. Before we were married, he went into rehab and quit drinking....stayed sober for five years. During those years we had a little boy, and everything was fine. Eventually he began drinking again and was diagnosed as bi-polar. The two years since have been filled with stress, pain, and severe bad times. He was put on meds, quit drinking again, and I tried to help him in every way. Then he would quit his meds and start back drinking. This went on for several months until I gained enough strength to end it. After that he attempted suicide and threatened to kill me as well. That was almost a year ago, and even though he is still going on and off his meds, both my son and I are much better off without him in our home. I still love him and always will, but I can't let him back into our home. Please find it within you to get some help and get out of this. I know it's hard, but believe me, you will be glad you did. I wish you luck.
First of all, people are not criminals because they have bipolar disorder. This guy sounds like bad news all around.
You are doing the right thing by cutting him out of your life.
It sounds like he is not in treatment. That is his decision. If I were you, I'd give him the option of seeking treatment or seeing his son. If he is bad enough person to commit robberies, your son is not safe around him.
Only when he takes responsibility for his actions and his illness will he be able to start turning things around.
People with bipolar, despite their illness, are responsible for their actions. He has no right to treat you the way he is treating you. You are far better off without him, and so is your son. This really has nothing to do with bipolar.How do you let someone you love go? He is Bi-Polar and goes into these extreme rages and degrades me?
How can you continue to believe that love is the proper option here??
If you deliberately went shopping for someone to destroy/harm/murder you and your child it sounds like this very sick man would be a prime candidate for the job. Do not fool yourself even one day longer.
Put your infant son first and foremost and put this toxic person out of your life.
Yes he absolutely needs help but you have a higher priority than getting it for him. Get a restraining order today. Keep him away from you and your child. If you need to leave then go to a safe house. Get help for you and your child and ask the authorities to deal with this man. You did not make him ill and it is not within your power to fix him.
To end the relationship for your son is the best way for you to look at it now for your sake. Starry eyes can cause a person to be totally irrational, and make BAD decisions which they will regret. Ended is right to do now, not later. You will see that it's the right decision, and I agree, bi pola is not a license to be a criminal. Let go of him, let yourself get passed this bloke, and give yourself some TLC.
Do what you can, and you can still love him if you don't live in one house.
Bipolar disorder is a very serious illness, and what I understood, it only gets worse over time. So think well. If you want some advice on how to cope with extremely angry and unreasonable people, have a look at my free e-book at stepfamilyheaven.com, it will help you to stay faithful to yourself. I myself enrolled in a free NLP program just now, magic-hats.com. Might help too to feel better and be stronger!
For the sake of your son you have got to get out of this situation. Otherwise you son will be more likely to have the illness. You need to leave ASAP. You and your son are worth more than that. Not to mention he could become violent. It's just not worht it.
I know about Bi-Polar because I have a dear love one who suffers from this illness. I can tell you there is help out there for him, if he wants it ( mental health doctors and medications). How ever, you can not make him see a doctor or stay on any medication. Most don't like the meds because of the side effects.
I know you love him, but for your son's sake you did the right thing. He sounds like he is out of control. When a person with Bi-Polar is out of control they can and will do anything. He can be a danger to himself or a love one. Be very careful around him.
Does he have any relatives that could get him help? Even if he refuses help, if he is a danger to anyone or himself, a relative could go to the courthouse and sign papers to have him committed to a mental health hospital. Without help he will more than likly eventually kill himself or someone else. Please don't let it be you. For your baby's sake!
Oh honey, been there, done that. I finally ended a relationship with an abusive bi-polar ex-con when I got sick and almost died. I realized I had to take care of MYSELF, and I cut him out of my life. It was so easy, but I live hundreds of miles away from him, and he doesn't know exactly where I live.
You have a son - you need to protect your baby. No court is going award him partial custody. You may have to leave town - whatever it takes, do it. Believe me, none of this is YOUR fault. It's his.
It may sound simplistic - but just LET HIM GO. It's so simple once you make up your mind to do it.
please dont feel guilty because of this. this man has a problem and needs to sort it out. we all have to deal with our own problems. I am glad for you and your son that you were strong enough to sort things out. forgive yourself, and him if you can. we all have problems and its up to us to sort them out for ourselves. best thing you can do for him is wish him the best in finding the solution. this is his challenge, not yours. Try to move forward in your life, that was the past, its been and gone. what can you do now to make your life better?
if you love him get him help.
I know what you are going through. My soon to be ex husband is also bi-polar and an alcoholic as well. Before we were married, he went into rehab and quit drinking....stayed sober for five years. During those years we had a little boy, and everything was fine. Eventually he began drinking again and was diagnosed as bi-polar. The two years since have been filled with stress, pain, and severe bad times. He was put on meds, quit drinking again, and I tried to help him in every way. Then he would quit his meds and start back drinking. This went on for several months until I gained enough strength to end it. After that he attempted suicide and threatened to kill me as well. That was almost a year ago, and even though he is still going on and off his meds, both my son and I are much better off without him in our home. I still love him and always will, but I can't let him back into our home. Please find it within you to get some help and get out of this. I know it's hard, but believe me, you will be glad you did. I wish you luck.
How do u breakup with someone you love!?
me n my bf really really love each other very much....but our relationship is a reck!! we always fight and always breakup but we can never stay away from each other for long....i know its bund to happend but i just dont wanna get my heart broken...also i really wanna do it but im just to attached like i know at the end its best but i just dont have the guts too!!How do u breakup with someone you love!?
You have two choices. If you truly love each other, it is time to seek counselling to learn how to compromise and agree on solutions. If that is not an option, then breaking up would be best. The continuation of the relationship you now have does not sound like something either of you want for the rest of your life. After the breakup, it is easy to drift back together because that is familiar territory. It will require an effort to meet someone new and accept them as they are. Too often we expect the new person to be just like the old.How do u breakup with someone you love!?
dont take this the wrong way but it doesnt really sound like your in love...you may not be able to stay away long from him becuz he is all you know...there are a lot of guys out there and one day you'll find another and go ';wow, so this is what love really feels like?';
the first step to breaking up with him is downsizing his role in your life...start affirming your independence, stop clinging to him...start hanging out more with your friends, stop talking to him on the phone every hour on the hour
you dont need to break up with him in one fell swoop...start distancing yourself from him little by little until you feel like you can break the relationship with ease
If you really love each-other you shouldn't want to break up with him. Many things change, in my point of view; life is a mess of variables. I could say something nice and sweet that is going to happen, but that would just be an assumption. Sorry to break it to you, but that's life, you should move on in my opinion, break-up with him 'nicely'. That way, he'll come to reason and take it slowly. This way, you can get together with him another time if you feel you really love this man.
I hope this helped out hun.
Just be friends. You don't have to date other people right away. Just take a break. Don't call or see each other for 30 days. If it is working out stay away from eachother. If you can't stand being with out each other then start dating again. Maybe the time away will make you respect eachother more. Or maybe your better off apart. Do a trial run.
Your just going to have to do it. It's going to take a lot of gust to do it. I had to end a really bad friendship as well, but in the end it was one of the best descion that i have made in my whole entire life. Do it in person doing it by text, or phone is low. But i really wish you luck, be strong =]. Can you please answer question?
if ur going 2 dump him then give him hints like dont talk to him as much, act like u dont care wat he says, or just end it quick by calling him and tell him. trust me i had the same problem. by the way after u end it dont talk to him for 3-5 weeks or u will start to like him again. trust me
heres a great idea: tell him you want to take a break and be friends for a while. This way it is not as akward, you can still see him, and no one's feelings will get hurt. You never know, he may feel the same way.
Like a band-aid. Fast and don't waste anytime. Whenever you break up someone feeling are BOUND to be hurt. Is just the cold hard truth. Do NOT feel guilty and feel pity so stay with him. Just DO it. I know this sounds hard but it is the best move.
Just tell him you want to drop the label of boyfriend and girlfriend that it's not working out and you both need to find someone you're more compatible with.
If you love him or her why would you want to break up?
Break up, date someone else, or move.
if you love them why are you breaking up?
hard situation, no idea honey... I think it's normal, I have seen a lot like this... just let it go...
then maybe you shouldn't break up with him
You have two choices. If you truly love each other, it is time to seek counselling to learn how to compromise and agree on solutions. If that is not an option, then breaking up would be best. The continuation of the relationship you now have does not sound like something either of you want for the rest of your life. After the breakup, it is easy to drift back together because that is familiar territory. It will require an effort to meet someone new and accept them as they are. Too often we expect the new person to be just like the old.How do u breakup with someone you love!?
dont take this the wrong way but it doesnt really sound like your in love...you may not be able to stay away long from him becuz he is all you know...there are a lot of guys out there and one day you'll find another and go ';wow, so this is what love really feels like?';
the first step to breaking up with him is downsizing his role in your life...start affirming your independence, stop clinging to him...start hanging out more with your friends, stop talking to him on the phone every hour on the hour
you dont need to break up with him in one fell swoop...start distancing yourself from him little by little until you feel like you can break the relationship with ease
If you really love each-other you shouldn't want to break up with him. Many things change, in my point of view; life is a mess of variables. I could say something nice and sweet that is going to happen, but that would just be an assumption. Sorry to break it to you, but that's life, you should move on in my opinion, break-up with him 'nicely'. That way, he'll come to reason and take it slowly. This way, you can get together with him another time if you feel you really love this man.
