What to do when you find out someone you love dearly is a compulsive liar?

I was with this guy for several months and things were going well. He's been outwardly homosexual for a few years now, but most people who have been friends with him think that he is afraid to be anything but gay because he doesn't get along with his parents who are extremely catholic and he likes to do things to get them riled up. It was him that really got the relationship to be a relationship. Because he was gay, I knew what I couldn't fall for him so I put up a wall. He confessed to me that he was confused and he was falling in love with me.





In the beginning of our relationship (at the end of my senior year in high school), the first thing he told me was about how he apparently had sex with some girl and that he had a daughter. It was a very in depth story so who would think anything of it. About a month later he confessed that he had made up the whole thing. Trust was a bit rocky after that with him, but I forgave him because I loved him and I tried to always believe him after he promised he wouldn't lie again.





We were great up until a month ago. At the beginning of January, it was like a switch flipped and he did a full 180. He had a lot going on so I figured he was just stressed or something. A few weeks later, he confessed to me that supposedly our whole relationship was a lie and that he had led me on just to see if I could fall in love with him. Whether or not that is the truth, it doesn't matter, because either way he made up a huge lie - whether it be that our relationship was real and he ran, or if it was a one-sided relationship.





He did admit to me about a week after that he is a compulsive liar. I'm not one to just leave my friends for things because I know how hard it can be when you're alone, and I still loved him and wanted to be there for him even after how badly he hurt me. After that, he just started acting like a cocky jerk towards me and saying that I did this to myself and his stories kept changing. That's why I don't trust that he's telling me the truth that he wants to stop that habit. I've resorted to not responding to him at all anymore. I know I need to let him go, it's not like I want the relationship back because trust is such a huge thing in relationships, but I'm still having a lot of trouble getting over this.





Has anyone else gone through finding out the love of your current life is a compulsive liar? Or does anyone have any advice?What to do when you find out someone you love dearly is a compulsive liar?
He sounds like a guy who is really mixed up and is unsure of himself; of his sexuality and te fact that his background, if he is, would onflict with that. Sounds like he ha gone into some type of attention seeking to get attention and comfort - attention seeking is not a good trait to have anyway, but he has clearly gone too far and is using loyal, caring friends in the worst way. The problem is, if he carries on like this and you keep contact with him, he will carry on doing it as he won't see what he is doing is upsetting other people and playing with their feelings.Of course he's a friend and you care about him, but he has to appreciate his friends are there to help him through unsettled times, not to be taken advantage of.He has upset you terribly and it's unacceptable.


A suggestion would be is to outline it straight to him how he has hurt you by his stories; it wasn't fair and is not how friends should be treated. Make it very clear that such behaviour is unacceptable, but make it perfectly clear that if he needs a friend which he can honestly and open speak to then you would be happy to continue the friendship on that basis. I would then distnce the friendship a little bit for a while; take a couple of weeks out and he will realise how much of a friend you were. Let him contact you and dont make the running.


If he starts telling stories again after that, I wouldn't respond because he obviously hasnt learnt from his mistake unfortunately.What to do when you find out someone you love dearly is a compulsive liar?
I've been through it. The only thing you can do is leave and recover. At least you aren't Laci Peterson. At least you can get away.
I'm not reading all that!








If he's a liar, then it's time to find a new BF.
I dump them and move on