How can I get her to like me as more than a friend and to fall hopelessly in love with me?

I have never had any luck with girls/women. The ones I fall for are always my friends or if we were not friends before hand, we end up landing in the friend zone.





Back in November I asked a friend out one day. At the end of the date we concluded that we were just friends, and I was perfectly cool with that. I really had no romantic feelings for her.





Starting in January we began spending WAY too much time together. sometimes up to 30hrs a week (mostly b/c we have nearly every class together and study together). She would confide in me things she wouldn't tell any of her other friends. We were just friends, though, and although we were just friends, she really meant a great deal to me. I really didn't have any romantic feelings for her, but after spending so much time with her she became like a little sister that I felt I needed to protect (although one of her favorite phrases is ';I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself';).





She's had terrible relationships in the past, and she's told me and others that right now all she is focused on is school and that it's going to take a extremely special guy for her to ever want to form another relationship. She really is focused on only school. I mean, seriously, who gets a 4.0 with Calculus II, organic chemistry, analytical chemistry, microbiology, and physics?





Recently we went to the movies, and this was the first time we had gone ';out out'; since November. She was rather withdrawn, and she was overtly giving signals of non-interest. Even though we sat next to each other, she positioned herself as far away from me as possible and leaned away from me. After the movie we were supposed to grab some food, but she said she couldn't because she had to study. Mind you this is on a Saturday. It was as if she wanted to get away from me as quickly as possible.





That night I told some friends what happened (a guy and a girl in a relationship). These two are like my best friends, and the girl just went berserk when I told her what happened at the movies (she feels she has to protect me from getting my heart broken). We pretty much concluded that it was best for me to distance myself from the girl I had went out with.





That Monday when we met up for lab I purposely paid no where near as much attention to her as I normally do. She pointed it out by asking if I got to sleep late the previous night because I seemed tired. I also started flirting with some girls. Normally on Mondays it's a reflex for us to go to lunch as soon as we're out of class; however on that day as I walked towards where we usually eat she decided to go to our next class early and wait in the hallway. I was like ';ok'; and kept walking to get lunch (trying to ';distance'; myself from her). I intentionally didn't sit next to her in class (granted I had been mentioning repositioning myself anyway).





It was probably all in my head, but it felt like there was a great deal of heated tension between us at this point.





So I took a break from her. The next time I saw her was at the library. We went to the same study group even though neither of us knew the other was going. I say hey, but for the most part I pretty much stay distant. There were about 5 girls flirting with me that night, and I saw that she noticed. She was grinning and laughing at it, shaking her head.





After the study session, I walked her back to her car b/c 1) She parked far and 2) It was our normal routine. She said that I didn't have to walk her to her car and that she's ';a big girl';, and that she can take care of herself but that she appreciated it.





So after that everything went back to normal between us. The only difference was that I was thinking about her 24/7. I still didn't have any romantic feelings for her, but I kept thinking to myself ';it sure would be nice if I did.';





So yesterday I had a date with someone else. an old friend that I hadn't seen in years, and I had the perfect opportunity to get with her. I was in her room, and we were just having fun. 1am rolls around, and I ask her if I had been anyone else would she have let me in her room this late at night after not having seen her in years. She said ';no b/c I trust you.'; I wasn't about to break that trust by making a douche-bag move on her, so I didn't.





But when I got back to my dorm about 2am, I explained to some guys that I had gone out with a friend that night and what had happened. One of them said ';that really cute girl you're always with'; (referring to the friend I've been talking about this entire post). The other guy said ';no it wasn't her, but that's who he NEEDS to be with.';





To that I responded without thinking ';yeah, you're right.'; And that's when I realized that I was crazy about the girl.








So, I want to play this right. I'll be as patient as I need to be. I want to be that ';extremely special guy'; that she's waiting for. I need advice, though, because I don't want to ruin this friendship AND end up without her.How can I get her to like me as more than a friend and to fall hopelessly in love with me?
speaking as a girl, you sound very sweet. It seems to me like she has just had a rough time and wants to protect her heart for being hurt again. When you went to the movies, the close proximity might have taken her aback and surprised her. She probably wasn't even thinking about that until you were in the cinema.





For what its worth, it sounds like she likes you. Your right, patience is required. You need to show her that you are not like any other heart breaker she has been out with - that might be what she now expects from every guy. Continue to be her friend and let her know you are here for her. It will take time for her to trust men again. What she needs right now is a friend so be honest with her, girls appreciate that, tell her you really care about her, you will always be around to help her and you always want that. You also have to tell her that you will never hurt her or pressurize her into something she is uncomfortable with, and that she can always talk to you about anything, you will always be her friend.





(Don't mention your undying love for her just yet though). Also, its not a crime for you to play the field in the meantime, I'm sure she will understand, but show some serious sensitivity where she is concerned. No flirting in front of her, no dates where you know she will be, and if your friends have noticed your feelings towards her, try to be more discreet. She may have noticed to and that's why things have changed.





They seemed to have gone back to normal though. So go on dates if you want, and if she asks you about if you have been dating, tell her yes, but don't volunteer information, let her ask it. That way she knows that while you are not keeping any secrets form her, you are also not hanging around just waiting for her.