I hope this helped out hun.
Just be friends. You don't have to date other people right away. Just take a break. Don't call or see each other for 30 days. If it is working out stay away from eachother. If you can't stand being with out each other then start dating again. Maybe the time away will make you respect eachother more. Or maybe your better off apart. Do a trial run.
Your just going to have to do it. It's going to take a lot of gust to do it. I had to end a really bad friendship as well, but in the end it was one of the best descion that i have made in my whole entire life. Do it in person doing it by text, or phone is low. But i really wish you luck, be strong =]. Can you please answer question?
if ur going 2 dump him then give him hints like dont talk to him as much, act like u dont care wat he says, or just end it quick by calling him and tell him. trust me i had the same problem. by the way after u end it dont talk to him for 3-5 weeks or u will start to like him again. trust me
heres a great idea: tell him you want to take a break and be friends for a while. This way it is not as akward, you can still see him, and no one's feelings will get hurt. You never know, he may feel the same way.
Like a band-aid. Fast and don't waste anytime. Whenever you break up someone feeling are BOUND to be hurt. Is just the cold hard truth. Do NOT feel guilty and feel pity so stay with him. Just DO it. I know this sounds hard but it is the best move.
Just tell him you want to drop the label of boyfriend and girlfriend that it's not working out and you both need to find someone you're more compatible with.
If you love him or her why would you want to break up?
Break up, date someone else, or move.
if you love them why are you breaking up?
hard situation, no idea honey... I think it's normal, I have seen a lot like this... just let it go...
then maybe you shouldn't break up with him
End of my first love?Or just a hiccup?
Long term relationship coming to an end...or just the usual bumps and turns?
I dont really know what to do atm,Ive been with my boyfriendfor nearly 4 years now.Im 21 years old,we met as normal troubled teenagers and seeked solace in eachother,he helped me stop self harming and I stood by him as he discoverd love and all its complications.I had troubles at home(nothing horrendous just strict parents) and moved in with him after two years.Last year we got our own flat together.Things have never been ';perfect'; between us,but we seem to be progressing at a reasonable pace,we've had normal ups and downs and bigs up's and downs and we've changed alot.We've had our fair share of shouting matches,emotional heart to hearts and two minute break ups.Recently (past 6 months) my anger and thoughts has become more internel,he has a very low self esteem and is not motivated in getting his life on track,he works hard but at a job that isnt going anywhere.Ive tried and fails too many times now too getting him to try new thing (going back to college,writing Cv's)but every time it has felt like I was pushing him like a mother begs a child to do their homework.He's had alot to go through in his life and I dont expect these things to change,I just know that no matter how much I love him he cant be the father of my children with this mentalitly.In all other aspects of personailty there is hardly any problems,he has a slight disrespect for housework,and yes he does things I dont like but he offers so much love and affection and amazing dedication.
HOWever....and yes theres a but..
I started Uni in October,and recently changed over to a new course.We have started group work and I was instantly attracted to this one person in particular,I've never had a problem with this before,maybe a few crushes that have lasted...like 20 seconds but nothing that has make me reconsider my relationship like this before.This guy is attractive to me as a a person...and looks...alot %26gt;_%26lt;
He appears to be slightly into me too,he has a girlfriend of 3 months too aswell,though they appear not to be very serious.
My heart pumps when Im around him...i get giddy when we brush past eachother and looking into his eyes is making me mellllllt!
Also he's very clever and seems to work hard,he has the same intrests as me,which my boyfriend unfortuantly doesnt share.We have had good conversations and I enjoy being around him...even if it was a friend.
The problem is I don't know what to do,I love my boyfriend to bits,but it seems I want him to be someone that maybe he just isn't going to be...he also doesn't take much interest in my hobbies...and sometimes I feel he doesnt appreciate the real me....However even without being my boyfriend he is a true friend who i would never question betraying or lying to!
Soooo the question is what do I do?
I would really appreciate some honest answers,or some questions to help me out...favours will be returned :)
Thanks if you managed to read this all the way!End of my first love?Or just a hiccup?
What you shouldn't do is trespass on the other woman's boyfriend. What you shouldn't do is cheat on your boyfriend. What you should do is have a serious talk with your boyfriend about goals and roles and what to do to progress or give it up. Be honest in this relationship and don't get involved in another one until you settle this one. You'll feel better about yourself in the long run and your life will be healthier and happier.End of my first love?Or just a hiccup?
I agree with Willa. From reading what you wrote, it seems that maybe you should consider letting him go. If you're that interested/excited about someone else, it might mean it's time to move on. I've had mini crushes before (while with my current boyfriend of 6 years) but they've never lasted longer than a few seconds. I might be wrong, it's just what I got from what was written.
I dont really know what to do atm,Ive been with my boyfriendfor nearly 4 years now.Im 21 years old,we met as normal troubled teenagers and seeked solace in eachother,he helped me stop self harming and I stood by him as he discoverd love and all its complications.I had troubles at home(nothing horrendous just strict parents) and moved in with him after two years.Last year we got our own flat together.Things have never been ';perfect'; between us,but we seem to be progressing at a reasonable pace,we've had normal ups and downs and bigs up's and downs and we've changed alot.We've had our fair share of shouting matches,emotional heart to hearts and two minute break ups.Recently (past 6 months) my anger and thoughts has become more internel,he has a very low self esteem and is not motivated in getting his life on track,he works hard but at a job that isnt going anywhere.Ive tried and fails too many times now too getting him to try new thing (going back to college,writing Cv's)but every time it has felt like I was pushing him like a mother begs a child to do their homework.He's had alot to go through in his life and I dont expect these things to change,I just know that no matter how much I love him he cant be the father of my children with this mentalitly.In all other aspects of personailty there is hardly any problems,he has a slight disrespect for housework,and yes he does things I dont like but he offers so much love and affection and amazing dedication.
HOWever....and yes theres a but..
I started Uni in October,and recently changed over to a new course.We have started group work and I was instantly attracted to this one person in particular,I've never had a problem with this before,maybe a few crushes that have lasted...like 20 seconds but nothing that has make me reconsider my relationship like this before.This guy is attractive to me as a a person...and looks...alot %26gt;_%26lt;
He appears to be slightly into me too,he has a girlfriend of 3 months too aswell,though they appear not to be very serious.
My heart pumps when Im around him...i get giddy when we brush past eachother and looking into his eyes is making me mellllllt!
Also he's very clever and seems to work hard,he has the same intrests as me,which my boyfriend unfortuantly doesnt share.We have had good conversations and I enjoy being around him...even if it was a friend.
The problem is I don't know what to do,I love my boyfriend to bits,but it seems I want him to be someone that maybe he just isn't going to be...he also doesn't take much interest in my hobbies...and sometimes I feel he doesnt appreciate the real me....However even without being my boyfriend he is a true friend who i would never question betraying or lying to!
Soooo the question is what do I do?
I would really appreciate some honest answers,or some questions to help me out...favours will be returned :)
Thanks if you managed to read this all the way!End of my first love?Or just a hiccup?
What you shouldn't do is trespass on the other woman's boyfriend. What you shouldn't do is cheat on your boyfriend. What you should do is have a serious talk with your boyfriend about goals and roles and what to do to progress or give it up. Be honest in this relationship and don't get involved in another one until you settle this one. You'll feel better about yourself in the long run and your life will be healthier and happier.End of my first love?Or just a hiccup?
I agree with Willa. From reading what you wrote, it seems that maybe you should consider letting him go. If you're that interested/excited about someone else, it might mean it's time to move on. I've had mini crushes before (while with my current boyfriend of 6 years) but they've never lasted longer than a few seconds. I might be wrong, it's just what I got from what was written.