If she wants to focus on school work, you need to respect that. Also, try not to spend every spare second with her, give her some independence. the ';I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself'; thing may be an indication that she feels suffocated and wants some independence, not you to do it all for her. Back off slightly and respect her wishes, but continue to let her know thar should she desire it, you are 100% there for her if she needs you and she can alwaya ask you for help. I'm sure she will be really grateful.





Don't be distant, this will only confuse her and make her feel like you are playing games with her heart and her head. That is really the last thing she needs right now. I think you threw her off by suddenly going so distant to the extent of verging in callousness. Also, don't break old habits, continue to do the same things with her, don't make her feel like you are avoiding her like the plague. And for what it is worth, the Saturday she ';went home to study'; that was definately more to do with her than it was to do with you. She probably just wanted some space to clear her head, having been really close to you the whole night, remember, she doesn't see this the same way you do, she is still just probably looking for the guy she could tell anything to and really rely on. Make it clear you are still that guy and you always will be. Don't be distant, just please don't.





Still sit next to her in class, unless indicated by her otherwise. You have to take this at her pace, she is vulnerbale right now and in a place where she needs your friendship, closeness and warmth, without all the heat and lust and love that she is almost certainly feeling. She won't be able to help it, you have been there for her, you will be in her heart and in her head. She is confused, she wants something she can't have, be her rock. Solid, reliable, dependable, there for her and completely 100% on her side no matter what for as long as she needs you to be. When she gets out of her more needy phase, things won't be nearly this hard, I promise. xxx





You sound really sweet and like a really great guy - and she sounds like she really appreciates it. Good luck, you deserve happiness and so does she. I really hope things work out for you, and if there is any justice in the world, things will. =D





And when things do, your relationship will be filled with love and warmth and trust and closeness and friendship. The kind of thing that is incredibly special and incredibly rare. I know it is hard right now but it is so worth the wait, believe me!





Please, please, please, DO NOT do what yeventryuwilllose says. It is not worth and she is not in a place emotionally where she would be able to cope with it. I am a girl, and to be honest I was in a situation very similar to yours and hers a while ago. The guy started flirting with loads of different girls and he stopped being so sensitive and less like the guy I knew/loved/was friends with. And things fell apart. If you want this to work you need to listen to me, distant and cocky won't work. Touching the small of her back and stroking her hair won't work, you will only scare her away!





And by the way, you say that you want to be that ';extremely special guy for her';...you already are, how could you not be?





And you thought you wrote loads. lol.How can I get her to like me as more than a friend and to fall hopelessly in love with me?
express to her how she makes you feel.
So, my friend, you are deep in the friends zone. You recognize this, and so does she. First off, you have to determine if she is physically attracted to you. If she is, then you have a shot. If she isnt, then there is really no chance. What you can do is start behaving less like a girlfriend, and more like a guy who is interested. Start flirting with her more, break the physical touch barrier, put your hand on the small of her back or brush her hair back. Get a picture of how she reacts.





Really the friendship means something to you, but you want more. You will never get to that next level unless you stop being her confidante and psychologist. distance yourself from her like you have been doing. Get a little cockier, make her see you as a sexual being, not just a friend.





If you want more, youll have to risk losing the friendship, but isnt that worth it? if she starts dating another guy seriously, youll more than likely lose it anyway.





good luck
Wow. ****,





Sorry, but god :L Yes you obviously are crazy about her, but you sound like your in such an amazing friendship right now, a seriously small amount of couples are together for long from such a young age.





What i think you should do is leave it for a bit, obviously stay friends, but wait before you tell her how you feel or make a move on her. If you still feel the same after a matter of time, you could start to think about moving forward with her, but that brings me to the first point.





On the time you went on an ';out out'; date with her she was obviously refraining from sending off any sexual signals, if this is how she usually is then i think she's after more of a friendship, and seriously nothing more.





Maybe you could go out more with her, telling her its platonic, and seeing how she is then, if she is the same than i don't think you should try and move forward as she obviously cherishes your friendship, and doesn't want to lead you on in risk of losing it, but if she loosens up then you can slowly reveal how you feel about her. Don't blurt it out all at once though, that risks scaring her off, just tell her one night after a romantic movie that you really love spending time with her - and send off small hints like that.





Anyway i really think you should take into account EVERYTHING before you move forward as you have a friendship which is very special, and that most people would dream of sharing with someone. xx
well you wrote alot so i didnt bother to read it all because if i did i'd be here all night LOL but anyway you say you dont have any luck with girls huh? you just need to find a person more your speed if your a busey cool gangsta person or a friendly shy quiet person thats the type of girls you need to find an hang wit cause im a shy friendly quiet person and it's easier for me to flirt and break the ice with a quiet shy person ya know good luck theirs some one for everyone you just gotta look harder
It seems as though she really wants to focus on her education. Maybe uv given her hints that u like her without realising and shes noticed and it seems as though shes trying to make it clear to u that she wants to be friends only. Maybe what u shud do is flirt with other girls and talk to her about other girls - so she knows ur not interested in her. some girls dont realise what theyve got until theyve lost it. I wish I could think of more things for u to try, I really hope this helps.. x





p.s im having the same problem understanding this one guy, I would really appreciate it if u would answer my question





http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/ind鈥?/a>





thanks in advance x
if you truly like the girl i think you should tell her an see where it goes from there she must like you in someway because it seems like you have a daily schedual an that is important in life is to make time to spend with her