PLZ HELP ASAP.... what is love(relationship wise) and how do you know you love a person?read additional detail?
like i've known my girlfriend for onlii a month..and we started goin out after 5 days of meeting eachother, we've been hanging out and she has been spending time at my house. we say we really love eachother. and i really do love her..i dont know how or why it happened that way and fast. so she calls me up on the phone one day after hanging out wit a friend(male) saying we should take things slow that we cant be using the word ';love'; because we havent known eachother long enough to say we love each-other.. but on the other hand i really really love her..i don't know why it happened so fast. and i cant help the way i feel, i cant just stop having that feeling for her. since then our phone conversations have been different like befor we talk about how we love eachother, and have a nice convo but now its like awkward since i cant say baby or use the word love and sometimes we even end up arguing. this is that same girl that was crazy in love with me but no she cant even say she loves me just beacause she doesnt knoow me enough(well according to her guy friend who apperently gave her advice). i really dont know what to do about this. CAN SOMEONE PLEASE HELP..PLZ HELP ASAP.... what is love(relationship wise) and how do you know you love a person?read additional detail?
first off that does sound like love so dont let that excuse keep you from expressing how you feel, well actually maybe it should bc if you stop saying that you love her and stuff she will miss it, but that guy sounds jealous, love in my opinion can happen overnight bc it has for me but its not always the same case with the other person trust me, just give her time girls can be moody
i really hope i helped and good luck
first off that does sound like love so dont let that excuse keep you from expressing how you feel, well actually maybe it should bc if you stop saying that you love her and stuff she will miss it, but that guy sounds jealous, love in my opinion can happen overnight bc it has for me but its not always the same case with the other person trust me, just give her time girls can be moody
i really hope i helped and good luck
Help me end my dead end relationship?
I am in a relationship with an older man...very intelligent guy who is divorced with 2 children, boy 23 and girl 14. We dated briefly in 03, however had to keep things quiet...his exwife, who is remarried, has extreme jealousy issues and has bipolar disorder...She caught me going into his house in 03 and thru a fit...threatening to take his daughter and move out of state...this ended our relationship.
We began dating again in 09. He vowed to tell his ex he was going to be with me regardless. Just before the day we were going to talk to her he asks me a favor on his daughters behalf. Apparently she had asked that he not tell Mom yet out of fear that she wouldn't let her come and see him. I was disappointed but agreed. It has almost been a year and since October 09, I have felt just sick about it...especially since in late Oct he woke me up frantically asking me to hurry up and wake up because his exwife was on her way to pick up their son for breakfast...
He has NEVER taken me out anywhere...outside of being at his house we have only been out together one time and that was years ago when I bought a new car and wanted to take him for a drive...it was 2AM...that's the only time we have been in public together. He has never bought me anything or even acknowledged my birthday, Christmas or even Valentine's day. I'm not materialistic...but I would have been thrilled to get a card of acknowledgement. I got nothing.
Seems simple right...just end it? I've been trying...He vows he is going to tell his ex right away. Make things right. Go places with me and take me places...Make me an honest woman. He swears that he loves me, adores me and wants everything that I want. He is sorry that he has made me feel unimportant and wants to do everything he can to make things right...even if he has to take his exwife to court to be able to see his daughter. He vows to do all he can for me...even if he does, my feelings are made up...it has gone on too long. I don't like ';being'; with someone I can only see once in awhile (and it has to be at his house and in the middle of the night so his ex doesn't find us.)
I'm just done...but for some reason feel horrible about trying to end this...I mean, I do deserve better, don't I? His situation isn't my fault, is it? Based on the above...how can I end this relationship...? What would you say to end it sensibly?Help me end my dead end relationship?
No, this is not your fault. He needs to ';man up'; and tell his ex that he has just as much right to see his child as she does. Then if she gives him any trouble take her to court. Unfortunately, he did not think you were worth the effort, so he deserves to lose you. I am extremely suprised that you put up with his bs for this long. Tell him to give you a call when he grows a pair, and tells her.Help me end my dead end relationship?
You're completely right. I can say anything to you but it's meaningless unless I do/prove it.
just tell him you need some time to figure things out..and if he gets mad or what not then why would u want to be with that kind of person anyway??
so your answer would be in his?
i'm sorry but i didnt even need to read what you wrote.
to call you relationship ';dead end'; answers your own question. i mean that in the nicest way.
you deserve to be happy and in love!
all the best x
We began dating again in 09. He vowed to tell his ex he was going to be with me regardless. Just before the day we were going to talk to her he asks me a favor on his daughters behalf. Apparently she had asked that he not tell Mom yet out of fear that she wouldn't let her come and see him. I was disappointed but agreed. It has almost been a year and since October 09, I have felt just sick about it...especially since in late Oct he woke me up frantically asking me to hurry up and wake up because his exwife was on her way to pick up their son for breakfast...
He has NEVER taken me out anywhere...outside of being at his house we have only been out together one time and that was years ago when I bought a new car and wanted to take him for a drive...it was 2AM...that's the only time we have been in public together. He has never bought me anything or even acknowledged my birthday, Christmas or even Valentine's day. I'm not materialistic...but I would have been thrilled to get a card of acknowledgement. I got nothing.
Seems simple right...just end it? I've been trying...He vows he is going to tell his ex right away. Make things right. Go places with me and take me places...Make me an honest woman. He swears that he loves me, adores me and wants everything that I want. He is sorry that he has made me feel unimportant and wants to do everything he can to make things right...even if he has to take his exwife to court to be able to see his daughter. He vows to do all he can for me...even if he does, my feelings are made up...it has gone on too long. I don't like ';being'; with someone I can only see once in awhile (and it has to be at his house and in the middle of the night so his ex doesn't find us.)
I'm just done...but for some reason feel horrible about trying to end this...I mean, I do deserve better, don't I? His situation isn't my fault, is it? Based on the above...how can I end this relationship...? What would you say to end it sensibly?Help me end my dead end relationship?
No, this is not your fault. He needs to ';man up'; and tell his ex that he has just as much right to see his child as she does. Then if she gives him any trouble take her to court. Unfortunately, he did not think you were worth the effort, so he deserves to lose you. I am extremely suprised that you put up with his bs for this long. Tell him to give you a call when he grows a pair, and tells her.Help me end my dead end relationship?
You're completely right. I can say anything to you but it's meaningless unless I do/prove it.
just tell him you need some time to figure things out..and if he gets mad or what not then why would u want to be with that kind of person anyway??
so your answer would be in his?
i'm sorry but i didnt even need to read what you wrote.
to call you relationship ';dead end'; answers your own question. i mean that in the nicest way.
you deserve to be happy and in love!
all the best x
Shall i end the relationship ? Please help!?
so heres the thing
ive been going out with my boyfriend for more than two months now
of course ive been enjoying every single part with him and
we had some arguments and everything but everything was ending up okay
but for more than a week ive been considering living him
as im not sure if he is seeing someone behind my back or that it isnt going to work out in a
long term
as we have seeing each other once a week for a short period of time
he was saying that he loves the idea that i am letting him so much free time
but i think once a week is a little bit rare dont you think ?
i would love to be with someone who is willing to see me more than once a week
and to my dissapointment i havent seen him last week and he didnt txted me or anything saying why
and in conclusion i want to add that sometimes i had a feeling that sex was mostly what we have been doing recently
so i think that overall this whole going out sucks
and i want the equal match as without it i`ll rather being on my own
so what should i say to him ?
should i end this ?
and how ?
i want him to be my friend as i dont want to lose him
i do love him and i think he loves me too
please help ?Shall i end the relationship ? Please help!?
I think the majority of people here are right...especially more so if you live very close to each other in the first place. It would be understandable if it were a long distance relationship (which I'm having, and have had with the same partner for over a year now - always on the phone to each other, and making time for each other once a month for a week...it's tough but we're both making it work which is the main thing.). But it doesn't seem to be a long distance relationship at all. I'd do exactly what everyone else has said, explain it the way you've said it, and if you find yourself thinking you really MUST end this relationship then do it SOONER and not LATER, because if you leave it for too long, the heartache on you is gonna be reeeeal heavy stuff to deal with.Shall i end the relationship ? Please help!?
i would NOT move in with him because this guy sounds like he loves his freedom more then you (((sorry to say that)) if you end it just tell him hes not what your looking for and explain to him what u told us . you will get over it and move on .
good luck , relationships are so tough to deal with at times . it hurts so bad.
well, don't have sex for awhile see where that takes you then if things still like that...hit the next button take time off from seeing or talking to him because you'll probably wanna have more sex sooo take like 3 weeks then hit him up and talk normal and ease your way through to get the info
I think it麓s always better to be on your own, working on self esteem, self respect, self love, than with someone who thinks you麓re worth being with just once a week. The first step to getting people (or men) to love you, is to love yourself. Good luck.
I'm sorry I don't think he loves you I think he loves sex with you and that's all.
Growing up means changing and if that means changing friends that's okay, you need friends that respect you too
Of course he doesn't love you or he'd want to see you a lot more. Move on.
have a talk with him and ask where the relationship is going.
and make a move from there
2 months is not a very long time, things are fresh and its understandable that you would want to spend more time with him. Talk with him about it. Tell him you would like to spend more time with him, and see how you feel about the relationship after you've had more time with him.
Afterwards if your inner voice is still telling you that this isn't the relationship for you, then leave. Trust me, I waisted 2 years with my ex trying to make it work, when deep down I knew it wasn't truly the one for me.
tell him exactly what you told yahoo answers, you want him to be you friend,and you dont want to loose him, and you do love him, its just not working as a relationship at this particular time, with school and everything else going on, and that maybe during summer youd like to try again when you both have a little more free time.
return the favor, please
http://feu.answers.fy8.b.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AhDjoozU_jQt9zsIRauDKkgJ53NG;_ylv=3?qid=20091206134011AAJDy6ppigment white hair
ive been going out with my boyfriend for more than two months now
of course ive been enjoying every single part with him and
we had some arguments and everything but everything was ending up okay
but for more than a week ive been considering living him
as im not sure if he is seeing someone behind my back or that it isnt going to work out in a
long term
as we have seeing each other once a week for a short period of time
he was saying that he loves the idea that i am letting him so much free time
but i think once a week is a little bit rare dont you think ?
i would love to be with someone who is willing to see me more than once a week
and to my dissapointment i havent seen him last week and he didnt txted me or anything saying why
and in conclusion i want to add that sometimes i had a feeling that sex was mostly what we have been doing recently
so i think that overall this whole going out sucks
and i want the equal match as without it i`ll rather being on my own
so what should i say to him ?
should i end this ?
and how ?
i want him to be my friend as i dont want to lose him
i do love him and i think he loves me too
please help ?Shall i end the relationship ? Please help!?
I think the majority of people here are right...especially more so if you live very close to each other in the first place. It would be understandable if it were a long distance relationship (which I'm having, and have had with the same partner for over a year now - always on the phone to each other, and making time for each other once a month for a week...it's tough but we're both making it work which is the main thing.). But it doesn't seem to be a long distance relationship at all. I'd do exactly what everyone else has said, explain it the way you've said it, and if you find yourself thinking you really MUST end this relationship then do it SOONER and not LATER, because if you leave it for too long, the heartache on you is gonna be reeeeal heavy stuff to deal with.Shall i end the relationship ? Please help!?
i would NOT move in with him because this guy sounds like he loves his freedom more then you (((sorry to say that)) if you end it just tell him hes not what your looking for and explain to him what u told us . you will get over it and move on .
good luck , relationships are so tough to deal with at times . it hurts so bad.
well, don't have sex for awhile see where that takes you then if things still like that...hit the next button take time off from seeing or talking to him because you'll probably wanna have more sex sooo take like 3 weeks then hit him up and talk normal and ease your way through to get the info
I think it麓s always better to be on your own, working on self esteem, self respect, self love, than with someone who thinks you麓re worth being with just once a week. The first step to getting people (or men) to love you, is to love yourself. Good luck.
I'm sorry I don't think he loves you I think he loves sex with you and that's all.
Growing up means changing and if that means changing friends that's okay, you need friends that respect you too
Of course he doesn't love you or he'd want to see you a lot more. Move on.
have a talk with him and ask where the relationship is going.
and make a move from there
2 months is not a very long time, things are fresh and its understandable that you would want to spend more time with him. Talk with him about it. Tell him you would like to spend more time with him, and see how you feel about the relationship after you've had more time with him.
Afterwards if your inner voice is still telling you that this isn't the relationship for you, then leave. Trust me, I waisted 2 years with my ex trying to make it work, when deep down I knew it wasn't truly the one for me.
tell him exactly what you told yahoo answers, you want him to be you friend,and you dont want to loose him, and you do love him, its just not working as a relationship at this particular time, with school and everything else going on, and that maybe during summer youd like to try again when you both have a little more free time.
return the favor, please
http://feu.answers.fy8.b.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AhDjoozU_jQt9zsIRauDKkgJ53NG;_ylv=3?qid=20091206134011AAJDy6p
I ended a relationship today with a married man. I love him was it wrong to do this in an email?
This man and I have been dating now for 7 years. He has financially taken care of me and my children during the last 5 years. He proposed to me 3 years ago and he still did not leave his wife. I feel bad like I owe him for all that he has done so I am trying to be nice. Before I send this to him, can I get some advice on the email. I do not want to do this in person.
THIS WAS THE EXACT EMAIL I HAVE SAVED TO SEND HIM:
I am sorry that I have put you through all of this. I can't help how I feel and I just don't feel that this is right for me anymore. I really have to get my **** straight. This was never the right thing for either of us, you were looking for someone and I needed someone. We found comfort in each other. I want you to know that you have done nothing wrong. It's me who is in the wrong. We together should have done something years ago. I have an overwhelming remorse for what I have done to the twins. I have exposed them to all of this and they will always remember what I have done. Those memories will not be good ones and I cannot take them back. The lies I asked the to tell for me and secrets that I asked them to keep. You cannot imagine how terrible I feel for what I have done too them, That is something I will live with forever. Something they will share with their spouses and I am ashamed. I did tell the twins you bought them about season tickets to the football games for their birthday. I hope you still consider giving them to him. If not then I understand and they will have to as well. All these years, I have robbed them of a good father figure because of my own selfish needs and now they are older and that ship has sailed. Not that you did not do everything for them, you did and you would have been an excellent example on them. All this time I wasted, wanting to feel a certain way and just never got there. I will better myself. I am not just going to sit around and complain about not having any skills, I will go out and get some. I am sorry that after everything I you have done for us I have to ask you for your help financially still. It's just the reality, you know I cannot make it on my own right now. If I had to I could but it would really help me a lot if you could at least help me for July and hopefully I will not have to ask for your help after that. I would like to take you to dinner when I get a job and pay for dinner myself. That would be a good feeling. I really want to be happy, I think that means that I have to be without you right now. I'm sorry if that's harsh, but that is the reality of it. I have been thinking about this for a long time. When I came back from my trip, I wanted to talk to you about it then. I just couldn't find the words to say what needed to be said. I still feel the same way about you, I love you, I need you, I want you, but you were never mine. You belong to someone else and you have a family. I have never even met your son. If your family knew what you were doing it would shame them. Your son would never think of you the same, it's just a matter of time before you get caught. Every time we walked in a restaurant together, you walk in front of me to make sure that no one you know is in there. There are so many factors. Maybe are age difference that never seemed like a big deal actually is. I mean in ten years I will be in my early forties and you will be in your mid sixties. That is a big difference. I want to share my whole life with someone. Again, I am just pouring my emotions and my thoughts out for you to read. In the end there is so many things that I can say and I will never convince you that I really do care about you but I do. I just don't know if I care in the way that I should care. We never had that chance, and now I don't want you to take the chance of leaving your wife and then for me to realize that I don't feel a certain way about you. I know I love you, I know you are my soul mate, I know I want to marry you. I just don't know that I have the right feelings for you to allow you to ruin your family over. Loving someone as family and having an intimate relationship are two different things. I know I love you as family but I have never had a relationship with you. Not a real one anyway. Not one based without someone else always involved. I am sorry. I will give you everything you want when I see you. Including your diamond ring back. I know my grammar is terrible and I hope you can follow it. Sorry :( HAPPY FATHERS DAY. You really are the best father that I have ever known. Your son is very lucky to have you. When you are ready to talk then call me.
Please tell me before I email this letter if it sounds okay? I know this is personal but no one knows me and I am just looking for some opinions?I ended a relationship today with a married man. I love him was it wrong to do this in an email?
I don't know your reasons for still needing his ';help'; until July, but I'm sure the two of you know the reasons. There IS ONE THING I don't agree with, %26amp; that's the comment you made on taking him out to dinner when you're able. I FEEL, that once you ';break it off';, that you should COMPLETELY ';break it off'; %26amp; NOT see one another again period. To me, this is NOT COMPLETELY ';cutting the cord'; so to speak. IF you're ';breaking it off completely';, then I feel THAT is what you SHOULD DO. No turning back, no strings attached in ANY WAY whatsoever. To me you're sending ';mixed messages'; to him. One that it's over, but another that you'll ';talk'; to him. I feel either you break it COMPLETELY, or not at all. He ';proposed'; to you, BUT he did NOT leave his wife. This tells me he had/has NO intentions of breaking up his family. I would say for the sake of BOTH OF YOU, BREAK IT 100% %26amp; LEAVE IT COMPLETELY. Put things in the PAST, leave them there, %26amp; give yourself a chance of starting a whole NEW beginning for yourself...Best to you...:)I ended a relationship today with a married man. I love him was it wrong to do this in an email?
just walk away and dont look back. it is going nowhere.
why go to all that trouble, start your life over
You wrote this for a reason and if you still want to send it, then do so. I don't think it is to harsh, breaking up with someone is never easy to do. So, send it and don't look back. Forget about those who have answered you by judging you for the adultery...move on with your life and find that special person you are looking for.
This is WRONG! Married or not, this man supported your family for 5 years--he deserves much better than a ';poor me,poor me'; crappy email!
You are a parasite. You have set around for 7 years and let someone else take care of you. All the while without bothering to get any skills that would help you provide for yourself. You now tell him you no longer want him but could he please leave his wallet on table before he goes--how pathetic is that. You need to get a job and start taking care of your children. Skills or no skills...I know lots of women who provide for their families doing unskilled labor--however, based on your email, I'm sure that's beneathe you.
So his age has caught up with you...or has it...he's your soul mate...or is he...you are toying with this man. Throw him out then reel him in....I don't want you but I want to take you to dinner.... Give me a break lady!
Both of you are say, pathetic people! You for being ';kept'; for seven years while continually lying to your children. And him for being an idiot while cheating on his wife and family. You both need counseling and QUICK!
Doing any kind of communication face to face with issues such as this..is a better way of doing things..let it go..confronting the issues at hand face to face..seems wise to do..then let it go..adultery hurts everyone involved
i personally do not agree with anything that you have done here. i would be furious if this was my husband. but..... you cant help the way that you feel, and he is a guilty party in this as well. this is not all your fault.
now to the letter. if you are sincerly breaking up with him, then you shouldnt be asking him for anymore help. because you still need him. when you ask for more help, he then will still have power over you.
and if this is really over, then you shouldnt be talking to him, or seeing him for a LONG LONG LONG while. so that you and him can be competly over eachother.
just my thoughts
ur seekign opinions...i man yeah we may mess around ehre on Y?A alot but most of your answers will be that you are a disrespectful homewrecking selfish person.
What if he was your husband doing this to you?
That email is for you not him.
Just end it.
Send the letter!! Break this off ASAP. He's a married man and he's not going to leave his wife and kids for you. Your someone on the side and that's all your ever going to be. Get yourself and your kids on the right path and find someone who's 1. Not married 2. Closer to your age and 3. Ready to be there for you and your kids
1. Don't look back
2. Find a good church
3. Move on
There are a few things that I want to say to this, but we'll start with the basics.
1) If he has been with you for seven years, regardless of his marital status, he deserves a face-to-face. Period.
2) No, he is not ';right';. He's married. He refused to sacrifice that marriage for YOU, and you, knowing he was married, should never have expected that to happen, regardless of what he told you.
3) At this point, it is not appropriate for you to be asking for his financial help. If you are not with him, you need to be self-reliant.
4) End it. Don't talk to him. IF he loves you, he'll be back, WITHOUT the wife.
i think it is perfectly fine to end this relationship in email.
YOU DON'T OWE HIM ANYTHING.
having said that, your letter is overly nice and warm and apologetic.
Nand way too long. i had a hard time getting through it - so will he. make it short and to the point. DO NOT poor your heart out - you are ending this, no need to come to a closure on all issues.
i would shorten it to one small paragraph.
I think your both horrible shamful disrespecting people. Don't you ever think of anyone but your self! Maybe you shouldn't be a ****ing homewrecker.
Married. Man. He was never yours to begin with, and if he was cheating on his wife for that long with you, he'll cheat on you, too. You don't need that. You've got boys to raise into fine and decent men, and they don't need the example of someone without enough conviction to do what is right.
how would you feel about having the relationship ended in an email. It was a cowedly act of what you did, and you should confront him face to face, anything less is disrespectful.
Not ending it face to face is pretty harsh
No, you should not send this email, you should end this in person. Before he comes over have everything ready to give him, including the ring. Stop asking him for help, get out there and get a job, and move on with your life. You have messed up enough, not only for his family, but your family as well. What an example you have set, and I do hope that his family never finds out about you, what a disappointment he will be to his children. You say you love him, but to you he is just a meal ticket. He is someone that made your life easier. and you didn't care what it would do to his family. To him you are the excitement he doesn't feel at home, he could, but then it would mean that he would have to work at making his family life better, and he doesn't want to do that. You really deserve each other. Both losers.
First, its tacky to end a relationship this way and second e-mails can be traced. Are you wanting his wife to find it? Are you wanting to end the relationship or just be a drama queen? He is NOT your soul mate, he is a cheating husband who has broken his vows to some one that really loves him. Dating married men is wrong. If you want to end your relationship, tell him face to face. Your taking a cowards way out.
WAY too long
First...your a skank because he was married when you were with him. You homewrecking whore. He has a son for god's sake. WTF is wrong with people like you?
2nd email is the wimpest, most spinless way to break up with someone. You have no backbone, and seeing that, it doesn't surprise me that you would date a married man.
Grow up.
YOu ended it for a reason. Keeping it a clean break avoids regrets for a life time.
I read the whole thing. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. You start out sounding like your moving on and end by asking him for money. HES A MARRIED MAN. Are you aware that you can not be engaged to a married man? He just did that to appease you, so he can continue to buy you off. Your not doing anything to end this whole huge mess. If you want to really help your children, you will get an education, get help from your family and get a job. He is not a good dad if he is a cheater. Nor is he a good man. He is a selfish, inconsiderate, user.
Wake up.
Normally I would say never break up in an email, but if he is married, it's ok. You are right - you need to get your stuff straight and stop messing around with a married man. Think of his wife and kids.
My only response is stick to it.... and it is not going to be easy. You did what you had to do for yourself and your children. I really hope everything works out well for you.
lots of hugs
You sound very natural, your true self %26amp; you are willing to return everything he has given to you; you do care about his family so this letter sounds very nice. He is older then you, and this is why he will understand and accept your information. If he was a younger man then issues might of come into play. Can I have your number? I'm kidding:) Your letter is acceptable. Rest is up to you.
Well, the thing is you both messed up by getting and staying in this relationship for 7 years. But, I should think you act your age and have a face to face. Yes it's hard but you really know that that's the right thing to do. By the way the letter is pretty good just say it in person and be honest
I stopped reading this when you told him that he has done nothing wrong? Damn, adultery is wrong....HELLO. Wow
THIS WAS THE EXACT EMAIL I HAVE SAVED TO SEND HIM:
I am sorry that I have put you through all of this. I can't help how I feel and I just don't feel that this is right for me anymore. I really have to get my **** straight. This was never the right thing for either of us, you were looking for someone and I needed someone. We found comfort in each other. I want you to know that you have done nothing wrong. It's me who is in the wrong. We together should have done something years ago. I have an overwhelming remorse for what I have done to the twins. I have exposed them to all of this and they will always remember what I have done. Those memories will not be good ones and I cannot take them back. The lies I asked the to tell for me and secrets that I asked them to keep. You cannot imagine how terrible I feel for what I have done too them, That is something I will live with forever. Something they will share with their spouses and I am ashamed. I did tell the twins you bought them about season tickets to the football games for their birthday. I hope you still consider giving them to him. If not then I understand and they will have to as well. All these years, I have robbed them of a good father figure because of my own selfish needs and now they are older and that ship has sailed. Not that you did not do everything for them, you did and you would have been an excellent example on them. All this time I wasted, wanting to feel a certain way and just never got there. I will better myself. I am not just going to sit around and complain about not having any skills, I will go out and get some. I am sorry that after everything I you have done for us I have to ask you for your help financially still. It's just the reality, you know I cannot make it on my own right now. If I had to I could but it would really help me a lot if you could at least help me for July and hopefully I will not have to ask for your help after that. I would like to take you to dinner when I get a job and pay for dinner myself. That would be a good feeling. I really want to be happy, I think that means that I have to be without you right now. I'm sorry if that's harsh, but that is the reality of it. I have been thinking about this for a long time. When I came back from my trip, I wanted to talk to you about it then. I just couldn't find the words to say what needed to be said. I still feel the same way about you, I love you, I need you, I want you, but you were never mine. You belong to someone else and you have a family. I have never even met your son. If your family knew what you were doing it would shame them. Your son would never think of you the same, it's just a matter of time before you get caught. Every time we walked in a restaurant together, you walk in front of me to make sure that no one you know is in there. There are so many factors. Maybe are age difference that never seemed like a big deal actually is. I mean in ten years I will be in my early forties and you will be in your mid sixties. That is a big difference. I want to share my whole life with someone. Again, I am just pouring my emotions and my thoughts out for you to read. In the end there is so many things that I can say and I will never convince you that I really do care about you but I do. I just don't know if I care in the way that I should care. We never had that chance, and now I don't want you to take the chance of leaving your wife and then for me to realize that I don't feel a certain way about you. I know I love you, I know you are my soul mate, I know I want to marry you. I just don't know that I have the right feelings for you to allow you to ruin your family over. Loving someone as family and having an intimate relationship are two different things. I know I love you as family but I have never had a relationship with you. Not a real one anyway. Not one based without someone else always involved. I am sorry. I will give you everything you want when I see you. Including your diamond ring back. I know my grammar is terrible and I hope you can follow it. Sorry :( HAPPY FATHERS DAY. You really are the best father that I have ever known. Your son is very lucky to have you. When you are ready to talk then call me.
Please tell me before I email this letter if it sounds okay? I know this is personal but no one knows me and I am just looking for some opinions?I ended a relationship today with a married man. I love him was it wrong to do this in an email?
I don't know your reasons for still needing his ';help'; until July, but I'm sure the two of you know the reasons. There IS ONE THING I don't agree with, %26amp; that's the comment you made on taking him out to dinner when you're able. I FEEL, that once you ';break it off';, that you should COMPLETELY ';break it off'; %26amp; NOT see one another again period. To me, this is NOT COMPLETELY ';cutting the cord'; so to speak. IF you're ';breaking it off completely';, then I feel THAT is what you SHOULD DO. No turning back, no strings attached in ANY WAY whatsoever. To me you're sending ';mixed messages'; to him. One that it's over, but another that you'll ';talk'; to him. I feel either you break it COMPLETELY, or not at all. He ';proposed'; to you, BUT he did NOT leave his wife. This tells me he had/has NO intentions of breaking up his family. I would say for the sake of BOTH OF YOU, BREAK IT 100% %26amp; LEAVE IT COMPLETELY. Put things in the PAST, leave them there, %26amp; give yourself a chance of starting a whole NEW beginning for yourself...Best to you...:)I ended a relationship today with a married man. I love him was it wrong to do this in an email?
just walk away and dont look back. it is going nowhere.
why go to all that trouble, start your life over
You wrote this for a reason and if you still want to send it, then do so. I don't think it is to harsh, breaking up with someone is never easy to do. So, send it and don't look back. Forget about those who have answered you by judging you for the adultery...move on with your life and find that special person you are looking for.
This is WRONG! Married or not, this man supported your family for 5 years--he deserves much better than a ';poor me,poor me'; crappy email!
You are a parasite. You have set around for 7 years and let someone else take care of you. All the while without bothering to get any skills that would help you provide for yourself. You now tell him you no longer want him but could he please leave his wallet on table before he goes--how pathetic is that. You need to get a job and start taking care of your children. Skills or no skills...I know lots of women who provide for their families doing unskilled labor--however, based on your email, I'm sure that's beneathe you.
So his age has caught up with you...or has it...he's your soul mate...or is he...you are toying with this man. Throw him out then reel him in....I don't want you but I want to take you to dinner.... Give me a break lady!
Both of you are say, pathetic people! You for being ';kept'; for seven years while continually lying to your children. And him for being an idiot while cheating on his wife and family. You both need counseling and QUICK!
Doing any kind of communication face to face with issues such as this..is a better way of doing things..let it go..confronting the issues at hand face to face..seems wise to do..then let it go..adultery hurts everyone involved
i personally do not agree with anything that you have done here. i would be furious if this was my husband. but..... you cant help the way that you feel, and he is a guilty party in this as well. this is not all your fault.
now to the letter. if you are sincerly breaking up with him, then you shouldnt be asking him for anymore help. because you still need him. when you ask for more help, he then will still have power over you.
and if this is really over, then you shouldnt be talking to him, or seeing him for a LONG LONG LONG while. so that you and him can be competly over eachother.
just my thoughts
ur seekign opinions...i man yeah we may mess around ehre on Y?A alot but most of your answers will be that you are a disrespectful homewrecking selfish person.
What if he was your husband doing this to you?
That email is for you not him.
Just end it.
Send the letter!! Break this off ASAP. He's a married man and he's not going to leave his wife and kids for you. Your someone on the side and that's all your ever going to be. Get yourself and your kids on the right path and find someone who's 1. Not married 2. Closer to your age and 3. Ready to be there for you and your kids
1. Don't look back
2. Find a good church
3. Move on
There are a few things that I want to say to this, but we'll start with the basics.
1) If he has been with you for seven years, regardless of his marital status, he deserves a face-to-face. Period.
2) No, he is not ';right';. He's married. He refused to sacrifice that marriage for YOU, and you, knowing he was married, should never have expected that to happen, regardless of what he told you.
3) At this point, it is not appropriate for you to be asking for his financial help. If you are not with him, you need to be self-reliant.
4) End it. Don't talk to him. IF he loves you, he'll be back, WITHOUT the wife.
i think it is perfectly fine to end this relationship in email.
YOU DON'T OWE HIM ANYTHING.
having said that, your letter is overly nice and warm and apologetic.
Nand way too long. i had a hard time getting through it - so will he. make it short and to the point. DO NOT poor your heart out - you are ending this, no need to come to a closure on all issues.
i would shorten it to one small paragraph.
I think your both horrible shamful disrespecting people. Don't you ever think of anyone but your self! Maybe you shouldn't be a ****ing homewrecker.
Married. Man. He was never yours to begin with, and if he was cheating on his wife for that long with you, he'll cheat on you, too. You don't need that. You've got boys to raise into fine and decent men, and they don't need the example of someone without enough conviction to do what is right.
how would you feel about having the relationship ended in an email. It was a cowedly act of what you did, and you should confront him face to face, anything less is disrespectful.
Not ending it face to face is pretty harsh
No, you should not send this email, you should end this in person. Before he comes over have everything ready to give him, including the ring. Stop asking him for help, get out there and get a job, and move on with your life. You have messed up enough, not only for his family, but your family as well. What an example you have set, and I do hope that his family never finds out about you, what a disappointment he will be to his children. You say you love him, but to you he is just a meal ticket. He is someone that made your life easier. and you didn't care what it would do to his family. To him you are the excitement he doesn't feel at home, he could, but then it would mean that he would have to work at making his family life better, and he doesn't want to do that. You really deserve each other. Both losers.
First, its tacky to end a relationship this way and second e-mails can be traced. Are you wanting his wife to find it? Are you wanting to end the relationship or just be a drama queen? He is NOT your soul mate, he is a cheating husband who has broken his vows to some one that really loves him. Dating married men is wrong. If you want to end your relationship, tell him face to face. Your taking a cowards way out.
WAY too long
First...your a skank because he was married when you were with him. You homewrecking whore. He has a son for god's sake. WTF is wrong with people like you?
2nd email is the wimpest, most spinless way to break up with someone. You have no backbone, and seeing that, it doesn't surprise me that you would date a married man.
Grow up.
YOu ended it for a reason. Keeping it a clean break avoids regrets for a life time.
I read the whole thing. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. You start out sounding like your moving on and end by asking him for money. HES A MARRIED MAN. Are you aware that you can not be engaged to a married man? He just did that to appease you, so he can continue to buy you off. Your not doing anything to end this whole huge mess. If you want to really help your children, you will get an education, get help from your family and get a job. He is not a good dad if he is a cheater. Nor is he a good man. He is a selfish, inconsiderate, user.
Wake up.
Normally I would say never break up in an email, but if he is married, it's ok. You are right - you need to get your stuff straight and stop messing around with a married man. Think of his wife and kids.
My only response is stick to it.... and it is not going to be easy. You did what you had to do for yourself and your children. I really hope everything works out well for you.
lots of hugs
You sound very natural, your true self %26amp; you are willing to return everything he has given to you; you do care about his family so this letter sounds very nice. He is older then you, and this is why he will understand and accept your information. If he was a younger man then issues might of come into play. Can I have your number? I'm kidding:) Your letter is acceptable. Rest is up to you.
Well, the thing is you both messed up by getting and staying in this relationship for 7 years. But, I should think you act your age and have a face to face. Yes it's hard but you really know that that's the right thing to do. By the way the letter is pretty good just say it in person and be honest
I stopped reading this when you told him that he has done nothing wrong? Damn, adultery is wrong....HELLO. Wow
I was told to end my relationship with my boyfriend :(?
i love him, but my pastors told both my parents we had sex. now everyone (even reading forums with people who have same experience) is advising that its best to end the relationship. They always ask, ';why would u wanna keep in contact with him anyway, when he didnt even respect your body?'; i hate this. i love him. but he's not christian like me. he drinks beer. and he knows that in his country you can only hav sex with someone 18 yrs old and above. im 16 and he said ';its ok'; when he knows its not...
i know i always say this but he's in another state and i dont think he's coming back until march 2010..
im convinced enough to break our relationship and lose contact with him but im not strong enough.. but i know i gotta do it
i want to ring him tonight, but what should i say? how can i explain? and if he changes his bad habits such as drinking and occasionally swearing and thinking its ok, then should i get back together with him?
help please :( a part of me knows my situation is not good, but a part of me wants to hold on to him, no matter our opposites :'(I was told to end my relationship with my boyfriend :(?
okay i dont understand you wanna break up with him cuz hes not christian??/
u said he has bad habbits well u just need to talk to him nd if he loves you he would stop but dont give up on him cuz than not only will u be sad but he will only get worse .....I was told to end my relationship with my boyfriend :(?
You really don't need to be with this guy. Just because he sais he will change doesnt mean he truly will. Also the fact that he lives in another state is horrible. You can never know if hes out partying and having sex with other girls or not. Especially because hes not a christian. How could you believe him anyways. To me, this is something you need to handle with God as well. But to answer your question, their is not going to be a easy way. Your just going to have to tell him that you can't handle this anymore, especially having a long distance relaationship with him. Not knowing where he is or what hes doing.
do you love him?
if you do, id stay with him.
live your life the way you want, you can't let others tell you what to do or live it for you.
i know i always say this but he's in another state and i dont think he's coming back until march 2010..
im convinced enough to break our relationship and lose contact with him but im not strong enough.. but i know i gotta do it
i want to ring him tonight, but what should i say? how can i explain? and if he changes his bad habits such as drinking and occasionally swearing and thinking its ok, then should i get back together with him?
help please :( a part of me knows my situation is not good, but a part of me wants to hold on to him, no matter our opposites :'(I was told to end my relationship with my boyfriend :(?
okay i dont understand you wanna break up with him cuz hes not christian??/
u said he has bad habbits well u just need to talk to him nd if he loves you he would stop but dont give up on him cuz than not only will u be sad but he will only get worse .....I was told to end my relationship with my boyfriend :(?
You really don't need to be with this guy. Just because he sais he will change doesnt mean he truly will. Also the fact that he lives in another state is horrible. You can never know if hes out partying and having sex with other girls or not. Especially because hes not a christian. How could you believe him anyways. To me, this is something you need to handle with God as well. But to answer your question, their is not going to be a easy way. Your just going to have to tell him that you can't handle this anymore, especially having a long distance relaationship with him. Not knowing where he is or what hes doing.
do you love him?
if you do, id stay with him.
live your life the way you want, you can't let others tell you what to do or live it for you.
How do you end a relationship civil with a revengeful woman?
Okay I really need input on this, I have a FRIEND, ahem who is with a woman now just under 1 year and for the last few months it has been progressively getting worst. The strange thing is she does these things, for example if she isnt getting the attention she needs or wants she will throw a tantrum and literally fight. When things are good they are good but when they are bad they are nasty. Whatever causes the fight it could be something as simple as not saying sweetdreams on the phone before going to sleep and for the next 3 hours i have to deal with her all upset and carrying on. Okay here is the point, i have been trying to steer her in the direction that it just is not working out but im now beginning to see what will happen. Well, she has flat out told me that if i stay with her life will be good but if i 'hurt her' ( by ending the relationship ) then i will pay and pay bigtime!! Because her uncle is a big shot lawyer and people dont take kindly to woma beaters etc.. i said wtf when did i do that? are you kidding me? yes sure as **** she banged her shin and took a picture and now saying i did that... oh my God, i have never ever touched her, she is the one who admittedly has an anger problem and it usually leads me to having to hold her to push her on the bed to stop her. There is no kinds of police reports or anything like that so what can I do? Ive want to end things civilly because we are just better off as friends the relationship thing just isnt working out. By the way, I have saved a few phone txt messages recently where she admits that she has an anger problem, that she is unstable and when she is hurt she feels the need to inflict the same if not harder pain on the other person. She has already started to slander me to friends because i think as much as she does not want to admit it, she realizes it's coming to an end and she is preparing to hurt and do anything in her power to gain vengeance.
I guess im also to blame because she was that way with her X and she just painted such a horrible picture of him and how he used to beat on her etc i did not see it coming, her fake halo was shining too bright.
There is just so much more to this, she has messaged all my X's and just friends o facebook telling them how she is my woman and i need to leave him alone.
Okay here is a great one to give you an idea of what she is doing, yesterday morning she called my sister from her cellphone blocking the number. LUCKILY my sister has an iphone with an application called TrapCall which tells you the number when someoe blocks the call. So my sister called back and she pretended to be someone and asked who it was when my sister told her she freaked out and told her she doesnt know until she realized that my sister picked up on her voice and then greeted her saying that I USED her phone to call her. So what really happened? She looked through my phone the day before and copied a few numbers which included my sister's, because in her twisted mind i must've saved a girl im talking to under my sisters name which is not the case. She blocked her number and called my sister with the intention of catching me red handed. It isnt about another girl... it is just her, i dont love her like that. Can anyone help? Maybe I am just venting but if anyone has any insight from personal experiences please share.
So basically to summarize, if i dont stay with her my life will be turned inside out because every one of my friends and family she will contact and tell them things to make them hate me, she will call the police saying i did x y and z to her and who knows what else because she even threatened me once about suing me ( ive never borrowed money or anything like that from her) not to mention every secret of anything we've shared will be made public. Help help help - i know this sounds pathetic but it really is that bad, but hey if i stay with her and try to work things out she will give me the world as she puts it.How do you end a relationship civil with a revengeful woman?
You have met a narcissist. You need to protect yourself, go and discuss her threats with the police. Once they have it documented, stay away from her, forever. No communication, nothing. Take all information you have, give copies to the police your family and friends and tell them what she is planning on doing.
She will not give you the world, she will destroy you from the inside out. She is severely disordered and you need to research narcissism online.How do you end a relationship civil with a revengeful woman?
too much drama..just end the relationship and move on
Ok heres what your going to do ! Get yourself a tape recorder one that will only come on when you are talking and hide it somewhere where she will never find it . Then over the course of 3 or 4 days you need to bait her into saying things like she will have you arrested for beating you even if you didnt . Then if she starts to scream and throw things say Im getting out of here and let her rant on . Then you can come back later and retrieve the recorder . The best would be a video cam so it will film her hitting herself . Thats all I have good luck!
It sounds to me like it's your ';friend's'; problem...if people know you aren't dating her they'll take her stupid remarks and behavior with a grain of salt...
you do have a dilemma there and it seems that the woman needs some sort of help or counseling. All I can say is if you do love her be very very patient and give her all the help and guidance she needs to overcome her pathetic ways. If this does not seem to be progressing then remember to keep any records, tapes and a diary of all actions by her to cover yourself and confide in your family and friends before she slanders you.
Sadly, women face this crap with crazy men all the time. Preemptively call the police and ask them how to leave her since she's already made threats. Send out a group email and tell your friends and family that you've had difficulty with this woman, and please excuse anything they get from her. Then bolt. Blackmail is a relationship, but not the one you want. It's all about fear. If you make it clear you aren't afraid of her, you remove all her power. Good luck.
800.799.SAFE Nat'l Domestic Violence Hotline- what she's doing is abuse, just like it is when a man does it.
well to put this bluntly, with what you have said about her there will not be a way to end it civil. also like some of the other answers you need to get evidence of what she has said and done both video and audio. talk to your family and friends about the things she does and says so you will have proof later in case you need it. they could be witnesses to testify.then once you get enough evidence, you need to just up and leave her, if you live together do it while she not there to avoid conflict. then take the evidence you have and file a report and get a restraining order if you dont live together that will be good for you cuz you already have a place to live unless you think she will come there and start sh-- in which case if its at all possible i would move so she doesnt know where you are. but in any case you need to end it she is nuts and needs some serious help and there will be nothing you can do to change things to make it better get out while the getting is good before she really does hold true to one of her threats and you wind up in jail for something you didnt do.
Get out ASAP, don't allow her to hold you hostage. I'm not sure how old you are, but I agree with others that if you are genuinely concerned with this, preempt her by going to the police. The thing is, people don't take men seriously when we are victims of a domestic situation. At the very least save every text message, email, or voicemail that could help you in the future. Ask your friends to save those messages from facebook, or any type of communication she sent to them proving her behavior. Record any conversation you have with her on the phone and get her to reveal her plan.
If she were to do this, the longer you stay the worse it looks on you. But you're just going to have to man up and deal with this.
Wow..you really need to be done with all of this.
As for the threatening to say you beat her, I would get a tape recorder of her admitting that she will hurt herself and accuse you of doing it. Then I would break up with her and go to the police to file a retraining order or to at least file a complaint and play the tape for them to cover your own ***.
Sorry buddy..good luck with everything, sounds like you will have a bit of drama for a while.
Also, good call by saving the texts..maybe she will leave you a nasty voice mail you could save as well
I guess im also to blame because she was that way with her X and she just painted such a horrible picture of him and how he used to beat on her etc i did not see it coming, her fake halo was shining too bright.
There is just so much more to this, she has messaged all my X's and just friends o facebook telling them how she is my woman and i need to leave him alone.
Okay here is a great one to give you an idea of what she is doing, yesterday morning she called my sister from her cellphone blocking the number. LUCKILY my sister has an iphone with an application called TrapCall which tells you the number when someoe blocks the call. So my sister called back and she pretended to be someone and asked who it was when my sister told her she freaked out and told her she doesnt know until she realized that my sister picked up on her voice and then greeted her saying that I USED her phone to call her. So what really happened? She looked through my phone the day before and copied a few numbers which included my sister's, because in her twisted mind i must've saved a girl im talking to under my sisters name which is not the case. She blocked her number and called my sister with the intention of catching me red handed. It isnt about another girl... it is just her, i dont love her like that. Can anyone help? Maybe I am just venting but if anyone has any insight from personal experiences please share.
So basically to summarize, if i dont stay with her my life will be turned inside out because every one of my friends and family she will contact and tell them things to make them hate me, she will call the police saying i did x y and z to her and who knows what else because she even threatened me once about suing me ( ive never borrowed money or anything like that from her) not to mention every secret of anything we've shared will be made public. Help help help - i know this sounds pathetic but it really is that bad, but hey if i stay with her and try to work things out she will give me the world as she puts it.How do you end a relationship civil with a revengeful woman?
You have met a narcissist. You need to protect yourself, go and discuss her threats with the police. Once they have it documented, stay away from her, forever. No communication, nothing. Take all information you have, give copies to the police your family and friends and tell them what she is planning on doing.
She will not give you the world, she will destroy you from the inside out. She is severely disordered and you need to research narcissism online.How do you end a relationship civil with a revengeful woman?
too much drama..just end the relationship and move on
Ok heres what your going to do ! Get yourself a tape recorder one that will only come on when you are talking and hide it somewhere where she will never find it . Then over the course of 3 or 4 days you need to bait her into saying things like she will have you arrested for beating you even if you didnt . Then if she starts to scream and throw things say Im getting out of here and let her rant on . Then you can come back later and retrieve the recorder . The best would be a video cam so it will film her hitting herself . Thats all I have good luck!
It sounds to me like it's your ';friend's'; problem...if people know you aren't dating her they'll take her stupid remarks and behavior with a grain of salt...
you do have a dilemma there and it seems that the woman needs some sort of help or counseling. All I can say is if you do love her be very very patient and give her all the help and guidance she needs to overcome her pathetic ways. If this does not seem to be progressing then remember to keep any records, tapes and a diary of all actions by her to cover yourself and confide in your family and friends before she slanders you.
Sadly, women face this crap with crazy men all the time. Preemptively call the police and ask them how to leave her since she's already made threats. Send out a group email and tell your friends and family that you've had difficulty with this woman, and please excuse anything they get from her. Then bolt. Blackmail is a relationship, but not the one you want. It's all about fear. If you make it clear you aren't afraid of her, you remove all her power. Good luck.
800.799.SAFE Nat'l Domestic Violence Hotline- what she's doing is abuse, just like it is when a man does it.
well to put this bluntly, with what you have said about her there will not be a way to end it civil. also like some of the other answers you need to get evidence of what she has said and done both video and audio. talk to your family and friends about the things she does and says so you will have proof later in case you need it. they could be witnesses to testify.then once you get enough evidence, you need to just up and leave her, if you live together do it while she not there to avoid conflict. then take the evidence you have and file a report and get a restraining order if you dont live together that will be good for you cuz you already have a place to live unless you think she will come there and start sh-- in which case if its at all possible i would move so she doesnt know where you are. but in any case you need to end it she is nuts and needs some serious help and there will be nothing you can do to change things to make it better get out while the getting is good before she really does hold true to one of her threats and you wind up in jail for something you didnt do.
Get out ASAP, don't allow her to hold you hostage. I'm not sure how old you are, but I agree with others that if you are genuinely concerned with this, preempt her by going to the police. The thing is, people don't take men seriously when we are victims of a domestic situation. At the very least save every text message, email, or voicemail that could help you in the future. Ask your friends to save those messages from facebook, or any type of communication she sent to them proving her behavior. Record any conversation you have with her on the phone and get her to reveal her plan.
If she were to do this, the longer you stay the worse it looks on you. But you're just going to have to man up and deal with this.
Wow..you really need to be done with all of this.
As for the threatening to say you beat her, I would get a tape recorder of her admitting that she will hurt herself and accuse you of doing it. Then I would break up with her and go to the police to file a retraining order or to at least file a complaint and play the tape for them to cover your own ***.
Sorry buddy..good luck with everything, sounds like you will have a bit of drama for a while.
Also, good call by saving the texts..maybe she will leave you a nasty voice mail you could save as well
Help me end my dead end relationship?
I am in a relationship with an older man...very intelligent guy who is divorced with 2 children, boy 23 and girl 14. We dated briefly in 03, however had to keep things quiet...his exwife, who is remarried, has extreme jealousy issues and has bipolar disorder...She caught me going into his house in 03 and thru a fit...threatening to take his daughter and move out of state...this ended our relationship.
We began dating again in 09. He vowed to tell his ex he was going to be with me regardless. Just before the day we were going to talk to her he asks me a favor on his daughters behalf. Apparently she had asked that he not tell Mom yet out of fear that she wouldn't let her come and see him. I was disappointed but agreed. It has almost been a year and since October 09, I have felt just sick about it...especially since in late Oct he woke me up frantically asking me to hurry up and wake up because his exwife was on her way to pick up their son for breakfast...
He has NEVER taken me out anywhere...outside of being at his house we have only been out together one time and that was years ago when I bought a new car and wanted to take him for a drive...it was 2AM...that's the only time we have been in public together. He has never bought me anything or even acknowledged my birthday, Christmas or even Valentine's day. I'm not materialistic...but I would have been thrilled to get a card of acknowledgement. I got nothing.
Seems simple right...just end it? I've been trying...He vows he is going to tell his ex right away. Make things right. Go places with me and take me places...Make me an honest woman. He swears that he loves me, adores me and wants everything that I want. He is sorry that he has made me feel unimportant and wants to do everything he can to make things right...even if he has to take his exwife to court to be able to see his daughter. He vows to do all he can for me...even if he does, my feelings are made up...it has gone on too long. I don't like ';being'; with someone I can only see once in awhile (and it has to be at his house and in the middle of the night so his ex doesn't find us.)
I'm just done...but for some reason feel horrible about trying to end this...I mean, I do deserve better, don't I? His situation isn't my fault, is it? Based on the above...how can I end this relationship...? What would you say to end it sensibly?Help me end my dead end relationship?
No, this is not your fault. He needs to ';man up'; and tell his ex that he has just as much right to see his child as she does. Then if she gives him any trouble take her to court. Unfortunately, he did not think you were worth the effort, so he deserves to lose you. I am extremely suprised that you put up with his bs for this long. Tell him to give you a call when he grows a pair, and tells her.Help me end my dead end relationship?
You're completely right. I can say anything to you but it's meaningless unless I do/prove it.
just tell him you need some time to figure things out..and if he gets mad or what not then why would u want to be with that kind of person anyway??
so your answer would be in his?
i'm sorry but i didnt even need to read what you wrote.
to call you relationship ';dead end'; answers your own question. i mean that in the nicest way.
you deserve to be happy and in love!
all the best x
We began dating again in 09. He vowed to tell his ex he was going to be with me regardless. Just before the day we were going to talk to her he asks me a favor on his daughters behalf. Apparently she had asked that he not tell Mom yet out of fear that she wouldn't let her come and see him. I was disappointed but agreed. It has almost been a year and since October 09, I have felt just sick about it...especially since in late Oct he woke me up frantically asking me to hurry up and wake up because his exwife was on her way to pick up their son for breakfast...
He has NEVER taken me out anywhere...outside of being at his house we have only been out together one time and that was years ago when I bought a new car and wanted to take him for a drive...it was 2AM...that's the only time we have been in public together. He has never bought me anything or even acknowledged my birthday, Christmas or even Valentine's day. I'm not materialistic...but I would have been thrilled to get a card of acknowledgement. I got nothing.
Seems simple right...just end it? I've been trying...He vows he is going to tell his ex right away. Make things right. Go places with me and take me places...Make me an honest woman. He swears that he loves me, adores me and wants everything that I want. He is sorry that he has made me feel unimportant and wants to do everything he can to make things right...even if he has to take his exwife to court to be able to see his daughter. He vows to do all he can for me...even if he does, my feelings are made up...it has gone on too long. I don't like ';being'; with someone I can only see once in awhile (and it has to be at his house and in the middle of the night so his ex doesn't find us.)
I'm just done...but for some reason feel horrible about trying to end this...I mean, I do deserve better, don't I? His situation isn't my fault, is it? Based on the above...how can I end this relationship...? What would you say to end it sensibly?Help me end my dead end relationship?
No, this is not your fault. He needs to ';man up'; and tell his ex that he has just as much right to see his child as she does. Then if she gives him any trouble take her to court. Unfortunately, he did not think you were worth the effort, so he deserves to lose you. I am extremely suprised that you put up with his bs for this long. Tell him to give you a call when he grows a pair, and tells her.Help me end my dead end relationship?
You're completely right. I can say anything to you but it's meaningless unless I do/prove it.
just tell him you need some time to figure things out..and if he gets mad or what not then why would u want to be with that kind of person anyway??
so your answer would be in his?
i'm sorry but i didnt even need to read what you wrote.
to call you relationship ';dead end'; answers your own question. i mean that in the nicest way.
you deserve to be happy and in love!
all the best x
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